The other evening I was in an unusually playful mood, Readers, and for no apparent reason grabbed a stuffed toy out of my toy box and ran round the lounge with it. It was terrific fun and everyone joined in – He, Lad and Young Lad all chased me up and down, trying to rugby tackle me to the floor. They failed. I am much too fleet of foot for any of them! This cracking game went on for about half an hour until I tired of the whole affair and sat down.
Seven years old is not too old to be chasing toys around, I’ll have you know.
Anyway, today I have been in the car for ages as we have come to visit Nana aged 88. Regular Readers will know that Nana aged 88 isn’t my greatest fan and I always try extra hard to ingratiate myself with her. Today was no different, as the planned heavy duty gardening that Young Lad and Lad were supposed to be carrying out was postponed due to the rain, so they all went out for an hour to do some shopping. She very carefully moved all the food to the back of the working surface and thought the house looked beagle-proof before leaving.
I soon opened a cupboard and found the rubbish bag, so I dragged it out and emptied the contents all over the kitchen floor. Some bits I took into the dining room and made a pretty pattern with the teabags on the carpet. The kitchen floor was plastered and I ate loads of the stuff that was in the rubbish bag.
For dessert I found some carrots on the vegetable rack (luckily Nana aged 88’s Sainsbury’s delivery had arrived just before we did this morning) so I took all the carrots off and ate them. I dropped the plastic bag on the dining room floor with the teabags.
Once I had eaten my fill, I retired to the back of the sofa which is in the lounge window, so I could look up and down the road, waiting for my family’s return. I was sure they would be so pleased with all my hard work.
Nobody was pleased at all. They all shouted at me, and Lad very gallantly offered to clean up the mess, then She irritably washed the floor with disinfectant. Nana aged 88 was very cross and told me I am a pain.
Unfortunately some of the rubbish that I ate has been difficult to digest and I am making absolutely foul smells tonight, quite loud ones, too – which served them right for shouting at me. I imagine I will need several trips into the garden in the course of the night, too, which again will serve them right.
It was a long journey in the car this morning, and we had to go on something called the bldyM25 which is always RUBBISH! Or so it seems. Today it was spectacularly rubbish with miles of traffic jams, and our journey took at least an hour longer than usual. I was impeccably behaved and slept throughout- though of course nobody thanked me for this. They only notice the negatives. Once we had arrived at Nana aged 88’s house, Lad and Young Lad were told to go in and help get lunch ready while She and I had a long walk in the park to stretch our legs after being in the car for so long. It was a very pleasant walk and I ran around a lot, glad to be out in the fresh air. We called in at the tea rooms for a coffee, and I stood nicely in the queue waiting to order – lots of customers complimented me on my excellent behaviour and said what a good boy I am. If only they could smell the room I’m lying in now.
It has been very drizzly today with gusty winds – yes! only days ago we were in a heatwave – and poor Lad and Young Lad have not been able to get to work in the garden. I’m not sure it is entirely fair that they are forced into such labour during the school holidays but there you go. As it was too unpleasant to do jobs outside, Nana aged 88 said Lad could do the ironing instead.
Down at the river last night, Friends, I looked out carefully for adders in the long grass but didn’t see any. As usual, everyone walking past warned everyone else about the dog who was bitten by an adder and one has to wonder how long this will continue to be a habit. We wandered up towards Far Field where I had to stop in fear, as coming towards me was Chloe the large golden retriever that took an intense dislike to me years ago when we first met. Chloe normally leaps at me and snarls a lot, and her very nice Pack Leaders have to drag her off, but last night Chloe showed remarkable leniency and walked straight past me without tearing off my ears. This is great progress.
Young Lad said, as he was eating his lunch, “what’s for dinner tonight?” as this question was at the forefront of his mind. I, too, often think about my next meal as I am eating my current one. Anyway, Young Lad continued to ponder this all afternoon and eventually went to the Fish and Chip shop tonight as nobody could be bothered to cook. The fish and chips smelled delicious and I sat by Nana aged 88 with my big brown eyes, with as much hope as I could muster, but of course I had blotted my copybook by then and there was no way Nana aged 88 was going to give me a burnt chip. I felt this was unnecessarily parsimonious.
Tomorrow the weather is meant to be better, which means a whole day in Nana aged 88’s garden whilst Lad and Young Lad are put to work. I’m looking forward to this, as I will sit by Nana aged 88’s feet while she drinks tea and chats. This is a very pleasant way to spend a summer’s day.
Goodness my tummy isn’t feeling too good – very bloated and turbulent. She has just opened the lounge window wide – how rude.
See you soon,