Crisp and Even

crispsAt the weekend, Readers, there was some Frantic Cleaning done at my house because nobody had done any for a couple of weeks and the house was a mess.  When it was time for the lounge to be blitzed, I heard a shriek of despair from underneath the large table – it appeared She had found my secret stash of crisp packets.  There was a whole mountain of them there, ripped up and spat out, and every last grain of salt licked clean.  I’ll admit it did look a mess, but if someone bothered to hoover under the table more regularly these things wouldn’t build up.  It’s not my fault. 

I had collected all these crisp packets from a variety of places.  Some were from Lad’s bedroom bin, others were from the downstairs toilet bin (I’ve no idea either) and yet more were from Lad and Young Lad’s school bags.  By ripping them all up and arranging them in a pile under the table, I created quite a wonderful collage in the style of Andy Warhol.  I’m sure he did something arty with crisp packets. Or was it soup tins….

Anyway I digress.  I was quite annoyed that my secret stash was all cleared up and put in the bin, then the carpet was hoovered and finally some Dr Beckmann’s Stain remover squirted over a grubby bit.   And of course this was accompanied by a lot of moaning about haven’tgotthebldytime  for all this.  Don’t worry Friends, I’ve already started my pile off again with a breadsticks packet and an empty sachet of Whiskas.

It was a busy weekend, after a busy week.  Friday night was a much-needed chilling out session – I was frankly exhausted – and it was a wonderful evening wherein She sat on the sofa (her friend Gordon was within easy reach), Young Lad sat squashed up tightly next to her, I lay stretched out along her legs and then Gingercat came and sat on me/ her shoulder.  You would think most people would love to be sat on by three other people/animals and find the experience warming and loving, but of course we were moaned at.  It was pointed out that the sofa is fairly large and it was totally unnecessary for She to be buried beneath her son and animals – honestly some people are so ungrateful.  There are those of you out there, Friends, who are crying out for such loving attention on a Friday night at the end of a longbldyweek.

But even She could see how cosy it all was, and we all relaxed in front of Netflix for the evening.  I think She found it hard to breathe at times, especially when Gingercat stretched out across her neck, but what a happy scene.  Young Lad said “isn’t this nice?” and hugged She more tightly.  She didn’t answer.  I’m not sure She could.

Readers, my last blog was called “Halfway House” and one of you very kindly sent me a picture from an AA Milne book.  This was a poem called “Halfway Down The Stairs” and it’s ironic, because when we were thinking of a title for my last blog, I did suggest this very thing but She said none of you would know what on earth we were talking about, and that an old Christopher Robin poem would be lost on my audience.  How patronising, Friends. Oh dear, dear, dear.  I think someone needs to be a little more humble and a little less judgemental in thinking they are the only person who can recite “it isn’t at the bottom, it isn’t at the top, but this is the stair where I always stop”.   I can only apologise, Friends, and am very grateful to the reader who sent me the poem.

Lad has been working hard studying this evening and has now gone to the gym.  I feel exercise is good release for Lad and walking all the way to the gym in the freezing cold will do him a lot of good.  Well done, Lad.  Young Lad has PE at school tomorrow, but doesn’t need his kit as it is “theory.”  I imagine this is Young Lad’s favourite type of PE lesson as one can sit down for most of it.  Anyway, Young Lad has indoor cricket nets tomorrow night, it being Wednesday, AND he has to walk all the way home from school, so this is more than enough activity for the poor lamb.

I’ve been to daycare at dear, dear Ebony’s house today.  I was meant to be going to dear, dear Pippa but poor Pippa’s Pack Leader Male has been unwell and so I decided to let him have a day of peace today.  It’s a shame, as Pippa’s Pack Leader Male and I share a penchant for a cheese sandwich, and often sit together over lunch in appreciation of such a simple classic.  I do hope he feels better soon so that I can go back round and gaze wistfully at his sandwich.

Well, Readers, someone has had enough for the evening and wants to catch up with Silent Witness or a prison/hospital/equally bleak kind of programme.  One of these days they might try searching the comedy section, you never know.  I will do my best to snore loudly throughout whatever She puts on, just to make my presence felt.

Golly I’m tired.

See you soon,

Russell

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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