Prison Break

prison breakOh Readers, what a week I’ve had.  It all started with Storm Ciara that swept across the country the weekend before last – the warnings were all there, storm-force winds and torrential rain, but did anyone check the state of the fences round my garden?  Of course not.  So it was that on the Monday morning after a VERY stormy night, I was let out for my comfort break whilst it was still dark and She didn’t notice that the neighbour over the back’s fence had blown down.  Again.  Off She went to work, happy to leave me here for the day with Lad who was on study leave.

Oh Readers.  You have to laugh.  Halfway through the morning a sudden thought occurred and a frantic text message was sent to Lad, saying “don’t let the dog out in the garden on his own in case the fence has blown down.”  Alas, too late.  Lad had kindly let me out in the garden a good hour before this message pinged through, and by the time he remembered this, I was miles away.  Oh the freedom!  The sense of sheer joy and being able to go wherever I wanted, when I wanted!  I can’t tell you how wonderful my morning was.  The details will stay known only to me, but I can say that I went through several bins in back gardens (which was ace as it had been Sunday the day before, and therefore Roast day) and ran all round the estate.  Eventually I made my way down to the river, which is my favourite place other than my armchair (or Pippa/Ebony’s armchairs) and paddled along in the shallows very happily.

In the meantime Lad was running round the estate looking for me, Lovelyneighbourontheright had been alerted, as had Ebony’s Pack Leader, and the entire local community thanks to the power of Facebook.  Lovelyneighbourontheright came round and blocked up the gaping fence panel with a spare one and our garden furniture piled on top.  Ebony’s Pack Leader stood at the ready with Lad in my house, in case There Was Any News.  I’m told it was all very tense and fraught here, Friends, and also where She was at work, as nobody had a clue where I was and were all imagining I was under the wheels of a Tesco Home Delivery van on the estate somewhere.

How wrong they were.  I was in the river, trying to retrieve a stick, when a very nice lady spotted me and wondered why there was a beagle on his own, with no collar on, in the river.  She voiced this thought aloud on Facebook and what do you know?  Within minutes there were cries of, “oh it’s Russell” and “tell Ebony or Pippa’s Pack Leaders.”  There are benefits to fame, of course, and this was one of them – I was instantly recognised and the concerned parties alerted.  So the very nice lady stood with me (I had only come out of the water when she offered me treats) and we waited patiently until Ebony’s Pack Leader came charging along with a collar and lead for me.  I was SO excited to see her!  Don’t get me wrong, I’d had a cracking morning running round the estate and the fields, but I was tired and hungry and ready for a good sleep in Ebony’s armchair and hopefully a snack.

When we got back, I asked Ebony’s Pack Leader for a treat but she said no, and instead I was taken home where Lad was waiting for me.  Lad looked very cross indeed and said, “BAD dog,” and a lot of other things, so I slunk into my armchair and went to sleep.  Good Lord I was tired!

So all in all, quite a day.  Then the following weekend we had Storm Dennis and this caused lots of flooding, I have heard on the news that Storm Ellen might be heading this way soon.  I do like a good storm as it breaks the monotony of life.

I went for a lovely walk at the river yesterday afternoon with She, and on our way back from Top Field who did I spot in the distance but dear, dear Pippa.  I went bounding over to her, and she knocked me flying which was hilarious, so we chased each other round for a little while and then stopped to sniff something.  I haven’t seen much of Pippa lately due to Lad being on study leave (and supposedly looking after me – ha!) so it was wonderful to see her again.

Readers, I am not the only dog who gets into trouble.  The other day, Ebony’s Pack Leader made a delicious sponge cake as it was such a wet, windy, miserable day and a spot of baking is always good on these occasions.  It really was a splendid cake, and was on the cooling rack in the kitchen whilst Ebony’s Pack Leader went to answer the phone.


Look, it is completely understandable that Ebony wanted to try it – the cake looks delicious!  Who can blame her?  And at least she had the manners to only take a large chunk, whereas I would have pulled the whole thing on the floor and had the lot.  In fact I was a little disappointed in Ebony, in this respect. Some baking was done here too, at the weekend,and a nice chocolate sponge was made.  However, this was RUINED by trying a new recipe for chocolate fudge icing which was TERRIBLE as it had way too much cocoa in it, and was too rich.   It might have  been nice if someone asked me my opinion of the chocolate fudge icing, but obviously nobody did.


It’s half term week here, so Lad and Young Lad are not at school.  There has been no 6am ruddy alarm clock for a few days, which has been lovely, and Gingercat and I have enjoyed our lie-ins.  The house has had a Good Tidy Up – well, I wouldn’t go that far – and a carpet cleaning machine was hired to clean the DISGUSTING filthy carpets, for which I am blamed of course, as I walk over them in muddy feet. Readers, the water that was emptied out of that machine was BLACK.  What squalid conditions we are expected to live in here.  Lad has been quite helpful with some tidying up, and has collected up all his thousands of revision cards and notes and put them in a pile.  It looks much better.  Until they fall over.  Young Lad has been tasked with daily dishwasher duties, plus he had to wipe the leaves of the two peace lily plants with baby wipes to make them shine.  I’m not sure this is how he wanted to spend half term but there you are.

In fact Young Lad is out at the moment as he has gone bowling with two friends, and then they are walking to MacDonalds for a healthy lunch.  Young Lad will be very tired when he gets back later, and it’s a good job he was forced to do his homework early in the week as he will be far too exhausted now.

As part of all the tidying up, Lad and Young Lad sorted out all their Xbox games and made a big pile of the ones they don’t play any more.  This was then added to with some very out-dated Wii and Playstation games.  Whilst the two of them relaxed in their pyjamas this morning, She popped into town and took the whole lot to one of these Cash In places (I think back in the day they were called Pawn Shops.)  What do you know, the very nice man in the Cash In place bought more or less everything and gave She £53!!  So of course She went straight to Costalotta and called this her commission.

It is pouring with rain yet again, and She has to go and collect Young Lad from bowling/MacDonalds having only just come in from dropping Lad at the station, before which She dropped Young Lad at bowling/MacDonalds.  Honestly all this coming and going is very unsettling.  She says She’s quite happy to go out yet again as I am cracking some appalling smells – I’m not sure what I ate in Top Field this morning but it was rank.  The rain is lashing against the window, Gingercat and I are in the warm, all is well with the world.

I do hope She forgets to put the bin out!  Oh please, please….

See you soon,



Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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