Cor!

Readers, I found it intensely annoying last night that Young Lad took so long to eat his apple. He was distracted by something on Netflix and it really was vexing that I had to wait so long for the apple core. Apple cores are not very good for dogs, in fact, but I have never let this kind of detail deter me. In the end I had no choice but to lean over and snatch the apple out of his hand. I was shouted at.

I’ve been shouted at tonight, too, for trying to steal a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios; to be honest I can’t quite believe that cheese on toast and a bowl of cereal could be considered dinner for She, but there was a general air of apathy around cooking and so out came the Cheerios. If you will leave them on the coffee table while you pop back to the kitchen, what do you expect? I’m now sulking in my chair and intend doing so for the rest of the evening. I’m never shouted at when I go to dear, dear Pippa or Ebony’s house.

On the whole it’s been a super day, though, as I went to Pippa’s house for daycare. We had a long walk and I have spent the rest of the day asleep in a nice armchair, surrounded by people who care about me. Yesterday was good, too, at Ebony’s house – apart from rushing to the kitchen when I heard the biscuit tin touched, I had a marvellous time sleeping on the soft furnishings there as well. This is the sort of life I deserve and which is so sadly lacking in my own home.

Last Sunday morning was gloriously sunny, with a clear blue sky and crisp autumnal air. She took me for a lovely walk up to the lake, and we both stood there for a while looking over the beautiful scene and thinking that life is good. Then I found some fox poo to roll in on the way home and life suddenly didn’t seem quite so good for one of us. There were two squirrels running along the path on the way back, but I was on the lead by then due to the fox poo, so I couldn’t chase them. Had I been able to, I’m sure I would have caught them both for I am a Hunting Dog. This has yet to be proved but I’m sure it’s true.

Friends, I know many of you are keen for news of Lad and how he is getting on at university. I’m happy to report that all is well and he has settled in very nicely; Lad is still coping with sharing bathroom facilities with one other person. Well done, Lad. He has even started doing some work and attending online lectures (when he wakes up in time)look, Lad has to go to bed very late because that’s what you do at university and its not his fault if he doesn’t set the alarm on his phone properly. The biggest problem facing Lad is the poor standard of laundry facilities – Lad has had to phone home for advice because the tumble dryers are “shxt” and don’t dry his designer tracksuits properly. She asked him what setting he had selected on the tumble dryers and Lad said they have to be on ‘delicates’ as otherwise his designer tracksuits might shrink. She sighed in an irritable way and said the choice was simple – dry but slim designer tracksuits or damp, loose fitting designer tracksuits. I feel that Lad was looking for a little more support than this, and just snapping ‘turn the temperature up’ was not what he needed.

Actually Lad had a splendid idea last week and asked if She would like to drive down on Sunday, to see Nana aged 89 and take Lad out for lunch. Then Lad expanded on his idea and said maybe She could go and pick up Lad and his washing first, take him to Nana aged 89’s so he could put it in her washing machine, take Lad out for a nice lunch somewhere, pop to Asda on the way back so that Lad could do his food shopping, and finally collect Lad’s washing and take him and his laundry back to his room in university. Lad wondered what She thought about this idea, and what a nice day it may be.

She said that Lad’s idea would involve at least five hours of driving and She would rather stick pins in her eyes.

Poor Lad. I feel this is yet another example of shoddy parenting, because if you can’t be bothered to give up your time for your offspring and dogs, why have them in the first place? What a snub for Lad, to tell him his idea was rubbish, and to just use the bldy laundrette at the bldy university and turn the bldy temperature up.

Undeterred, though, Lad has come up with another idea and wondered whether She would like to drive down to see Nana aged 89 at half-term; coincidentally he would like to come back to this part of the world to visit his friends (and me, obviously) and he could hop in the car rather than having the expense and inconvenience of rail travel. Lad is very clever and comes up with excellent ideas – I do feel his brilliance is not fully appreciated.

Young Lad has had another GCSE Food Technology Practical lesson which was carried out at home due to coronavirus. To my utter joy, Young Lad decided to make sirloin steak stir fry and so we actually had some decent quality meat in the fridge. She knows nothing about cuts of meat and had bought a very thick piece of sirloin (moaning incessantly about the price) so poor Young Lad had a heck of a job to cut it into strips with a large butcher’s knife. Then Young Lad, who has high standards in these things, decided there were some fatty bits that needed cutting off so these were dropped into my food bowl. Raw sirloin steak fat, Readers!! I was beside myself!

Young Lad said his sirloin steak stir fry was very tasty and gave himself a high mark in the assessment of it.

Last week was quite an eventful week here, Friends, with various things happening and it meant that She’s friend Gordon popped round quite a lot. I lost count of the times I heard the fizz of the tonic water and the plop of the ice, but really it can’t go on like this. I’m sure responsible parents and Pack Leaders turn to things like yoga during stressful weeks rather than hard spirits. I might suggest this to She – I know for a fact there is a yoga mat and blocks upstairs which haven’t been used for about ten years.

No, I can’t see it happening either.

Stay safe Readers, and pop round to see your friends while you still can.

See you soon,

Russell

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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