Last week, Readers, I was abominable. I managed to empty the very full, very smelly kitchen bin not once, not twice, but THREE times in the space of five days. I know what you’re thinking – surely the penny would drop and someone in the house would have emptied it/ put it outside but no. After clearing up all the rubbish I had scattered over the lounge carpet three times, they simply put the full, smelly bin back in the kitchen again.
On one of these occasions there had been a large dollop of old cauliflower cheese in the bin which was particularly fragrant, and I did my best to smear some on the lounge carpet so I would think that will reek for quite some time.
Why does anyone make cauliflower cheese? It smells like old dishcloths and looks quite similar too. Obviously I ate it very happily but I can’t say it’s my favourite.
Anyway, Lad had to clear up one lot of my bin looting from the lounge carpet and under the table and he was very cross with me. The first occasion, however, was left to poor Lovelyneighbourontheright who had gallantly agreed to let me out during the day while everyone was at work/school on Monday. Lovelyneighbourontheright thought this was going to be a five minute job – little did she know that my stupid family had forgotten to put the bin outside the back door before going to work, and so she had to spend a very long time cleaning up all the disgusting tea bags and packaging from the lounge carpet. I feel this is well beyond the call of duty for our neighbours, and is very poor on my family’s part.
Anyway, I had a very happy week going through the bins.
It was a funny old week with everyone at work and school for extra long hours, and to be honest I felt quite neglected. Dear, dear Pippa was unavailable to have me round for daycare, so I spent four days with dear, dear Ebony. I had a lovely time sleeping on Ebony’s armchair of a day while Ebony had to sleep on the floor beneath me, occasionally looking up winsomely to see if she could get into her armchair. She couldn’t.
As well as the three loads of bin trashing there were two episodes of fox poo rolling last week. Really, I had a cracking few days!
Young Lad had an early football match yesterday morning and I was taken along too. Young Lad and Detention Friend have to be there for warm-up forty minutes before the game starts, so She and I walked round and round the outer field for this time. I enjoyed this as it is quite rural, and there were lots of interesting smells and textures, but She moaned a lot as it was soaking wet underfoot in the long grass. Look, She had debated whether to wear wellington boots before leaving home but felt that stout walking boots would suffice – stout but not waterproof – and this proved to be a HUGE mistake. Within minutes boots, socks and feet were soaked through and there was still half an hour before kick-off. Thus one had to stand in very wet, very cold feet for two hours and this was plenty of time in which to think about one’s bad decision.
To be honest my feet were soaked as well and it wasn’t the most pleasant for me either. I was cold and shivered, and when the football nearly hit me it was just the final straw.
Next Sunday I will be very happy to stay at home while they go to football. I could have a lie-in with Lad.
Readers, I have some bad news about Young Lad and Food Tech. You will remember how excited I was about Thai Green chicken curry – well, usually there is a “demonstration” lesson in Week A, followed by the practical in Week B. Unfortunately Young Lad’s Food Tech teacher was off sick in week A, so Young Lad felt it was impossible for them to do the practical session in Week B. I do hope you’re keeping up. So Young Lad didn’t take his ingredients to the lesson in Week B, thinking it would now be the demonstration lesson, but it turns out Young Lad was the only person in his class who thought this, and everyone else made Thai Green chicken curry. Young Lad had to watch. We now have a load of ingredients in the fridge such as red chillis and curry paste, that we are unlikely to need. She says Young Lad has to make it at home whether anyone wants it or not, to use up all the bldyingredients She bought.
It has rained and rained and rained for days, nay weeks. As you know, football was called off due to waterlogged pitches for two Sundays running, and Loadsakids and She knew that it was too much to hope that there would be a third week’s respite. Indeed, much of today has been spent trying to scrape off six inches of wet mud from Young Lad’s football boots, which I’m sure was a pleasant and satisfying task. Then the sink had to be disinfected and bleached as did the walls as somehow the mud splashes right up them when one is cleaning football boots. There is an outdoor tap – I’m just saying….
There was a good effort on the culinary front here over the weekend, with leek and potato soup AND shepherd’s pie made on our return from football. This was due to the fact that everyone was freezing cold and soaking wet, and hearty warming food was needed. I wasn’t given any, of course, and have been told I need to lose weight after all the bin-raiding. Rude and hypocritical, if you ask me.
I was taken for a three-mile walk today to emphasise this point. Due to my recent poor record with fox-poo rolling I wasn’t allowed off the lead and I feel this was harsh. There is a difference between going for a three -mile walk and being dragged round the fields for three miles. On the way back I saw my good friend Buddy the Bouncy Labrador who has recently had a big operation, so he was also on the lead to stop him bouncing too much. We commiserated with each other.
There has been an eye kept on the news on the telly today, as there is something going on with Brexit whatever that is. I’m not convinced that anyone really knows. Anyway, She has been trying to follow the latest developments which Young Lad and Lad agree are very boring, and She finds very confusing. Gingercat and I just sleep through it and I feel this is probably the best tactic for most people.
We slept through the Wet Sham match on the telly the other day, too, whilst He and Lad shouted and sighed a lot.
Lad and Young Lad can’t wait for the end of this week, as they break up for half term. Hopefully this will mean a week of no ridiculous alarm clocks going off at 6am – I really do need a lie-in.
Golly I’m tired.
See you soon,