At dear, dear Pippa’s house for daycare yesterday, Friends, you will be very pleased to know that I left Jim’s lunch alone. You will remember that last week I helped myself to his cheese and biscuits while he answered the door to the postman – this week I was the model of self-restraint. All I did, as you can see, was sit in front of Pippa’s Pack Leader while she had her lunch, and stared fixedly at the plate. I did not jump up, snatch or run off with any food. Do I get thanked for this? Of course not.
What I did treat myself to last night was the paper case from a chocolate cupcake. Young Lad was eating his second chocolate cake of the evening when he carelessly put the chocolatey paper thing on the windowsill – this is very untidy so I leapt up and cleared it away. I’m not sure how well paper digests but we will soon find out.
I thought I was in for another treat, actually, as later in the evening Lad cooked himself breaded chicken and chips in the oven. This was unexpected as only two hours beforehand Lad had eaten a large dinner with everyone else, but at 9pm was peckish and so needed another one. Unfortunately Lad does not know about sell-by-dates and the keeping properties of breaded chicken and the like, and it turned out the chicken tasted funny. Lad didn’t eat it and I thought it might be coming my way, but She said NO. Lad has learned a lesson about food preservation and I have learned that She is horrid.
Do you remember the fiasco of all the cakes baked for the football match, only to find the football match was rained off? Well, Readers, it turns out that the local publican did indeed save the day, and managed to flog the boxes of brownies and bread pudding (it was a bit chanky in truth) on his bar. So in our kitchen we have a pot with £15 in loose change, which is the proceeds of the cake sale. While everyone was out on Monday, I grabbed hold of this pot and took it into the lounge, to check whether any cake had got mixed up in it. When She came in, She told me off for chucking the coins all over the floor. Don’t worry, I didn’t eat any.
I had also ripped up Gingercat’s empty GoCat biscuit box and chucked that round the floor too, so it was quite a mess. It had been an extra large box of GoCat so there was an extra large amount of cardboard all over the place. Oh the moaning at me. Then I was taken out for a long, long walk to tire me out and stop me misbehaving for the rest of the day.
There was a nice roast dinner for everyone on Monday night, as a civilised start to the week – this only lasts as far as Tuesday and everything goes downhill pretty quickly from then on. It did mean, of course, that the plates were plastered in gravy and bits, so I had a marvellous time in the dishwasher. I had also grabbed a carrot and a large piece of broccoli during preparation of the meal, so you can imagine the aroma in the lounge later that evening.
Of course it is now Wednesday, by which time standards have slipped a long way. Tonight Young Lad and Detention Friend had to cook themselves oven chips as their ‘meal’ before football – they argued a little over who did the actual cooking, with Young Lad saying he did it, and Detention Friend pointing out that he said when it was ready. I think this is teamwork and they should be congratulated. Lad arrived home to find his text message to She at work that said “pls buy Dr Oetker pizza,” had been ignored as the bldytraffic was a bldymare and there wasn’t time to buy a Dr Oetker AND get Young Lad to football on time. Poor Lad, had he known this he would happily have popped up and bought one himself – this smacks of poor organisation. Luckily Lovelyneighbourontheright popped round with a big plate of food and saved the day. Again.
I am in the study with She and Gingercat tonight, Friends, as there is another dreary football match on the telly and everyone else is in there watching it. I find the noise of the silly commentators quite irritating and it is much more peaceful in here, with just the humming of the tumble dryer from behind the door, and whatever gripping series on Netflix we’ve decided to try next.
Having had a day at dear Ebony’s today – we both rolled in some fox poo – tomorrow I am back at Pippa’s house. On Tuesday, they had run out of cheese at Pippa’s house, so Jim had to have beans on toast for lunch which is partly why I let him have it this time. I sincerely hope that Pippa’s Pack Leader has been shopping by the time I get there tomorrow, and stocked up the fridge.
Golly I’m tired – it must be bed time, surely.
See you soon,