Today’s march through Top Field, Readers, was to the rhythm of “Easter Jubilation.” I doubt many of you know this jaunty hymn, as it is probably a Modern Trendy Easter song that your primary school didn’t use way back in the day. (Unless you went to one of those progressive schools in the 1970s, where the teachers wore jeans and you sang a Groovy Rock version of The Lord’s Prayer in assembly.) Anyway, I was glad there was no singing aloud of this seasonal song, and actually that hasn’t happened since the awful incident of the Carpenters that day, so hopefully it was a one-off. If She starts singing Trendy Hymns aloud on our walks, I am definitely leaving home.
Readers, there has been so much rain that the river has Burst Its Banks. Parts of the fields were flooded , and a tricky time was had negotiating it all. More of that later – our walk started well today, as we immediately bumped into a Young Pug called Gus. Now, I hadn’t met Gus before and I did find him somewhat intimidating to start with; it was the commanding way he stood in the middle of the path and wouldn’t let me past. I stood uncertainly for a while, hopping from foot to foot, as I was
bldy scared unsure what to do, and yelling Ohforgod’s sakemanupRussell! didn’t help. Eventually I took my chances and inched past Gus the Pug. He chased me and I ran for my life. But the good thing was that Gus was distracted by the smell of smoky ham in the “treat” bag in her pocket, and jumped all over her jeans with his filthy Pug paws. She laughed and said don’t worry theyweredirtyanyway to the apologetic Pug owner, but they weren’t. They were clean on, which is just plain stupid when going for a dog walk. This is Poor Planning. So Gus the Pug plastered her legs in mud, which was funny. Further on, we met Mollie the staffie and her Pack Leader. They have a new dog with them these days, Friends, and it’s Rather Lively. There was the usual dull discussion of how badly behaved we all are, and how they wouldn’t be without us, blah blah blah. Eventually we trekked on over the bridge and into Top Field, where I failed to find any cack in which to roll. Disappointing and unusual. Coming back along the path, we met the Nice Lady with the Long Hair and brown labrador. (Why are there so many brown labradors everywhere? I fail to see the attraction.) Nice Lady with the Long Hair stopped for a chat and said she now reads my blog – has she really got nothing better to do? It does worry me. But it’s nice of her, thank you.
In this diagram, Readers, you can see what I mean about the Burst Banks of the River. You can clearly see me thinking about how I am going to get across this part of the field. I’m not one of those dogs that throws themselves into water (that’ll be the brown labradors), and I really had to consider my options at this point of our walk.
In this diagram, Friends, you can see that I have worked out my route across the flooded field, and am stopping for a drink en route. I was shouted at for this, as there is some thought that this floodwater might not be very hygienic in the drains/sewage side of things. For Goodness’ Sake. We walked briskly for three miles through the sodden fields and mud, as there is a need for upping the Exercise Quotient at the moment. Three little words, Readers. Hot. Cross. Buns.
Yesterday She went for a coffee with Lovelydor down the road and they even splashed out on some toast and a bacon roll. I would have liked either of these options, but wasn’t invited. He took me for a lovely walk in the morning, without any of the nagging and shouting at me, and it was at a much more sensible pace. Then we had a Quiet Day at home as it rained incessantly, until of course She decided I needed another walk and dragged me out again in the pouring rain. (Exercise Quotient issues). Well, Young Lad, He and I had tried to have a quiet day at home, which wasn’t easy with the Frantic Cleaning going on. Lad was away staying with friends, after the Party of the Night Before. He had a very nice time, and they went to bed early as they were so tired, at 2am. Poor Lad. Lad decided he needed picking up from his friend’s house in the evening, to which there was some huffing and puffing as it is a 40 minute drive each way. On the way home, though, Fish and Chips was bought for tea, as this is traditional on Good Friday. Fish and Chips definitely makes Friday Good, if you ask me. Not that anyone does. I whined and begged, and eventually had a couple of small chips. Generous, aren’t they. Young Lad did very little yesterday. Well, it was raining. Today, though, Young Lad has been out! Yes, after resting sensibly yesterday, he had the energy today to Hang Out with his friends in town. For an hour and a half. That’s 90 minutes. Well, it was raining again and it’s much nicer on the sofa on days like these. Plus he had put the shopping away earlier, so that counts as a busy day for Young Lad.
I wasn’t very popular this morning, Readers. I had a little problem with my digestion and was making some shocking smells again. The lounge stunk. I don’t know what I’ve eaten this time- it’s a mystery to me. It seems to be a little better tonight, and there is no need for all the Yankee Candles to be lit.
There has been lots of baking going on today, and the kitchen is in its usual state. Shortbread smells divine when it’s in the oven, and I did manage to clear up some crumbs from the floor. Dear, dear Ebony has been helping out on the baking front today, as well. Her Pack Leader made a nice carrot cake, and turned her back for a second, which it is never wise to do near Ebony.
This diagram clearly shows why you shouldn’t leave a carrot cake on the work surface, and turn your back. Ebony was simply checking the consistency for her Pack Leader, and making sure the texture was spot on. It was. Now they only have half a carrot cake for Easter Sunday tomorrow. Ebony was shouted at, Readers. Poor Ebony.
Lad has been revising all day today, and is now firmly attached to the Xbox for the evening. There has been a discussion about some Family Time tomorrow, it being Easter Sunday, though She has thought better of suggesting Church to Lad and Young Lad, knowing that this won’t go down well. Instead, Readers, I have heard the words HartyFartyForest for a family dog walk! I couldn’t believe my ears – I haven’t been taken back there since I chased that stag for twenty minutes! Oh please, please take me to HartyFartyForest tomorrow – there are loads of cow pats, fox poo, and stags!! What a wonderful idea. I will let you know how it goes.
Joyeuses Paques to my new French Readership, and Happy Easter to the rest of you.
See you soon,