I have learned, Friends, that you have to grab opportunities whenever they arise and grab them fast. Today She gave Young Lad and his friend a lift into town which took five minutes. I had five minutes in which to tip the bin over, pull loads of the stuff out and drag it into the lounge. By minute 6 when She returned, I was under the dining room table eating a red pepper stalk and dropping the seeds everywhere, plus I had licked clean the polystyrene pizza trays from last night. I had chucked these on the lounge floor. Which had just been hoovered.
I know what you’re thinking. There should never have been a red pepper stalk in the rubbish bin as it should have been in the food recycling bin. Their lackadaisical approach to the environment bothers me too.
Here I am looking very sorry for having emptied the bin and trashed the place in five minutes. Only I’m not sorry at all.
Yesterday was fun as I went to dear, dear Pippa’s house for daycare. We had a couple of very long walks and I spent the rest of the day asleep in a nice armchair except when anyone went to the kitchen to prepare food, and I managed to rouse at these moments to go and beg at the kitchen counter.
There has been some tidying up here today, or bldytidying up as it is known. My toys have all been put in the basket nicely along with lots of old bones. I had a good trip down memory lane looking at the old toys that I never use. Young Lad threw a stuffed rabbit up and down the lounge a few times and I ran after it once, but really it was quite dull and what’s the point? I was quite pleased to find an old lion and Iggle Piggle, whose heads I had ripped off in my more energetic days.
Last night of course it was a Boys’ Night In, as She and Loadsakids went to sit in a dark corner of the cinema and cry again. This is the second film in a month that has caused some snivelling. It beggars belief, Readers – why don’t they choose something uplifting and light-hearted for once? It might lighten the endlessly morose atmosphere here. Anyway it was a pleasant evening, as I slept soundly in my chair after tea, Lad shouted happily on the Xbox in the other room whilst enjoying a bottle of ginger beer (I think it was ginger), and Young Lad had a bar of Dairy Milk and a can of sugar-free fizzy rubbish. He, of course, had a nice bottle of red and they were all very happy with their Friday night treats. I had not been bought any treats. It doesn’t seem to occur to anyway that surviving another week in this family is quite an achievement for me as well.
Something of a lie-in this morning, Friends – and how I needed it. I was heavily asleep on Young Lad’s bed and it was a jolly good job that he slept in a bit as well. The only person who rose early was He, as His car was making a dodgy noise yesterday and He had to take it to the garage at silly o’clock. Thankfully I slept through the noise of Him getting up.
My walk was a little late today, and we didn’t head out until two o’clock because She had to clean up all the mess from where I’d knocked the bin over and raided it. Once out, the mood improved as it was a beautiful day and it’s very hard to be cross when you see Mother Nature in all her autumn wonder. That was, until we went over the bridge by the river, from where we could hear the nasally whine of nasty BMX bikes. Sure enough, up in Top Field were some hideous quad bike things with loathsome teenagers on them – really it was terrifying as they were wearing dark helmets. She was highly irritated as our quiet, peaceful walk was now being ruined by the selfishness of these individuals who wanted to screech round Top Field. Plus someone’s pelvic floor wasn’t doing too well but there was no chance of popping into the bushes in case a quad bike came roaring by.
Disappointingly I didn’t see any of my friends at the river today – we were VERY late going out, don’t forget – but on the way back up the alley I did bump into Oscar the Border Terrier. Oscar jumped up at her legs and She said ‘oh look, Oscar hasn’t made me muddy today,’ and they all laughed, but when we got home She found out that Oscar had in fact left lots on mud on her jeans, low down. Oscar can be relied on for this and it does make me laugh.
Lad made a surprise appearance slightly before lunch today, and went out. He is still out. There has been some snippy text messaging to Lad, to ascertain when he is bldy likely to be home as we’re not bldy mind-readers and does he want any bldy dinner or not. Lad says he’ll be home in a bit. This narrows it down a lot.
A large food shop was done again this morning, Friends, and I sat in the middle of the kitchen whilst Young Lad put everything away. This way I can be sure of what is in which cupboard, in case I need to look for snacks during the week. Young Lad had to keep trying to get round me as I was blocking his way, but I refused to budge as I had such a good view of every cupboard and the fridge from my position. You’ll be pleased to know that this week Young Lad’s only putting-the-food-shopping-away error was to store the fresh spinach and ricotta pasta parcels in the cupboard with the tins and dried pasta. It has been pointed out to Young Lad that these should go in the fridge and could he not feel that the package was bldy cold? At least, this is the only putting-the-food-shopping-away error that they’ve found so far.
At one point today She thought about walking me into town, as it was the big Christmas Light Switch On this afternoon and there was a brief notion that standing amongst the crowds by the artisan bakery stalls with an appealing beagle would be atmospheric. However She decided to leave me at home, and the text messages between herself and Loadsakids read “bldy elves everywhere”, “stuff this going home” so I don’t really think the right atmosphere was achieved.
Well I’m quite worn out from the trauma of the quadbikes spoiling my walk today, so need to get my head down.
Bye for now,
Russell
BoredBeagle 