IMG_20180421_152745_862 In this diagram, you can see me looking very happy, Readers.  This doesn’t happen often, so have a good look.  The reason I’m so content here is that I’m actually lying in front of the football goal in the garden.  This has stopped Lad and Young Lad playing football, and I found it very amusing.  In another rare show of bonhomie and brotherly love, they had been playing football very cheerfully, until I decided to lie down in the way.  I would not be moved, Friends.  Young Lad stood around assessing the problem and doing nothing about it, whilst Lad tried to cajole me gently out of the way. I growled at him and he backed off.  Then She put her foot firmly under my backside and pushed hard, shouting, “MOVE.”  I did move, but with  plenty of growling and snapping to show who is really in charge.  It had been great fun up till then.

The football goal has seen better days, like everything else in this house. Yesterday, I kid you not,  I saw an attempt made to make the supporting strut straighten up with…………sellotape. Remember the food cupboard in the kitchen, and the velcro strips?  (Yep, they’re still on there.)  Readers, how likely is it that a piece of sellotape is going to hold together a large goal? I despair. I don’t know why they bother with the football goal anyway – as soon as they bought it a couple of years ago, I chewed holes in the net.  It was very funny, as when the holes were discovered, there was Outrage that this was a Faulty Product, and a snotty phone call was made to the goal company, who had to send a replacement net.  It was only when the second net was put on, and holes discovered the next day, that anyone realised it was me chewing the holes.  But did they phone the goal company and apologise for their stern tone the previous week?  Of course not.  So the current goal net has HUGE holes in it and doesn’t do it’s job at all, but of course we’re not buying a bldythird goal net as it’s a waste of bldymoney with me here.

I had two long walks yesterday, despite the high temperatures for this time of year.  I was so hot on one of them, that I took the  unusual step of getting in the river like the other dogs.  I didn’t throw myself in with wild abandon like the silly brown labradors do, but stepped in carefully where I knew it was shallow.  It was lovely and cool.  I stayed in there until a silly brown labrador splashed up to me very roughly and  shook water all over me.  Juvenile.  Most of the day was spent in the garden, and in a drastic turn of events, Lad and Young Lad spent time in the sunshine too! They are beginning to look a little less anaemic than they did a week ago.  Lunch was eaten in the garden, which means lots of begging and whining by the table, and I spent a happy afternoon running to the bird table every time one of the idiot giant collar doves landed on it, making mouldy bread fall to the ground.

When Lad wasn’t playing football in the garden yesterday, he was doing revision and working hard. When Young Lad wasn’t playing football in the garden yesterday, he wasn’t doing anything at all.  This morning he was forcibly positioned in front of the laptop to look at Showmybldyhomework to find out what the “not much” homework actually involved.  There was a lot, and Young Lad has been spoken to about Time Management again.  

On my evening walk last night, I bumped into Nicetallladywiththestaffie.  Seemingly I’m not the only one who has a problem with picnics at this time of year, as Molly the Staffie was making a good attempt at running into the middle of one nice family eating al fresco.  It does make me wonder why you would choose to sit on the grass for a picnic in a popular dog-walking area, but there you go.  Being a balmy Saturday evening, there were many groups of Youths, just Hanging Around and doing Youth type things, like jumping in the river in their boxer shorts to impress the girls.  (I know for a fact there are rats in that river, and am not sure about the wisdom of this.)  Youths apparently need lots of snacks and drinks to Hang Around of a Saturday night, and I’m not sure that all  the things they were doing as they sat on the grass were either safe or legal, but who am I to criticise.  At least they were in the fresh air being unsafe and illegal.  

Coming back from our evening walk we bumped into dear, dear Ebony.  She still has her sore paw bandaged up with a large black sock wrapped round it.  This looks like a boxing glove.  In fact, Ebony tried it out by thumping me round the head with it.  How I laughed – she is a one, old Ebony.

Gingercat was told off yesterday.  I know!  It makes a change, doesn’t it!  She was trying to clean my ears out – I do dislike this, it’s tedious and irritating – and Gingercat kept headbutting me.  This is not safe for my ears, as the impact of Gingercat’s head could jog the cotton wool too far in. Then Gingercat kept yowling and asking for food at hourly intervals throughout the day, and everyone told him to shut up. Poor Gingercat.  This is a dangerous time for Gingercat, as lots of the windows are open and he does like to explore, by climbing through them.  This is ok unless it’s one at the top of the house, as Gingercat isn’t the youngster he thinks he is any more, and climbing out the bathroom window and up on to the roof may be a step too far.

Talking of which, it was the London Marathon today. This ridiculous event requires people to run for 26.3 miles.  I can’t see the point.  Readers, you know a brisk five mile walk is pushing it for me, (and her). They phoned up Nana aged 87 today to tell her there was an 87 year old running the marathon, and that she needed to think on.  Nana aged 87 asked whether it was the Duke Of Edinburgh, who is a game old bird but I suspect not that game.  Anyway, it gave Nana aged 87 something to think about when she next says she can’t walk to the post box and the like.

We had the cockapoo from next door this morning.  After the initial prancing around and being immature, it seemed to settle down and I was able to lay in the sun without being jumped on.  Imagine my delight when I heard the word “barbecue” being mentioned!  One has to seize the day when the sun comes out, and so there has been much barbecuing in back gardens everywhere today. It smelled great, and I whined until a piece of sausage fell onto the ground right near me. He had cooked it to perfection, I have to say.  Well done, He. We waited until the sun had cooled down tonight, to go for a walk – and what superb timing.  Who did I bump into, but dear, dear Pippa!  She jumped on me, over me, into me and all the usual things, knocking me off my feet, and we had a marvellous time.  Then, on the way back, I led her astray.  Pippa was walking along nicely and behaving, when I got a sudden sniff of dumped picnic food and rubbish, about three miles away, and took off like a rocket.  I ran and ran, Pippa in hot pursuit, and we were both told off (me more so of course), when our Pack Leaders finally caught up with us.  Poor Pippa.  I  cheered up nearer home, though, when we stopped to chat to Oscar the Border Terrier.  She warned them about all the picnics and barbecues lying around, and there was general comparison of greedy dog syndrome.  BUT they told us that Oscar has sussed out that whenever you see a pushchair, it often has a tray thing at the bottom, and this ALWAYS has snacks and drinks in it!  Top Tip, Oscar, thanks for that one!

And here endeth a hot, sunny weekend.  Hope you’ve all enjoyed the sunshine.

Bye for now,


Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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