Well, wonders will never cease. They have finally purchased a new bottle of dog shampoo for me, and it is not the Value range. It smells lovely and was bldyexpensive. I’ve had a bath today and my coat is glossy and perfumed. More of that later.
Yesterday I was pushed into the boot of the car, and driven a long way to visit Nana aged 87. Really this is too much on top of being abandoned for three weeks and then taken to visit Sicknote – am I never to relax in my own home? Young Lad and Lad were told we were leaving early in case the traffic was bad, and this pleased Lad greatly. There was some grumpiness in the car, which Young Lad dealt with by going to sleep, and so did I. In actual fact the traffic wasn’t bad apart from one “idiot” on the M25 who drove across two lanes for several miles so that nobody could get past on either side. Luckily Young Lad woke up and put the 1970s CD on, to improve the mood. I didn’t particularly enjoy the loud singing of Blame It On The Boogie and neither did Lad.
I was very excited to arrive at Nana aged 87’s, and raced up her front steps and through the front door, completely ignoring Nana aged 87 and running to the kitchen to see if the cat food bowl was down. It wasn’t. This was disappointing and I do wish Nana aged 87 wouldn’t pick it up before I get there.
There was then yet another Family Lunch, which was attended by Funnygit her brother, his very lovely wife and one of the Cousins. Funnygit was hilarious as usual and called me Rothmans and I nearly split my sides laughing. I tried to cadge some food from the lunch table but everyone was talking such a lot that they ignored me. This was hurtful.
Readers, I couldn’t believe what they did after lunch. The dreariness of it! She produced her laptop and they all sat huddled around looking at photos of the Amazing Trip. Dear God. It was interminable and I really couldn’t see the point. Everyone was too polite to tell Pack Leader it was boring, and they all sat there nodding and saying “wow” every so often in the right place. It was awful. I decided to show what I thought about all this by scooting my bottom along Nana aged 87’s carpet. Several times.
Later in the afternoon it was decided that we needed some fresh air and exercise, so Lad, Young Lad and I were dragged out for a long walk. It was quite nice actually as we went through some woodland and there were loads of great smells. There was also a takeway chip box with a small chip left in it. Not for long.
Lad and Young Lad had brought the football with them and were looking forward to shooting in goal once in the park. Unfortunately, after the long walk through the woods it was discovered that the goalposts had been taken down which was obviously upsetting for Lad and Young Lad. Making a goal from two hoodies is not the same, apparently, and Lad says it is PATHETIC that the local council take the goalposts down, and WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM? He said quite a lot more, too. It was decided we were all quite weary, so began the long walk back.
I slept soundly on the sofa all evening, snoring loudly. There wasn’t much room for Young Lad and She on here as well, but I was fine.
I was quite cross this morning to be woken up well before 8am, by the sound of heavy duty drilling in the garden. A man had arrived to put up some new fence panels for Nana aged 87, and I know for a fact that it is against the law to use a heavy duty drill before 8am. I made it 7:43 and he was bang out of order. I barked a lot at him and made it clear that I wasn’t pleased. He did a very good job of the fence and tried to make a fuss of me, but that isn’t the point.
Now, Lad was supposed to be spending the day doing jobs for Nana aged 87 to earn some money, so he was told to get up before lunchtime and bldy well get on with it. She took me for a lovely long walk in the park early on, while Lad was still thinking about getting up, and I had such a good sniff around. We decided to walk back through the cow field, which is a good, hearty walk that raises the heart rate, but all it did today was hurt my paws as it’s completely overgrown with bastard thistles. I had to walk really slowly, trying to find a path through the ruddy things, and my feet were prickled like nobody’s business. In a rare show of compassion, She noticed my discomfort and we abandoned the cow field in favour of the more normal parkland. However, I felt I needed to show how I felt about being dragged through thistles, so I rolled in some fox poo just before we got back to the car. Thus I had a bath with the new, more expensive shampoo when we got home.
To be fair, Lad has worked hard in the garden today and it looks like Capability Brown has popped round. There has been some question about his work/speed ratio as there have been numerous breaks to look at his phone, but one can’t argue with the standard of his workmanship and I’m very proud of Lad. I have sat in the garden to help him, at times. Young Lad, too, has done a few jobs in the garden and this afternoon he brought two sofa cushions out, lay down and went to sleep. I feel Young Lad had overdone things and I know how he feels. I, too, have needed a lot of naps today.
Hopefully there will be no annyoing workmen with power drills waking me up early tomorrow, and I’ll be able to sleep in. Nana aged 87 says I still seem out of sorts and she’s quite right. I’m exhausted by all the changes to my routine.
Bye for now,