Back on Form

thumbs-upReaders you will be very pleased to know that I am back to normal and able to go out for walks.  I am not as stiff, and can get up the stairs or onto people’s beds with a spring in my step again.  The Evil Vet gave me some good medication, even though they were rude about me shaking with fear in the waiting room.

In fact, I’m so full of energy that yesterday at dear Ebony’s house,  I decided to initiate a playfight that went on for AGES!  In the lounge I went up to Ebony and hit her with my paw – this was enough provocation for her to try to bite me, and then we rolled around and jumped on each other for a nice long time, snapping and biting. It was terrific fun.  I decided when it was time to stop,  and signalled this by jumping in the armchair for a kip.

I’ve had two days at dear Ebony’s for daycare, and tomorrow I’m off to dear Pippa’s house.  You will notice how little time my own family are spending with me as usual.  I mean this evening I am here with She and Lad, all nice and cosy in the lounge and what are they doing?  Throwing a ball round the lounge for me?  Letting me sit on their lap?  No Readers. They are ignoring me and watching a documentary about Belmarsh Prison.  I ask you.  Storm Brendan is howling outside the windows and the clematis plant thing keeps bashing into the glass, but we’re taking no notice of that as Ross Kemp is telling us all about The Special Cell on D Wing.  My family do love a bit of dramatic gloom.

It was good to get back down to the river at the weekend and stretch my legs properly – it’s exceedingly muddy still, from when the river burst its banks, and quite tricky for a white dog to return home white.  I saw many of my friends and they were all plastered too. Having missed my walks for so long, I did a little romping around with a spaniel but not for long, as you can have too much of a good thing.  

Lad has been working hard again this week, and surprised everyone by volunteering to empty the airing cupboard and do the ironing.  So touched was She by this turn of events that it very nearly brought tears to the eye.  Well done, Lad.  Young Lad had rather a lot of homework to do at the weekend, and due to poor time management ended up doing hours of it yesterday evening.   This is because Young Lad underestimates how long/how much effort he should put into tasks.  For example, when asked to write definitions of poetic terms such as “stanza” or “onomatopoeia” I heard the following:  Siri, what does stanza mean?  Naturally there was then a huge argument about whether this is the correct way to do homework when you’re in Year 9, and the shouting became very tedious.

One new development, Friends – Young Lad has decided to give up playing football.  This means no more driving to far-flung pitches on a Sunday and crying in the car when She gets lost.  Yes indeed, there will be a little more opportunity of a lie-in on a Sunday and for this I’m grateful.  She told Loadsakids the good news, and Loadsakids is quite jealous.  They won’t need to send each other thumbs up emojis when the pitches are water-logged any more.  It also means that Wednesday nights are no longer so busy with Midweek Training.

Instead, Wednesday nights will be busy with Indoor Cricket Nets.  She says the time-frame is bldytight again, because they have to leave home at 6.00pm and She won’t be in from work until 5.45 pm which is a bldytightfit.  Lad has been told he will have to cook a nutritious meal for Young Lad, which inevitably will involve oven chips.  I feel this is unfair on Lad, as he is not the Parent and it is the Parent who should be responsible for feeding the offspring.  That is how it works in the natural world, Readers – we don’t say “I’m too busy, someone else can do it.”   She will have to content herself with scrambled egg on toast on their return from cricket at 8.30pm.

Readers, I have some sad news.  My friend Buddy the Bouncy Labrador – the one who was part labrador, part kangaroo and used to swing from tree branches – had to be put to sleep at the weekend.  Buddy had something horrid called cancer, and you might remember that a few months ago The Evil Vet did a huge operation and removed a lot of Buddy’s stomach.  You would never have known, as Buddy was soon back to  jumping up and grabbing high tree branches in his teeth.  His energy was frightening.  Unfortunately the cancer returned, and poor Buddy was very poorly last week.  This time he was not able to bounce his way back, and I am going to miss him very much.  Poor Buddy’s Pack Leader will miss him too – first Rocco the Inspirational Three-Legged Labrador, and now Buddy.  Life can be very hard and very unfair.  She says “why does bad stuff always happen to the nice people?”

Buddy’s Pack Leader and my Pack Leader stood with their arms round each other on the pavement outside my house the other day – it must have looked very peculiar to anyone driving past but if you are a dog owner, you would understand.

Buddy, I hope you are leaping high and bouncing freely for evermore.

I think I’ll watch the Belmarsh Prison documentary now, to cheer myself up a little. 

Bye for now,


Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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