Paws For Thought

paws Well, Readers, we are only a few days into the New Year and already I have been subjected to undignified and unpleasant procedures.  You will remember that I was lame for a week before Christmas, and the Evil Vet said that it was probably stiffness in my hip.  Well, once the meds kicked in I was able to walk normally again and all seemed to be well.  Then I started furiously licking my paws day after day, barely letting up for a bldyminute and it seemed to get on somebody’s nerves.  I couldn’t help it!  My paws were itchy right between the toes and I had to nibble really hard to get in there and alleviate things. Yes, all four feet!  It was very vexing for me – so I was dragged off to the Evil Vet’s surgery yet again.  This time I climbed underneath the chair in the waiting room and lay there, shaking like a leaf.  When my name was called, I wouldn’t come out from under the chair and She had to get down and drag me.  As we passed the main door, I made a run for it but as usual to no avail.

People in the waiting room were laughing, Readers.  It was awful.  She said “for God’s sake stop making such a fuss,” and the nurse who was waiting for me said, “oh good grief, Russell, you’ve only come in for a pedicure.”

Then the nurse took my lead and said, “on Russell’s notes it says he needs to be muzzled and away from Mum.”  Honestly!  As if it wasn’t bad enough that I had to have a horrid muzzle shoved on my face, I was separated from my Pack Leader who was told to stay in the waiting room.  This was too much.  Even She seemed a little hurt and put out that I was Taken Away to The Back Room.

The nurse tried to touch my front right paw.  I screamed.  The nurse said, “oh poor Russell, maybe you have a broken toe”, and examined me carefully.  Then she touched the front left paw.  I screamed.  The back right paw.  I screamed. Back left.  I screamed.  The nurse said, “there is nothing wrong with your paws and you are just a drama queen.”  Then she cut all my toe nails.

You would think this was enough.  But several days later I had was unable to jump onto the sofa in the evening, or anyone’s bed.  As you know, Friends, this time the Evil Vet said I needed to rest for another week, have a whole load of tablets AND, get this, have my paws wiped with special anti-allergy stuff twice a day.  I HATE having my paws touched!  No way will I tolerate anyone separating the toes and cleaning in between them with cotton wool pads.  I will wrinkle  my nose, make silly whiny noises and quite possibly bite whoever is doing it.

I really have had enough of this, and it’s only January 6th.

Thankfully today everyone went back to work/school and life has returned to normal.  I went to dear, dear Ebony’s for daycare today and it was jolly relaxing, as I didn’t have to go out for a walk.   More time for lolling in the armchair.

Lad and Young Lad both expressed their disappointment, yesterday, that the Christmas and New Year break was over.  Neither of them seemed keen to rush back to school, and there was a collective groan in the house when the ruddy alarm clock went off at 6am today.  Lad has had a tiring fortnight, what with all the trips to a town far away, and lots of studying.  Young Lad has had a tiring fortnight – bear with me, he must have done something, surely – ah yes, two cinema visits and one to the bowling alley.  On Sunday afternoon, Young Lad was asked for the hundredth time to check whether he had any homework he should have done over the holiday – Young Lad finally checked this at 4pm and of course it transpired that there had indeed been homework.  Young Lad was shouted at.

Yesterday morning, being Sunday, we looked after Lovelyneighbourontheright’s cockapoo.  Now I find the cockapoo a little annoying at times, for he is somewhat bouncy, but due to the lack of walks for the last few days I needed some entertainment.  Thus I threw caution to the wind and ran round the garden with him – She threw a tennis ball and I chased after it, followed by the cockapoo.  Then the cockapoo chased me round the garden trying to snatch the tennis ball, and so it went on.  This game lasted for seven and a half minutes, and then I went in for a nap.  The cockapoo had to content himself with snatching She’s slippers and running off to the garden with them.

There was a concerted effort to nourish Lad and Young Lad properly yesterday.  What with it being a new school term, it was felt that some Proper Nutrition was needed to set them up for the weeks ahead, and so a huge pot of leek and potato soup was made, served with crusty bread , followed by bangers, mash and onion gravy with three vegetables.  Yes, Regular Readers, Jamie Olive was dusted off the bookshelf again.  Luckily She made about four times the quantity of onion gravy that was required for a small number of diners, so Gingercat and I helped finish it up with our dinners.  It was good to see Lad and Young Lad full of nutritious home-cooked food, as this is an increasingly rare occurrence.  Working Full Time should not be considered an excuse, and giving Lad a “student cookbook” for Christmas was a cop-out if you ask me.  

The house has been tidied up fractionally since Christmas, and there is some carpet space visible.  The snooker table was even cleared ready for a festive game (it never happened), but it has now been re-covered with Lad’s revision cards in an assortment of colours.  The day that Lad’s exams finish in the summer will be a day of much celebrating in my house for many different reasons. 

Oh Readers, poor Lad.  He had to text She this afternoon, to point out yet more parenting failures.  Nobody had thought to renew Lad’s train ticket for the new term, and so he had to pay an extra fare on the way home.  Lad says ticket inspectors are all ANAL and it was perfectly clear, as he was in school uniform, that he was a student going to/from school like he’s done for the last seven years, but no, the ticket inspector was not falling for any “my Mum didn’t renew my train pass” nonsense. No Siree.  Lad was quite tempted to punch the ticket inspector but thought better of it, and now tonight She has to find threehundredand fivebldypounds from somewhere for his train pass.  This could prove tricky.

Gingercat and I have decided to get our heads down and sleep through all the wailing and gnashing of teeth that will ensue with trying to find threehundredandfivebldypounds.

Golly I’m tired just thinking about it.

Bye for now,




Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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