stuffed toy The other evening I was in an unusually playful mood, Readers, and for no apparent reason grabbed a stuffed toy out of my toy box and ran round the lounge with it.  It was terrific fun and everyone joined in – He, Lad and Young Lad all chased me up and down, trying to rugby tackle me to the floor.  They failed.  I am much too fleet of foot for any of them!  This cracking game went on for about half an hour until I tired of the whole affair and sat down.

Seven years old is not too old to be chasing toys around, I’ll have you know.

Anyway, today I have been in the car for ages as we have come to visit Nana aged 88.  Regular Readers will know that Nana aged 88 isn’t my greatest fan and I always try extra hard to ingratiate myself with her.  Today was no different, as the planned heavy duty gardening that Young Lad and Lad were supposed to be carrying out was postponed due to the rain, so they all went out for an hour to do some shopping.  She very carefully moved all the food to the back of the working surface and thought the house looked beagle-proof before leaving.

It wasn’t.

I soon opened a cupboard and found the rubbish bag, so I dragged it out and emptied the contents all over the kitchen floor.  Some bits I took into the dining room and made a pretty pattern with the teabags on the carpet.   The kitchen floor was plastered and I ate loads of the stuff that was in the rubbish bag.

For dessert I found some carrots on the vegetable rack (luckily Nana aged 88’s Sainsbury’s delivery had arrived just before we did this morning) so I took all the carrots off and ate them.  I dropped the plastic bag on the dining room floor with the teabags.

Once I had eaten my fill, I retired to  the back of the sofa which is in the lounge window, so I could look up and down the road, waiting for my family’s return.  I was sure they would be so pleased with all my hard work.

Nobody was pleased at all.  They all shouted at me, and Lad very gallantly offered to clean up the mess, then She irritably washed the floor with disinfectant. Nana aged 88 was very cross and told me I am a pain.

Unfortunately some of the rubbish that I ate has been difficult to digest and I am making absolutely foul smells tonight, quite loud ones, too – which served them right for shouting at me.  I imagine I will need several trips into the garden in the course of the night, too, which again will serve them right.

It was a  long journey in the car this morning, and we had to go on something called  the bldyM25 which is always RUBBISH! Or so it seems.  Today it was spectacularly rubbish with miles of traffic jams, and our journey took at least an hour longer than usual.  I was impeccably behaved and slept throughout- though of course nobody thanked me for this.  They only notice the negatives.  Once we had arrived at Nana aged 88’s house, Lad and Young Lad were told to go in and help get lunch ready while She and I had a long walk in the park to stretch our legs after being in the car for so long.  It was a very pleasant walk and I ran around a lot, glad to be out in the fresh air.  We called in at the tea rooms for a coffee, and I stood nicely in the queue waiting to order – lots of customers complimented me on my excellent behaviour and said what a good boy I am.  If only they could smell the room I’m lying in now.

It has been very drizzly today with gusty winds – yes! only days ago we were in a heatwave – and poor Lad and Young Lad have not been able to get to work in the garden.  I’m not sure it is entirely fair that they are forced into such labour during the school holidays but there you go.  As it was too unpleasant to do jobs outside, Nana aged 88 said Lad could do the ironing instead.  

Down at the river last night, Friends, I looked out carefully for adders in the long grass but didn’t see any.  As usual, everyone walking past warned everyone else about the dog who was bitten by an adder and one has to wonder how long this will continue to be a habit.  We wandered up towards Far Field where I had to stop in fear, as coming towards me was Chloe the large golden retriever that took an intense dislike to me years ago when we first met.  Chloe normally leaps at me and snarls a lot, and her very nice Pack Leaders have to drag her off, but last night Chloe showed remarkable leniency and walked straight past me without tearing off my ears.  This is great progress.

Young Lad said, as he was eating his lunch, “what’s for dinner tonight?” as this question was at the forefront of his mind.  I, too, often think about my next meal as I am eating my current one.  Anyway, Young Lad continued to ponder this all afternoon and eventually went to the Fish and Chip shop tonight as nobody could be bothered to cook.  The fish and chips smelled delicious and I sat by Nana aged 88 with my big brown eyes, with as much hope as I could muster, but of course I had blotted my copybook by then and there was no way Nana aged 88 was going to give me a burnt chip.  I felt this was unnecessarily parsimonious.

Tomorrow the weather is meant to be better, which means a whole day in Nana aged 88’s garden whilst Lad and Young Lad are put to work.  I’m looking forward to this, as I will sit by Nana aged 88’s feet while she drinks tea and chats.  This is a very pleasant way to spend a summer’s day.

Goodness my tummy isn’t feeling too good – very bloated and turbulent.  She has just opened the lounge window wide – how rude.

See you soon,




Snake in the grass

adder Phew what a scorcher, Readers.  This week we have experienced an unprecedented heatwave and today was a record-breaking 38.1 degrees.  Now that’s all well and good if you live somewhere used to such heat and therefore have something called AIR CONDITIONING but of course we don’t.  The house is unbearable and having every single window and door open is not only a burglar’s dream but is also making no difference whatsoever to the temperature.

There is a horrible whirry thing plugged in that is moving the hot air round the room nicely – I believe this is called a fan – but really I don’t know why they bother.

Readers, for the third night running I just don’t know what to do with myself or how on earth I will get any sleep.   I just pant and pant and throw myself on the floor.  I was shouted at today for lying in the full sun in the garden during the record-breaking temperatures but really I don’t think this is the sort of day one should be shouting at one’s dog or calling them ‘stupid’.  

Everyone is in a bad mood because of the extreme heat.  Young Lad has just laid around all day watching films, or occasionally going into the garden only to be beaten by the heat.  Lad, who is more stoic, has gone to a town far away to see his friends, even though this was a stupid bldy decision as the railway tracks are bound to buckle and then the trains will grind to halt.  Fair play to Lad for not listening to advice and sticking to his guns, I say.

My Pack Leader in particular is not good-humoured in this weather and prone to irritability.  To be fair, She did get up and take me for a walk by 7am today, before it was too hot, and we  had a pleasant stroll down at the river.  There were lots of other dogs down there as they all had the same idea, and even though it was very early it was still pretty warm.  I had no choice but to paddle in the river to cool myself down a little – I didn’t throw myself in like the silly chocolate labradors and  German Shepherds, but I did have a jolly good wallow through the shallow part. Blow me down, just as we were all enjoying ourselves, we are told by a nice lady with a Collie that a dog was bitten by an adder by the river yesterday!!  Yes! An adder!  She was a little sceptical – which was rude I thought- and said that She had never seen snakes at the river, but the Collie lady stood firm and said there are a LOT of adders in the long grass by the river.  It turns out that the dog who was bitten by the adder was in a pretty bad way as the Evil Vet didn’t have any adder antidote – yes, the question why has to  be asked! – but luckily the Evil Vet is very skilled even without the anti-venom and put the dog on a drip quickly to save his life.  Well done, Evil Vet.

The point remains that there are snakes by the river, and this is problematic.  Obviously the river is in much demand at the moment for cooling off – not just my friends and I, but teenagers too – so I feel signs should be put up warning people of this. I am nothing if not a  good citizen.

Anyway, after our walk She went to work and left me with Lad and Young Lad for the morning.  Again.  The three of us have spent the entire week here unsupervised and unloved,  having to fend for ourselves and raid the fridge for snacks every hour.  It’s actually been very pleasant with nobody to nag us and tell us to empty the dishwasher. Young Lad surpassed himself one day by emptying it without being asked, AND putting all the dirty stuff in, AND getting the washing in!!  Young Lad had to sit down for a while afterwards.  Today Young Lad found Lad’s missing front door key – this was mislaid over a week ago, leading to much stress – and now She is cross that she forked out £10 at Timpson’s for a new one to be cut. 

Readers, you will enjoy this little tale.  Do you remember the saga of the massive paddling pool thing the other day – where they tried to empty it, and followed instructions to attach a hose to drain the water out, only didn’t realise it had to be going downhill…..well, today they have gone one better.  The massive paddling pool thing has been up for several days as Detention Friend and Young Lad have been in and out of it all week and She has plopped into it of an evening to cool down after a hot day at work. The water is looking a little murky, so tonight She decided to read the instructions for attaching the pump, to filter out all the crap. Having read the instructions, She was none the wiser but said “for god’s sake how hard can it be” and tried to stick some tube things into some holes.  Only they didn’t fit.  A good half hour was spent trying to re-shape the plastic tubes and force them into the holes at the side of the pool.

Eventually – don’t forget it was very hot and patience wears thin pretty quickly – She gave up and dragged the pump and tubes up the garden to speak to Lovelyneighbourontheright who has far more idea about these things.  Lovelyneighbourontheright was eating her tea in the garden and I did feel it was rude to bother her at such a time, but She has no shame and said “where am I meant to be sticking these plastic tubes/they don’t fit/ it doesn’t work.”  Lovelyneighbourontheright said you need to put the tubes over the pipes sticking out.  She said there aren’t any pipes sticking out, so poor Lovelyneighbourontheright put down her dinner and came to look over the fence.

Readers, the pool is inside out.

In her defence, Lovelyneighbourontheright did very well not to snort with derision but instead gently said oh dear I think you’ve put the pool up inside out as the pipes I was talking about are on the inside and should  be on the outside.

Sometimes I really, really worry about my family.

I did think, when I was in the pool earlier today, that it didn’t look right.  Yes I got in the pool!  That’s how hot it was – I had to carefully climb over the edge and stand in the murky water up to my stomach.  I won’t be doing that again until they have managed to put the pool up the right way.

Well, it has not cooled down one degree since I started my blog tonight – we are all praying for a cracking good thunderstorm to sort it all out but nothing exciting like that ever happens when you want it to.

See you soon,




Weight Loss

scalesI know, I know.  It’s been a week since my last blog and many of you have been worried sick about me. It really isn’t good enough, is it – I have tried to make She realise that we have a duty to our Readers but She says She’s been too busy.  It’s just so selfish.

So let’s catch up. First of all I have some dramatic news.  Yesterday, a minute was found in the busy schedule of life at the moment, to drag Gingercat and I to the Evil Vet’s for our annual vaccination boosters.  Neither of us enjoy this outing, it has to be said, and we  make it as difficult as possible.  Firstly, someone has to climb into the back of the garden shed, finding their way over the car roofbox, sunloungers, lawnmower, bikes and many old pots of paint.  Right at the very back, close to a family of tarantulas, is Gingercat’s wicker basket.

Gingercat’s basket then has to be hosed down at arm’s length due to the said tarantulas. 

Once the basket has aired out, Gingercat is tracked down to wherever he is happily sleeping in the house, and picked up.  An attempt is made to shove him head first into the basket, but Gingercat arches his back and puts his feet down and refuses to budge.  So one hand has to be taken off the careful hold of the cat, to push his back down a bit and try to shove him into the basket once more.  Gingercat twists and turns and digs his claws into She.  There is then some swearing for about half an hour until Gingercat is given one final push and the door is closed on him very quickly.

Then it is my turn.

I pretend that I haven’t noticed the fiasco with Gingercat and I co-operate very nicely, jumping into the boot of the car.  However, once we arrive at the Evil Vet’s I refuse to leave the boot of the car.  Young Lad was forced to come with us yesterday as it is difficult to manage a recalcitrant cat and nervous Beagle on one’s own, and so it was Young Lad’s job to try and coax me out of the car boot.  He failed.  I pushed myself further and further back, so that I was squashed in the corner of the car boot and I dug my claws in very strongly.  There was no amount of pulling that would get me out of the car.

There was a little more bad language, Readers, and Gingercat’s basket had to be put down on the ground as it was now a two-person job to pull me out of the car boot.  I was called all sorts of names and I really feel this was unnecessary.

Finally I was out and into the Evil Vet’s we went.  She told the Evil Vet that I am a nightmare – how rude – and so the Evil Vet put a muzzle on me when he stuck the needle in.  To be fair he was very gentle.  Then the Evil Vet took the muzzle off and gave me an MOT, remarking on what a fine dog I am, and then She said, “oh he’s got  a fatty lump.”  This is a little rich.

The Evil Vet agreed that it was indeed a small fatty lump and not to worry (She wasn’t).  Then – this is the Great News, Readers – the Evil Vet put me on the scales.  I have lost one kilogram since my last visit at Christmas!! (That was for the mince pie eating episode.)   One whole kilogram!!!  I now weigh 18.5 kg and this is the lightest I have EVER been since living with my family.  And is despite stealing Young Lad’s toast again  yesterday!  Oh I was very pleased with myself, and well done all those people at the river who have remarked on how slim I am at the moment. The Evil Vet complimented me on my physique.

Funnily enough, Gingercat has lost weight too!  He weighs 5kg which is less than last time he was checked, so we are all a very healthy, weight-lossy family.  Apart from the person that most needs to fall into that category.  A unusual trip to the gym was made today, which can’t be pure coincidence following Gingercat and my weigh-in yesterday.  Shame can be a great motivator.

I’ve had a lovely week with my friends dear Ebony and Pippa.  Ebony was rather naughty one day and opened a cupboard in the kitchen that her Pack Leader had forgotten to tie up before they went out.  This was a classic schoolboy error, and Ebony soon had that cupboard open. She ate a packet of chocolate finger biscuits,some bourbon biscuits and a peanut bar.  However, Ebony did NOT eat the packet of chocolate digestives as I have told her many times how vulgar it is to over-indulge and I’m very proud of her self-restraint.

Please don’t worry that Ebony might have been ill after eating all that.  Ebony’s constitution is much like my own.

At Pippa’s house this week I have mostly slept on the soft furnishings, and occasionally out in the sunshine.  It really is a very pleasant way to while away the hours.

Lad and Young Lad are very  happy as they have finished school for the long summer holiday.  There will be no more 6am horrid alarm bells or frantic searching for PE kits for six weeks.  I am so pleased for them, and it will be lovely to have them home with  me even though they won’t take me for walks.   Lad has gone out to a town far away this evening, to see his friends and celebrate not being at school for 6 weeks, and Young Lad has gone to the snooker club with He.  In fact Young Lad has been remarkably energetic today, with a two hour swimming session with Detention Friend this afternoon.  I don’t think there was a lot of swimming but I believe that bombing in the deep end is just as exhausting.  As is being told off for going in the toddler pool illegally.  

So I have Young Lad and Lad here with me this week, while She is still getting up at silly o’clock and going to work.  I sincerely hope that this is done quietly with the minimum of fuss so that the rest of us are undisturbed.

Golly I’m exhausted.

See you soon.




field Well, Readers, all I can say is that it’s a jolly good job I had my walk this morning before all the drama started.  What an afternoon!  I believe half the country have been glued to their television sets for many hours and I imagine many of my fellow dogs have been completely neglected.  Dearie me.  It seems there has been an ‘astonishing’ afternoon of sport in our beloved country and so all other activities were put on the back burner for several hours.  This seems unfair on any of us who couldn’t give a monkey’s about the Cricket World Cup or Wimbledon Men’s Final.  And yes, some of us really couldn’t.

Young Lad will, of course, be absolutely full of it when he finally returns home tonight as He and Young Lad have been at somewhere called Boreds, or is it Lords, watching the aforementioned Cricket World Cup Final.  This has gone on a ridiculously long time today as it ended in a tie-break and then they had to do something called a Super Over, whatever that is, to decide the outcome.  It’s all rather silly if you ask me, and I slept throughout.  So did Gingercat.  Anyway there was a lot of tense oohing and squealing as  not only was the cricket being watched, but also the tennis Men’s final which was equally down to the wire, and the air was punctuated by shouts of “Go on Roger!” every so often.  I was quite impressed by the manual dexterity shown in flicking between BBC1 and Channel 4 every minute.  

In all honesty though I was quite glad when it was all over and normal things like the ironing were done instead.

On my walk today, as you will see from the picture, we went up through Top Field where the grass is still far too long and there are now hundred of species of wild flowers growing.   Really somebody from the council should have been up there weeks ago to cut it so that I can walk more comfortably without it poking in my eyes, but no.  And now that there are all these purple and pink wild flowers it has probably had some sort of nature preservation order slapped on it, so I will forever be hidden beneath the flora.  Though it has to be said I found some dry fox poo to roll in, and She couldn’t see me, so that was quite a result. 

It was a warm, slightly humid morning and I was panting a great deal by the time I came back down to the river.  In I went, for a lovely cooling dip as did several other dogs who were being walked in the middle of a hot morning,   Then my day improved hugely as who did I see further up the hill but dear, dear Pippa!  Oh it was wonderful.  Even though I was completely exhausted, I dug deep and found the energy to bound around with her and run in that silly way with my tail between my legs when she chases me.  It was great!  Plus of course, I had a chat with Pippa’s Pack Leader whom I love dearly, and she had her Mum with her, and do you know what her Mum said?  “Russell looks slimmer.”  I know!  And that’s with all the bin-raiding I’ve done lately.  On the way back home I stopped to chew up and eat a stick, so She got cross and a little impatient with me, and put me back on the lead.  What a cracking morning’s walk.

Last Friday, my Pack Leader had promised me she wasn’t working and that we would have a day at home together, but oh no – the phone went at silly o’clock asking her to work.  Actually this worked out well for me, as a panic-stricken text message was sent next door to Lovelyneighbourontheright, to see if they could let me out mid-morning.  Now Lovelyneihgbourontheright is very kind and didn’t want to see me home alone, unloved, all day so took me out for a long walk with their Cockapoo and let me spend the rest of the day round at their house!  Oh I loved it – I tried out most of their soft furnishings and spent a large part of the day sprawled out on their new garden furniture.  The Cockapoo is not allowed on the garden furniture but I was.  I think this is because I was the guest, and it was a reasonable decision.

So it’s been really peaceful here today with Young Lad and He at Boreds.  Lad has been, er, I’m not really sure what Lad has been doing but most of it has involved sitting on the sofa.  Then She suggested a driving lesson this afternoon and took Lad over to an industrial estate, where Lad practised first and second gear, and reversing.  How exciting.  Then they celebrated Lad not having crashed into anything by going to Costalotta for a drink.  Whilst there Lad engaged in lots of deep, philosophical discussion so before long She sighed and said it was time to go home. Lad is not appreciated  much of the time.

It’s going to be a busy old week, I’ve been told, so my daycare is being sorted out.  Thank the Lord for all my friends and neighbours, that’s all I can say.

Well Readers, I hope you enjoyed your tense afternoon of British Sport At It’s Best and that you have now taken the time to pay your animals and children some attention.  Such as feeding them.

See you soon,


Bin and done it

binWell Readers, I broke some new ground today.  Normally as you well know, I only knock the kitchen bin over and raid it once everyone has gone out.  This morning however, Gingercat started yowling to come in at 5.40am and She stomped back upstairs moaning that the bldy alarm would be going off in fifteen minutes blah blah blah.  Usually I follow and go back to bed but today was different – I knew for a fact that some crusts of garlic bread were chucked in the bin last night, and boy could I smell them.  So I waited a suitable amount of time until all was quiet upstairs, and then I knocked the bin over with a loud bang.

Well, what a treat!  I worked very fast pulling everything out of the bin and dragging stuff round the kitchen floor – it was pretty full as usual – and was delighted to find the garlic bread crusts. Plus quite a lot of other things.  By the time the penny had dropped with anyone upstairs, as to what the loud bang was, it was far too late and no amount of running down the stairs shouting at me was going to be effective.  I felt this was a cracking start to the day.

Not everyone agreed.

Now I know what you’re thinking – why on earth are they throwing crusts of garlic bread into the household rubbish bin?  This is environmentally unacceptable.  Anyone with a modicum of sense puts their garlic bread crusts onto the bird table, or at the very least into the food compost bin provided by the local council for this very purpose.  Or possibly just give them to one’s dog. I have no idea why my family put them into the bin, and have raised this with them.

There have been several questionable decisions here lately.  Last night was full of them!  After dinner, Lad and Young Lad were told they had to help empty the oversized paddling pool thing in the garden, as it was killing the grass and the water would soon be turning green.  Now, how to remove 2000 litres of water from the pool.  Oh Readers, how I laughed.  Instructions were read, a cap was unscrewed and an attempt was made to attach the garden hose in order to drain the water.  The only problem was that the pool was sitting at the bottom of the garden and there was no way in the law of physics that the water was going to run uphill.  It took half an hour for this to be understood.

So now what to do?  Well there was nothing for it – Young Lad and Lad were made to carry jugs/washing up bowls of water from the pool to the drain over and over and over again.  With three of them on it (for She did join in) this only took a couple of hours.  Or so it seemed.

Eventually there was enough water removed for the three of them to lift one side of the pool and flip it over – please don’t think this was a smooth, swift action – and so the pool was emptied.  In addition the garden was completely flooded.

Really it was just too funny.  They have no idea whatsoever.  The purchase of the oversized paddling pool is now being regretted and some investigation needs to be made into a more efficient method of emptying the bldy thing.  I’ll be very surprised if the pool sees the light of day again, regardless of how bldy hot it gets.

Young Lad is asleep on the sofa, as he is completely exhausted.  Partly this is due the pool-emptying fiasco of last night, but today Young Lad played in a Staff v Pupils cricket match after school for nearly three hours.  The pupils won, which is worrying.  Being Wednesday, we really should be at cricket training this evening but Young Lad was nearly asleep when he returned home from his school match, so the idea was knocked on the head.  Disappointing.

It’s very peaceful, what with Young Lad asleep on the sofa and the sound of blackbirds chirping in the evening garden through the open French doors.  If they turned off 24 Hours in A&E it would be even more peaceful –  the beeping! It drives me mad.  So does the silly dramatic music.

I’ve had two lovely days with dear, dear Pippa and we had such fun.  Yesterday I rolled in fox poo so Pippa’s Pack Leader had to bath me before I went home. Today i didn’t roll in anything but I still had a nice day.  I didn’t knock any bins over or anything at dear Pippa’s house.

Pippa’s Pack Leader and Ebony’s Pack Leader have both said that I would be much better behaved if I had a companion, and that She ought to get another dog for me.  I think the phrase was over my dead body.

Lad has been busy catching up with schoolwork as usual, and thinking of money-making schemes.  I feel Lad should be praised far more for the latter than he is, and I can see quite well why he doesn’t want to do shifts at Nandos – though I think I would quite enjoy this.

I’m so exhausted that I have been lying upside down in my chair waving my paws tonight.  I need to find the energy for a day at Ebony’s house tomorrow – usually I sleep a lot there, but it’s still exhausting.

See you soon,




Stop Thief!

picnicOver the weekend, Readers, the weather was lovely and lots of families decided to go for walks down at the river.  How wonderful to see happy gatherings of various clans out in the sunshine – some on bikes, some on scooters, some walking their dogs.  But BEST of all was the rather clueless family who decided to have a picnic quite close to the path, and round  a bend.  I had run ahead away from my Pack Leader, and disappeared behind a bush on the big bend of the path.  I couldn’t be seen.  I could be heard though – well, it wasn’t me that could be heard but the raised voices and alarmed tone.

By the time She arrived panting round the corner, I had ploughed through the picnicking family, grabbing  a piece of bread and a few cherry tomatoes as I ran.  It was very funny.  The small child started squealing and the adults didn’t really know what had hit them.  I was very pleased with myself and I feel that the family have learned a timely lesson about choosing one’s picnic spot  more carefully.

Naturally I was shouted at and put back on the lead.

It was extremely noisy at my house on Saturday afternoon.  Young Lad brought round four of his friends – yes, including Detention Friend – and they spent the entire afternoon racketing round the house and garden with those silly Nerf guns, or throwing themselves into the new  over-sized paddling pool. Really it was too much and I was jolly glad when they all went home.  There is only so much noise Gingercat and I can put up with.

Lad was in a town far away seeing his friends, lucky him.

Yesterday Young Lad had an early cricket match so there was no chance of a lie-in.  This was very annoying,  And did they take me with them to cricket? No they did not.  Apparently She was “on  teas” and He was umpiring the match, so there wouldn’t have been anyone to walk me round the boundary for two hours.  It does make me cross, Readers – and I know for a fact that there were loads of crisps over the clubhouse floor that I could have cleaned up for them.  But they won’t be told. So I had to stay at home with Lad all morning.

I was then taken out for a nice walk in the afternoon – an extra long one up round Top Field which is still really badly overgrown. If someone doesn’t get up there and cut it soon I could get very lost. This is worrying.

Today it has been back to normal and everyone has been at work or school.  I sat on the bottom stair at 7.30am and waited very patiently for Ebony’s Pack Leader to come and collect me.   I was SO excited when she came to the door, and couldn’t wait to get out of the house.      I had a lovely day at Ebony’s house.  Tomorrow it’s Pippa’s turn!  I’m lucky to have such  fabulous friends.

Young Lad is very, very tired tonight and had fallen asleep on the sofa halfway through 24 Hours in A&E.   Pack Leader won’t be far behind and I suspect this will be a short blog tonight.  Honestly there is just no stamina in my house.

Well the new over-sized paddling pool has been interesting.  It’s been used on two occasions for its intended purpose, ie sitting in it and cooling down, and other than that Gingercat has stood up on his hind legs looking at his reflection.  He isn’t very bright.  I’ve had the odd drink from it, and now it has leaves and small apples from the tree bobbing about on the surface.  I don’t think this was thought through very well.  Nothing ever is round here.

It’s very peaceful here tonight.  Lad has gone to the gym, Young Lad has fallen asleep and all that can be heard are my gentle snores. Bliss.

So next time you sit down in a public grassy area to have a picnic, Friends, just think on and consider where you are sitting.  Is it in a blind spot for dogs and their walkers?  Remember; not too near the path, and not on a bend.  Otherwise you might be losing your cherry tomatoes too.

Golly I’m tired.

See you soon,





One hundred and eighty!

dartboardI know, I know – you’ve been worried sick about me and have wondered where on earth I have been.  Well, someone has been away for work for a few days and therefore there has been nobody here to help me write my blog.  I do apologise – this happens at around the same time every year and I find it tiresome.

Anyway I’m back, and you can sit back and enjoy my blog once more.

It’s been a nice week in lots of ways, as I’ve spent  most of it with dear, dear Ebony and Pippa so have had plenty of walks, affection and sleep.  More so than I get at home.  The plan had been that Lad and Young Lad would be at school all week, hence the need for me to go to daycare, but as soon as She left the house at silly o’clock on Monday morning, Lad developed  a bad headache and couldn’t go to school and Young Lad decided  he didn’t feel quite up to it either.  Young Lad was threatened with  a lot of things via text message, if he didn’t go to school so he eventually capitulated but did hold out for quite a while.  Lad was not for turning.

Thankfully Lad recovered enough to cook dinner for everyone in the evening and generally did a good job of making sure none of us starved. 

She came home late last night once everyone was in bed, and I have to say I was over the moon to see her.  I even got up out of bed, which is very unusual for me and raced down the stairs to see her, sliding all over the wooden hall floor, whinnying like a horse and making silly noises.  Really,  I was very very happy to have Pack Leader home and I feel everything is back to normal now. 

This morning She took Lad to the station and then Young Lad to school, after which there was a need to ‘pop into town’.  During the hour that this took, I had a good look around and opened a few cupboards – I haven’t done this for a while.  I found a bag containing various things for birthday parties – silly glasses, banners etc – so I dragged that into the lounge and ripped up the bag.  Blow me down, what else was in there than something that looked like a dead hamster.  I’ve been assured it is some sort of hair decoration but really it looks like one of those long-haired guinea pig things.  I chucked it on the carpet.

I was moaned at when She came back, but then we went for a walk which was nice if a trifle hot.  Most responsible dog owners take their dogs out at dawn on these hot summer days, because 9.30am really isn’t “early”, is it, and it was well over 20 degrees by then.  I needed a lengthy paddle in the river.

After that I chilled out in my armchair or the garden for the rest of the day, while industrial sized mountains of washing were done, and the house scrubbed from top to bottom. The noise! All those electric machines.  How irritating.

It happens to be Young Lad’s birthday today, so there was also some baking this morning and a new recipe for a chocolate fudge cake was tried out. It smelled nice. I kept my eye on it carefully but it was pushed to the back of the work surface.

Then when Young Lad came home from school, there were a few presents for him to open and lots of cards. I watched this carefully too, in case there was anything to eat. There wasn’t.  However, Young Lad was very excited to find a proper dartboard amongst the presents, and when they all went out to dinner I ripped up the box the dartboard came in all over the lounge floor.  They should have left me something to eat. 

Young Lad has also been given a very large plastic pool thing for the garden, which has been filled with water this afternoon. I think the idea is that you sit in it on a hot sunny day .  I intend to try this out at some point, but am rather concerned about how deep it is – somewhat selfishly they have put far too much water in and I don’t think my safety can be guaranteed.  Anyway Young Lad wanted to try the pool out tonight  and She rather gallantly agreed to join him – Lad had gone to the gym by this point and He didn’t fancy the idea – so Young Lad and She stood in the pool in their swimming costumes and shivered.  After about an hour and a half they managed to get in as far as their knees, then very bravely sat down.  They got out again quite quickly. I think some lessons have been learned about the ratio of warm water to cold.

Everyone is hoping for a lie-in tomorrow as it has been a very tiring week.  I will need my comfort break at around 5am but should get another three hours’ sleep in after that.

It’s good to be back with you, Friends, and I do apologise for the absence.

See you soon,




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