Manners

20180818_182759 Just look how nicely I am sitting, as I beg for food from Sausage Sue at the river this morning.  I am making eye contact with her – well, the bag containing the treats – and sitting up very straight.  What wonderful manners.  Unfortunately Sausage Sue didn’t seem to get the message, so I had to bark and stamp my feet, and finally jump up at her to make things clearer.  There will be more about Sausage Sue later; we’ve bumped into each other a lot over the last couple of days.

In my last blog I said that it was raining, so hopefully I wouldn’t be dragged out for a second walk that day.  It stopped raining, and I was.  However this turned out to be quite interesting as we went to deliver a) some flowers to a neighbour who’s had a tricky time,  b) some bread pudding to Ebony’s Pack Leader Male for helping us to fix our broken door lock and c) a well done card to a friend who has excelled in her exams.  Now, on the way down to the last of these I found a wide assortment of dead and decaying animal life.  There were two flattened rats decomposing on the entrance to a car park.  I was pulled swiftly away.  There were two, yes two, large birds decaying in the bushes near the car park.  I was told I’d had enough dead bird for the foreseeable future.  Finally there was something unidentifiable a little further on that I did my best to reach, but was yanked back.  Goodness knows what’s been going on down that road, but it clearly isn’t safe for wildlife.

Yesterday I had a lovely walk in the morning, and felt quite content with that for the day.  But no, I was dragged out of my chair after lunch and told we were going to visit Sicknote.  Now normally I rather enjoy this, as Sicknote has a tin with Chedigree Plum treats in it, and I know exactly where she keeps it, plus I like wandering around with her older dog, trying to ignore the irritating puppy. Today was different, however.  For a start, Lad came with us.  This is highly unusual and I wondered what on earth was going on. The young puppy has grown rather a lot but is still very irritating as she constantly demands that I play with her.  I have no idea how to play and don’t intend learning now.  Normally I can rise above these things, but I was so out of sorts what with being abandoned for three weeks, and then Lad making a change to normal routine, that I couldn’t cope and became clinically depressed for the hour and a half that we were there.  There was lots of moaning at me to “be nice to the puppy” and all that sort of nonsense, but to no avail.  I refused to speak to or interact with anyone, human or canine, and sat in a corner looking glum.

Lad, on the other hand, had a lovely time discussing with Sicknote all that is wrong with Wet Sham and what sort of mistakes the management of the club are making.  This was very tedious and went on for ages.  I’m glad Lad knows so much about these things.  On this point, Readers, I’m quite pleased to hear that while they were on their Amazing Trip, there was no escape from the Dinnertime Debates and the Trump administration, Wet Sham management and whether the moon landing was faked were all subjects of discussion.  

In case you’re worried about where poor Young Lad was during all this yesterday, in a rare burst of energy he was “hanging out” with a friend down the road for the afternoon, which even stretched to walking into town and catching a bus to somewhere else for lunch!  Then they had to walk back!  Young Lad was very tired in the evening.

During my morning walk yesterday, we had bumped into Sausage Sue who always carries a little pouch with meat-based snacks in it for her dogs.  Sausage Sue was very kind and gave me a snack, as I sat so beautifully.  Then in the evening, we saw her again!  Sausage Sue was far over the other side of the field, but my eyesight is excellent and I recognised her even in the dusk. I pulled and pulled on my lead, trying to get over to her for another snack, but was rather unkindly steered in the opposite direction.

This morning we did a very long walk and went over the bridge into Top Field.  Now, we haven’t been there for a long time because of the people who had some sort of caravanning holiday there, with their large shiny caravans, big white Transit vans and loads of dogs.  She decided by now that the Top Field should be ok for walking in, and anything these caravanners had left behind should have been washed away, so we risked it.  Blow me down, who was in Top Field?  Sausage Sue!  I followed her at her heels and sat very, very nicely but my Pack Leader said “no, you are NOT begging for food again, bad dog” and so Sausage Sue didn’t give me anything even when I threw myself at her.

On the way to the river we had met Oscar the Border Terrier, who always jumps up at her and plasters her legs in mud.  This is very funny.  But today it was rather trying for Oscar and I, as our Pack Leaders stood on the path discussing Amazing Trips and Long Haul this that and the other for what seemed like forever.  They appeared to have forgotten we were out for a walk.

Today has been lovely, Readers, as Lad has been home all day.  He was given a very long list of jobs on a piece of paper, and has been promised payment when they are done, and done to a high standard.  Lad has worked very hard in the garden and been ordered to do jobs that nobody else wants to do, such as tidy out the drawer with all the random phone leads/chargers/plugs/headphones/Nintendo Wii accessories/scart leads and anything else electrical that has been chucked in there over the last ten years.  Some of the items could go into a museum, they’re that old.  What a horrid job, poor Lad.

He has been home all day too, which has been nice.  Young Lad and He went to the cinema to watch a film about a pretend shark.  There’s no accounting for taste.

She had to do an enormous ruddy food shop, and met LovelyDor down the road for lunch, as LovelyDor had looked after Gingercat whilst they were away.  You see what I mean?  We are just abandoned on a whim, and other people are expected to step up and take responsibility.  It beggars belief.

Well, it’s Saturday night and I can hear the familiar chink and fizz of an ice cube combining with Gordon.  Young Lad and Lad will have some treats in the way of chocolate, no doubt, and He has a nice bottle of Claret open.  What have I got? You’re right.  Zilch.

I’m thinking of sending a copy of my book to Meghan Markle, so that she hears about my plight.  What do you think?

See you soon,

Russell

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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