Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, Friends. Or at least, round my house. The overnight bag is once again on the bed, being packed. This is not a good sign, and I am absolutely horrified to learn that the overnight bag has turned into a four-day away bag. It has been rammed full to the brim, and frankly I can’t see the zip closing tomorrow once the make-up and heated rollers have gone in at the last minute. It transpires that She is going away on a work trip tomorrow morning, and won’t be back for four whole days. Apart from being utterly selfish, this also means that there will be no blog, Readers, until Friday at the earliest! I know! You have NEVER had to go this long without my words of an evening, since I started this nonsense last November! But such is the self-centred attitude around here. I can only apologise.
It’s been a funny old day. He played cricket this afternoon, but I wasn’t taken down to watch as it was ridiculously hot. She and Young Lad went down to watch but didn’t stay long due to the heat and loads of bldy things to do. These seemed to involve writing a lot of lists for Lad, Young Lad and He while they are home alone this week, and the kitchen has been plastered with timetables and instructions. I mean, how hard can it be? There is even a typed note on Young Lad’s wardrobe door that says simply “DEODORANT!!”. It’s a bit late in the day to try being an organised and efficient household.
Lovelyneighbourontheright’s cockapoo puppy came round this morning, but didn’t jump on my head as much as it was just too darned hot. I was scolded for lying on the blue plastic Slip n Slide in the middle of the day, as the temperature of this piece of plastic was about forty degrees, so I was told to stop being so silly and sent indoors. I did venture back out when a half-hearted attempt at a barbecue was made, as this consisted of four juicy beef burgers and a piece of salmon, to replace the rather dry sawdust-like Linda MaCartney veggie sausages from last week. In all honesty the salmon didn’t fare a lot better as it stuck to the grill quite badly, so there is lots of charred flesh hanging around.
We did all manage a bit of a lie-in for once, and even I managed to postpone my comfort break until 7am. It being Sunday, He buried himself in the Torygraph, Young Lad was attached to the Xbox and Lad stayed in bed. She ‘popped into town’ as the air conditioning is marvellous in Costalotta, and it’s a good place to reflect on a Sunday. Or any other day, actually. (Yesterday She and Lovelydor down the road went to sit in a different Costalotta to take advantage of their air conditioning).
Readers, we had to leave our walk quite late this evening as it just hasn’t cooled down much. The man camping under the willow tree annoyed me, actually, because I’m darned sure he was sitting in his camping chair while I was still quite a way off, but had disappeared by the time I reached his tent. I suspect this was deliberate as he knew I’d be looking for food. I had no choice but to bounce up to a very small little girl, who had something in her hand, in case it was a snack. It wasn’t. I did find a couple of revolting things to eat, down by the river bank, and even I’m not entirely sure what they were. Being so hot, I went in for a deep paddle a couple of times, and the stagnancy of the water hasn’t improved since yesterday, so I reek again. I don’t care.
I’ve been ever so peckish today, and asked for meals about fifteen times. One breakfast just wasn’t enough so I barked and whinged until I was given another one. Then I asked for lunch by mid-morning and kept this up until 2pm when She said oh for god’s sake! and gave me some more food. Then it was dinner time at 4pm. You should try this, Readers, it’s fun.
Well, words fail me. There will be no blog until Friday at the absolute earliest and I am left here to fend for myself, as is Young Lad and Lad. Thank goodness there’s a big stock of fish fingers in the freezer, and some ready meals.
I hope this time passes quickly for you, Friends, and I will be back soon.