The other night, Readers, I ate six pieces of chocolate fridge cake. For those of you that don’t know, chocolate fridge cake is made from butter, plain chocolate, cream, biscuits and raisins. None of these ingredients are good for me. All of these ingredients are delicious. How on earth did this come about, I hear you ask, in a puzzled how-could-his-owners-be-so-irresponsible sort of way. Well. Young Lad and Detention Friend were playing on the Xbox before they went to their cricket match, and they were given a plate of chocolate fridge cake as some sort of highly calorific energy boost.
Alas, Young Lad and Detention Friend decided to go out in the garden and kick a football around, but forgot the plate of chocolate fridge cake which was on the table. Within seconds it had gone. It barely touched the sides and the jury is out as to whether I actually tasted it or not. I was screamed at and made to sit in my chair.
Now, before you all become emotional that I wasn’t rushed out to the vet, they were very small pieces of chocolate fridge cake. Bite-size, I would go so far as to say. So the actual quantity of cream, butter, chocolate and raisins that I ingested was nowhere near as much as the triple-layer 10 inch chocolate birthday cake from two years ago, or even the eleven mini-mince pies on Christmas Eve. Thus nobody cared enough to take me to the vet, and instead I was moaned at for the rest of the evening and not allowed to go to cricket in case I had an upset stomach on the boundary.
I didn’t have an upset stomach. Just a bit of wind. I have the constitution of an ox.
Anyway, it really was delicious and I was quite pleased with myself. I haven’t stolen much lately, in all honesty, so it was about time I had a treat.
I haven’t added to my blog for several days, and I do apologise for this. It is very poor and simply down to bad time-management. I will do my best to write a bumper edition for you this evening.
There was an amusing moment in the garden yesterday, when She rooted around in the shed and dragged out a very old sun-lounger, circa 1970. It is a cheap folded-up, flat thing that you have to open out carefully and then lie on a piece of canvas. After battling with the metal frame for a while, She was smugly pleased that the sun-lounger was assembled and ready to go, and went back inside to make a cup of tea. Lo and behold, on returning to the garden ten minutes later, imagine the reaction on finding both Gingercat and I stretched out on the sun-lounger. It was very kind for someone to provide us with somewhere to sleep, as an alternative to lying on the grass.
The weather has been very pleasant the last few days, though of course there is a lot of complaining about the bldy pollen count and bldy hayfever, but you just can’t please some people. I’ve tended to have my walks in the early evening, when it is a little cooler and very beautiful at the river. Tonight there were loads of dogs down there and I had a good play with a young collie, which is very unlike me. I also waded into the river right up to my tummy, which is also unlike me, but I was very hot and needed a cool down. I was rather hoping to see my dear friend Pippa, as I haven’t seen her for AGES, but we didn’t time my walk to coincide with hers. This was disappointing.
When I returned home after my walk yesterday evening, I had such a lovely surprise. Who was in my house, but Grandma! I haven’t see her for a while and it was simply marvellous to find her in my own lounge. I immediately asked her to stay for dinner, as I have excellent manners, and we all sat in the garden eating pasta bianco (Jamie Oliver yet again) and salad. Really it was lovely and I felt quite content. I would have been a little more content if anyone had given me any pasta bianco but there you go.
Young Lad and Detention Friend enjoyed the cricket match the other night, and their team scored over 100 runs which is much better than usual. The other team scored quite a few more but that’s not the point. Sadly Young Lad had to retire through injury as he was wicket-keeper, and even I know that you don’t try to stop a hard cricket ball travelling at speed with your foot – Young Lad has learned this the hard way. There was a lot of limping and fussing, and some ice was required. Lots of other parents attended to poor Young Lad’s injury as She was sitting on the furthest corner of the field where the last rays of sun were shining, and so was absolutely nowhere near the action. Luckily He was a little nearer and a little quicker off the mark to carry injured Young Lad into the clubhouse.
I had a nice quiet day on Wednesday – it was just Lad and Young Lad here with me, and we had a peaceful time of either sleeping in our armchairs, playing on the Xbox or revising A Level Philosophy. Regular Readers will be able to work out who was doing which activity. She had gone to meet friends for lunch and then paid the price for such frivolity with a BLDY 3 HOUR journey on the BLDY M25 to get home again. Serves her right. There are Thai restaurants far closer than this if one wants King Prawn noodles with old friends, and it was a ridiculous decision. By rights there should have been a swift turnaround on She’s return to get Young Lad out to cricket practice, but it started raining and was cancelled. This means I missed out on two evenings walking round a cricket pitch and it’s upsetting.
Lad has been working hard ALL week and it worries me to see him revising so much. It is no fun being Lad’s age at all, unless you go to see your friends in a town far away, and he hasn’t even done that much lately! Poor Lad. I will be very glad when these silly exams are out the way and our house can be rediscovered under the piles of notes and index cards covering every flat surface. Occasionally I try to help him by climbing on top of the piles of notes next to him on the sofa, and he seems to appreciate this. Another thing I do to help is find an old bone of mine, buried deep in my toy box, and then lie on the carpet near him grinding it in my teeth. This creates a very relaxed atmosphere for him.
Readers, have you noticed any spiders in your house recently? We’ve had two of the wretches in the last week – normally the annual spider assault doesn’t start until August/September so I have no idea what they think they are doing coming in so early. The other night one sprinted over the cushion next to where She was sitting – that one was of the more brown house spider variety – whilst a jet black albeit smaller one wandered across the bedroom floor. Out comes a glass and a piece of card to “humanely” catch the spiders and chuck them over the fence at the back of the garden. Particularly big ones have to be thrown in the drain over the road. Anyway, spiders don’t bother me and in fact I find them quite boring, but therein lies the problem. I end up being moaned at for my lack of cooperation in catching them. Gingercat can’t be bothered either. To be honest if the house was cleaned a little more often – and I mean in the corners and under the furniture rather than a token shove of the hoover over the middle of the carpet – there would be less attraction here for pests.
Well, I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend for once with no sporting fixtures. It should by rights by Slovenly Pizza night tonight, but as Young Lad and Detention Friend went to McDonalds for lunch (there was a heated argument over the merits of Burger King compared to McDonalds, but price was the deciding matter) it was decided that pizza was not appropriate for dinner tonight. Young Lad had beans on toast instead, whilst She had grilled tuna steak and salad. Personally I think pizza would have been a better option all round, and I think I’ve just heard Lad put an American Hot in the oven. I don’t blame him.
Told you it would be a bumper edition!
Bye for now,