It’s been a very busy few days, Readers, as you can tell from the lack of a blog. I did warn you that this would happen. One would hope that there would be more time at the weekends for this sort of thing, but oh no. In addition to all the bldyhousework and bldyfootball matches there is now another thing to throw into the equation – University Open Days. I have no idea what these are or what the point is, but it basically means that I am left alone or shoved to the neighbours even more than usual.
Last Saturday Young Lad was dumped with Detention Friend for the night, so that Lad and She could make a ridiculously early start to somewhere called Nottingham. I was not pleased about alarm clocks going off at 5.10am on a Saturday, I can tell you!! Neither was Lad, in fact, who made a right fuss about getting up even though it was for hisbldybenefit and Lad did actually make them late leaving home, so there was some bad temper even at that time of the day. I’ve no idea what they got up to for the day, but I decided to make the best of things.
Firstly I had a look around and found a bag of Walkers’ Ready Salted crisps in Young Lad’s school rucksack. I had a marvellous idea, Readers! Knowing how tired and hungry She would be on returning home in the evening from Nottingham, I thought maybe She would need a little snack. So I climbed onto the bed, messed up the pillows and buried the bag of crisps right underneath them for her. I thought to myself, what a lovely surprise for her! How pleased She’ll be!
(Of course She wasn’t. When She finally got home and raced up the stairs to put her pyjamas on, there was a loud scream. You would have thought it was a Hunstman Spider under the pillows rather than a bag of Walker’s Ready Salted. For goodness’ sake!)
Anyway, the day improved as Lovelyneighbourontheright came round and collected me, to take me round to their house. This was marvellous fun. We went out for a walk first of all, then I spent the rest of the day sprawled on their sofa. Really I did enjoy myself and slept like a log. Their dog, the Bouncy Cockapoo, is not allowed on the furniture, so he just sat on the floor and looked at me as I spread myself over the soft furnishings.
The next day, we had the Bouncy Cockapoo round here to look after him in return. He and I get on better these days, and I don’t feel the need to snarl at him quite so much. However, the Bouncy Cockapoo made a schoolboy error in trying to take on Gingercat in the garden – Gingercat was having none of it, and in a complete role reversal, Gingercat chased the Bouncy Cockapoo round the garden hissing at him. The Bouncy Cockapoo was running away as fast as he could. It was very entertaining.
Poor Young Lad of course, had been dumped with Detention Friend overnight, so the following morning Young Lad decided it was time to catch up with our friend Lovelydor down the road. There was the glimmer of hope that Lovelydor might take him to MacDonalds for lunch and indeed Lovelydor came up trumps. Young Lad spent the rest of the day lying on Lovelydor’s sofa watching telly, much the same as I was lying on Lovelyneighbourontheright’s sofa. Do you detect a theme? Lovelydor asked Young Lad whether he had any homework to do and Young Lad gave a very vague reply.
What else has been going on, I ask myself. Yesterday I went for a lovely long walk at the river with She and we saw two other Beagles. One was Barney The Oh-so-Adorable Beagle who is always white and cuddly and affectionate. Barney annoys me and sometimes I try to mount him. Then we bumped into another Beagle and so began a long tedious conversation about why on earth do people have Beagles, they need their head read.
I have an unpleasant smear on my face, Readers. This is because when Lad and She returned from the University Open Day they were a tadge tired and nobody could be bothered to cook. I gather the only sustenance all day had been a smoked salmon bagel for brunch. So of course a ready meal was in order and She chose something called mushroom stroganoff, which looked nice on the packet but was rank in reality. It had a browny pinky orangey sauce that was quite unpleasant, She said, but I was very happy to be given the ready meal tray to clean out. Unfortunately the sauce smeared halfway up my face to where I can’t reach it, and it is still there as nobody has bothered to clean me up.
Today I’ve been at dear, dear Ebony’s house and have slept for most of the day. I had a lovely time last week at dear, dear Pippa’s house, too, and basically just slept there on the soft furnishings. I do get very tired, you see.
I would love to be able to say that there might be another blog within the next week but the way things are going here, Gingercat and I will be lucky to be fed of a day let alone have our creative talent nurtured. Really it’s too much.
I’m off to bed.
See you soon,