Yesterday I breached a cupboard that I have never breached before. Everyone was out and I was left alone for three hours – this is UNACCEPTABLE. I was incredibly bored, despite being given my Kong filled with cold porridge as everyone disappeared through the front door, and needed something to do. I looked in all the usual kitchen cupboards but there was nothing of interest as anything edible has been moved to a higher shelf. Then I noticed the cupboard where Gingercat’s food is kept. I have never tried to get into this cupboard before and really I have to wonder why! It’s the obvious choice. It took quite a lot of scratching, and I ripped some of the laminate off the door, but finally I had that door open and pulled out Gingercat’s box of food.
Dragging it into the lounge, I pulled the carton apart and found six foil sachets inside. It didn’t take me long to rip those open with my sharp teeth and I ate the six meals. Admittedly I had to spit bits of silver foil out all over the newly-clean carpet, but I was very good and didn’t leave a single morsel of brown cat meat on the cream carpet. Was I thanked for this? Of course not.
Six packets of cat food in one go! It was lovely. Why on earth haven’t I tried this before? I must be slipping up in my middle age.
Of course I was shouted at when She finally came home. Serves her right for leaving me on my own for all that time.
I seem to have been in trouble a lot over the last couple of days. I’ve rolled in things and stolen food, and generally behaved in an entirely natural way for a Beagle. But still I am chastised.
It’s been very noisy here this afternoon. Young Lad and one of his friends went to the cinema, and then had a tremendous idea on their return. As it was a warm, sunny day Young Lad suggested getting the SlipnSlide out of the tarantula-ridden shed and setting it up for an afternoon of healthy fun. Young Lad didn’t quite fancy clambering over the lawn mower, three bikes (never used) and some sunloungers in order to find the SlipnSlide, though, so She had to do this whilst Young Lad helpfully stood and watched. Finally the large piece of blue plastic was stretched out onto the lawn, pegged down tightly and I lay down on the sunniest part of it. Sadly this wasn’t the purpose of the SlipnSlide and I was pushed off.
Detention Friend then arrived, and so Young Lad and his two friends had a splendid hour or so pushing each other down a piece of blue plastic that had washing up liquid and the hose running on it. There was much shouting and screeching. I’m sure it was a lot of fun but frankly the noise got on my nerves after a while. I believe the neighbours said much the same thing.
It would have been a very good opportunity to do something about the tarantulas in the shed at this point, but of course nobody did. Lad will be paid at some point to jet wash the shed, which he will do in full combat gear with gloves and boots on as Lad is not the most courageous when it comes to arachnids.
And where is Lad? That’s a very good question, Readers. After all his hard work for his exams, Lad and his friends decided they needed a little holiday so they have gone to somewhere called Benigormless for four days. I believe Benigormless is a place to which young people flock to have a rest. Lad was given a very lengthy and very dull lecture about Safe Behaviour whilst on his little holiday; I cannot see what could possibly go wrong.
I miss Lad, and am looking forward to his return in a few days. I’m sure he will be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, raring to get back to school. She has just snorted.
This evening I had a nice swim in the river as it was very warm indeed. Well ok, ‘swim’ is possibly stretching it a little, but I went in up to my stomach. The silly duck was in there again, but I was too hot and bothered to swim after it tonight. As we were walking along, a nice spaniel came to see me and his Pack Leader stopped to admire me. I noticed that his Pack Leader had some beef jerky treats in his pocket, so I sat down nicely in front of him until he got the message. Unfortunately he was a little slow in getting the beef jerky from the packet to my mouth and I had no choice but to hurry him along a little by snatching it. I bit his finger and he said “ouch.” She then made a tremendous fuss, shouting at me and telling me off, and this was quite unnecessary as the Pack Leader said, “oh I’ve had worse, a black labrador tried to take off four of my fingers once.” There, a sensible reaction unlike the ridiculous apologies and curses coming from my own Pack Leader.
Young Lad is exhausted after an afternoon of cinema, SlipnSlide, Nerf Gun wars round the house and finally the Xbox. Poor Young Lad. Thankfully there is no cricket match tomorrow and Young Lad will be able to have a rest. So will I. I’ve been told that next week everything is back to normal, and with Lad back at school I will be going to dear, dear Pippa and dear, dear Ebony for a few days. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me! I bumped into dear Pippa at the river last night – it has been WEEKS since I saw her. We jumped at each other like long-lost friends.
This has cheered me up immensely, the thought of going to Pippa and Ebony’s houses this week. I don’t like being out of routine and it was all very well Lad being here for a few days but he is no substitute for Pippa and Ebony. I’m sorry to be blunt.
Anyway, Readers, it is a warm Saturday evening and the smell of barbecues from all round the neighbourhood is wafting in through the french windows. What a delicious smell it is.
See you soon,