Christmas Wishes

tipped over It is Christmas Eve, Friends, and I have been wishing very hard for a few things.  Firstly I wish everyone would go out and leave me here on my own for a bit – you will remember that this time last year I ate 12 mini mince pies while my family were out for Christmas drinks, and we had to go to the emergency vet at 11pm.  I have been SO looking forward to tonight, for they were bound to go out for Christmas drinks again, and I’ve had my eye on the selection boxes and some prawns that are de-frosting on the working surface.

But NO! She has stayed in!  Lad is out in a town far away with his friends, and Young Lad and He are out, but to my utter dismay She said that there was no bldy way She was leaving me home alone this Christmas Eve, so the pyjamas are on, her friend Gordon is fizzing away in a special Christmas glass, and I have NO opportunity whatsoever to eat the chocolates and prawns.  This is very vexing, as I feel they would have been a nice combination. 

Oh, we can pretend that this is due to her being so bldyknackered in the run-up to Christmas Day with all the bldyshopping, bldycooking, bldywrapping and bldytidying up, but I know for a fact that the decision to stay home in pyjamas was taken purely to stop me enjoying myself. 

Another of my wishes has been about the brandy butter.  While this was being made tonight, a lump flew off the electric beaters and landed on the floor.  I was there like a shot and ate it.  Readers, brandy butter is divine. How I wish that the little ramekin pot of heaven could fall out of the fridge when they open the door, straight into my mouth.

And my final wish – nay dream – is to find the kitchen bin like it is in the photo above, EVERY DAY for the rest of my life.  Oh the fun I had the other day, when She drove Lad to the station and was gone for ten minutes – but hadn’t put the bin out!  Just look at the state of it!  There had been mass-production of brownies and shortbread that morning and the bin was overflowing with baking paper from the cake tins – it was nothing short of bliss.  I dragged everything out of the bin and pulled a lot of it into the lounge all over the carpet, and ate as much as I could before She returned home and shouted at me. 

Tomorrow it is Christmas Day and they are off to relatives for lunch.  I, yet again, have not been invited because these relatives, of whom I am particularly fond as one of them is very pretty, have an extremely over-sized white cat called Snowy who would gouge my eyes out if I stepped foot in the place.  So I am going for Christmas lunch at dear, dear Ebony’s house where I shall spend the afternoon being spoiled and fussed over, and hopefully asleep in an armchair.  I think there are a lot of visitors at dear Ebony’s house tomorrow, with it being Christmas Day, but they will just have to accept that I am a guest and have first dibs of the armchair.

We walked to my friend dear Pippa’s house this afternoon, to deliver some presents.  As soon as I recognised the road we were in, I started running fast towards Pippa’s house and wagged my tail.  Luckily they were in,  so I wasted no time in making myself at home – I needed to check what was in the kitchen first, in case anyone had been making a cheese sandwich as they are wont to do at Pippa’s house.  I do love it when anyone heads into Pippa’s kitchen for cheese sandwich making.   She kept shouting at me, telling me I was rude for treating Pippa’s house as though I own it, but I couldn’t care less. Pippa was very pleased to see me and barked a lot, then we did some gentle sparring with our lips curled back and a lot of growling – Pippa’s Pack Leader’s Mum did say, rather warily, “are they playing?”  but everyone laughed and said “oh yes, they love each other. ”  It just seems very vicious to an outsider.

Well, Christmas Eve or not, I was forced to have a bath today.  This is partly because I need to be clean and smell nice for Christmas Day at Ebony’s house with all their visitors, and partly because I rolled in cack this morning up in the fields.  Readers, you should see the state of the fields above the river – everywhere flooded really badly this week and the river burst its banks, leaving the path completely submerged.  See diagram.


This diagram shows someone trying to walk along the path even though it is patently obvious that it is under five feet of water.   Thankfully we didn’t try as She says her welly boots (only a year old!) have a hole in them and She didn’t want a soakingbldywet foot.  Apart from the flooding, though, Friends, this really is quite a beautiful picture don’t you think?  There were ducks and birds swimming on what is normally a grassy area and footpath.  I felt it was quite unnecessary to spoil the ambience by striking up a conversation with another dog walker about how much raw sewage might be in the water.

So as well as hoovering out the car, washing the kitchen floor and scrubbing the shower screens – these are typical Christmas Eve activities, I presume – we also had to fit in “bath the dog.”  I am very nearly out of Fox Poo shampoo, but I have to say it has lasted marvellously as dear Pippa bought it for me last Christmas!  That’s very nearly a year and Lord knows I’ve had a lot of baths. 

They did all go out for a short while this afternoon, now I think about it, but someone shut all the doors so I couldn’t get near any food or bins.  Lad and Young Lad were told it is a Christmas tradition for them to take She to Costalotta in town on Christmas Eve and buy her a coffee as She deserved it after all the Running Around and Work of Christmas.  Lad and Young Lad can’t really recall this being a Christmas Eve tradition but they knew better than to argue and so off to Costalotta they went.   Lad queued up and paid while Young Lad sat down and kept She company at the table.   This won’t come as a surprise to you. 

Goodness me, Readers, I have been notified by Amazon that a few more of my books have been purchased!  They must be wrapped up under someone’s Christmas tree somewhere – what an excellent choice of present.  It’s hard to believe that it is a year and a half since I became a published author – where does the time go?

I have one more Christmas wish.  I hope you all have a lovely  peaceful Christmas and enjoy time with your families and friends.  Preferably with some nice food.  Thank you so much for hanging on in there and still reading my musings on the blog – what loyal Friends you are.

I will let you know whether Lad makes it home on the last train tonight (does he know they finish earlier on Christmas Eve?  Methinks not), whether I manage to taste a little more brandy butter, and how Christmas lunch is tomorrow. 

Merry Christmas,


Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

One thought on “Christmas Wishes”

  1. Happy Christmas Russell, hope you have a great time. Looking forward to seeing you Christmas Day, will make sure there is an armchair for you.


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