I’m back

s-l300Did you miss me, Readers?  You have been without my musings for four whole nights, which by my reckoning is the longest ever gap.  This includes the selfish long weekend at ParkyCenters earlier in the year, and the many trips to see Nana aged 87.  Four nights without my blog.  Dreadful.  I don’t know what you’ve found to fill the time with, and I can only apologise.

As it happens, I’m a bit irritated at this precise moment.  It is very, very hot again and I need a kip in the leather bean bag, as it is  cool and comfortable.  However, somebody has thoughtlessly chucked a roll of sellotape, a pair of scissors and some wrapping paper in it, all of which are rather uncomfortable to lie upon.  I do wish they would tidy up after themselves, and think about others.  Me, namely.  I have scratched  and pushed the scissors and sellotape to try to get them out of the bean bag, but had to give up with the wrapping paper and just lie on it.  You would expect better treatment than this, considering some people haven’t been here all week.

Yes indeed, She has been away for four days for “work.”  Oh it’s all very well telling me it was exhausting and full-on, but Young Lad and I have been neglected and we really don’t want to hear how tired She is.  Do you know, Readers, that poor Young Lad even had his birthday yesterday and She wasn’t here for it? Appalling.   To be fair, Young Lad didn’t seem bothered as there was a staff v pupil cricket match at his school and he was on the pupil team, which actually was far more fun than having Pack Leader here anyway.  But it’s the principle.  Some parents would move heaven and earth to be at home on their offpsring’s birthdays, but not in this household.  When Pack Leader did finally wander home late last evening, I pretended that I was very pleased to see her as I knew She would be expecting this, so I ran along the wooden floor in the hall doing silly slidey movements, and jumped up to wrap my paws round her neck.  This is always followed by excited whimpering and juvenile noises, which make her feel She was missed.  I also stood up at the windowsill and farted loudly.

Young Lad greeted her in similar fashion, thought without the last bit, and we all had a cuddle on the sofa.  Having been travelling for a long time on a hot day, this wasn’t the freshest of experiences and it might have been considerate to have a quick shower first, but there you go.  Young Lad and I were too polite to say anything.

I felt it was necessary to show my displeasure at having been neglected all week, though, and opted to sleep with Young Lad rather than Pack Leader.  I hope She got the message.  I’m sure Young Lad was pleased about this, as it was a very hot night and having a large furry Beagle lying on top of you all night long is bound to be welcome.

Where was Lad while all this was going on, I hear you ask?  Well, Readers, Lad had held the fort remarkably well while She was away, as He was working long hours again, and so it befell Lad to cook dinners for Young Lad and organise the laundry.  Lad did this with aplomb, and nobody starved or ran out of  school shirts.  Plus, and I know you’ll be surprised at this, I was walked on a regular basis or dropped off at dear, dear Ebony’s house if Lad felt the need to go off socialising.  Last night Lad wasn’t here at all, as he had something called a ‘prom’ which seems to be a posh party for people Lad’s age, for which they dress up in suits or beautiful dresses, to celebrate the end of the bldy GCSEs.  I would have liked to go this prom, as there were chicken kebabs on the buffet, but of course nobody asked me.  I saw some photos of Lad and his friends all dressed up in their suits, and I was really rather proud of him.  I didn’t care that he spoiled the look by wearing bldy black trainers/what did you do that for/everyone else had smart shoes/nobody wears bldy trainers with a bdly suit… but then some people round here are a little over-tired and tetchy today.  Poor Lad.  And to make matters worse, Readers, poor Lad had NO sleep at all last night, as not content with the prom itself, there was then an after-party at someone’s house many, many miles away, and after this Lad and his friends had to sleep in a tent in the field next door.  Only they didn’t go to sleep.  I don’t know what they did, Readers, and She has rather snippily said She’d rather not know, but they were awake all night and poor Lad’s new very expensive white designer t shirt was covered in chocolate by the time he got home.  This was upsetting for him and Lad says Vanish is crap as it didn’t get all the stains out, even on a sixty degree wash.

This evening, He, Lad and Young Lad are all watching the World Cup from the sofa and having a lovely time.  They have all been out to celebrate Young Lad’s birthday – better late then never, I suppose – at Pizza Express, which was Young Lad’s usual choice due to the chocolate fudge cake with cream.  I would like to have tried this, but was left at home.  Apparently Lad was on cracking form over dinner, despite a night without sleep, and yet another lengthy discussion about  the politics of immigration was held.  I would have found this dull, as would most people, and as did poor Young Lad whose birthday dinner it was.  After a while Pack Leader’s tone became quite shrill and short-tempered, so the subject was hastily changed to something less controversial.  He enjoyed a nice glass of house red and a Margherita,  Lad had an American Hot, Young Lad had a Margherita  and She had a Pomodoro Pesto as it has less bldy calories, just in case you were wondering.  I would have liked any of these options, possibly with the exception of the Lite Pomodoro Pesto.  Really, what’s the point?

I feel it is important to stress here, that my behaviour has been exemplary this week.  There have only been very minor incidents, such as eating and rolling in a dead rat when Lad took me down to the river, and you’ll be relieved to know that this passed through me without incident.  Other than that I have enjoyed having Lad’s company for much of the time, as Lad and I enjoy the same things, i.e. sleeping in. Gingercat has been sleeping a lot, too, due to the extreme heat, but is showing signs of neglect as his fur is quite matted again, and needs a lot of brushing.  This is on the list of jobs for tomorrow, at number 437, I believe.

This morning it was rather lovely, I’ll admit, to being out for a walk with Pack Leader again, after all this time.  However, She decided it was too bldy hot even at 9.30am to do the usual ridiculous four mile power walk, and we only went as far as the river and back.  This smacks of laziness and a lack of resilience, but worked in my favour as the stupid starlings had knocked loads of bread off the bird table by the time we returned.

Well, Readers, He finally has a couple of days off work and so tomorrow I am hopeful that we will all have a lie-in. It’s too hot to move, and I will be perfectly happy if nobody bothers to take me out for a walk/

Bye for now,



Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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