Oh for goodness’ sake, it’s been raining ALL day. It rained for half the day on Saturday, a bit yesterday evening and now it’s been chucking down for the entire day. Readers, I’ve just looked at the forecast and it’s meant to keep this up for most of the week! It does get on my nerves. It means that cricket training will be rained off for the third week running and I will not be able to clear up the pigeon poo around the ground – I would think there is quite a build-up by now.
Talking of cricket, the rain stopped long enough yesterday morning for Young Lad’s team to finally have a match. It was glorious morning – warm sunshine and blue skies, the quintessential English summer’s day. Think how excited I was when I saw them getting ready for cricket, armed with new spiked shoes, a large cricket bag and a box of cake. At last, I thought to myself, a morning wandering around the pitch. Unbelievably, they got into the car and drove off without me. Surely there’s a mistake here, I thought, and expected them to drive back quickly, laughing at how silly they were to have forgotten me. But they didn’t.
Readers I was deliberately left at home yesterday morning, with nobody but Lad for company and he was no fun as he was revising. Why didn’t they take me to cricket? I hear you ask. Well that was also wondered by the lovely people at the cricket club who were fully expecting to see me, and were understandably disappointed. She said that I won’t sit still and watch the cricket and need to be walked round all the time, and it’s irritating. Really.
So Lad and I spent yet another few hours here on our own, revising for the last bastard Chemistry exam or sleeping. You decide who was doing which. Actually, Lad did tire of dull formulae at one point and went to the gym instead – alas, Lad forgot to put the kitchen bin out before he went! I soon had that over and emptied.
I had a lovely walk in the afternoon yesterday, down to the river and up through Far Field – however due to a poor decision on my part to wander through the soaking wet mud on the river bank, I had to have a bath when I got home. Thus the house smelled of wet dog for the rest of the day, which people don’t seem to like. I don’t like some of their odours, but I’m too polite to say so.
Now, I have to let you in to a little secret. You will remember that recently I alarmed myself and everyone by swimming across the river to try and catch a duck. I’ve only done it the once and I’d be surprised if I do it again. But you see, the stimulus for my duck-catching activities came from my dear friend Ebony – on many of our walks, especially where we go up the lane to the massive fishing lake up the top, Ebony hurls herself into the river and chases after ducks. I have stood on the river bank many a time, watching her. At times I have been quite worried about how far she swims out and when dear, dear Ebony becomes a microscopic black dot in the distance, I turn round anxiously to look for reassurance from her Pack Leader. Quite often her Pack Leader is laughing or filming her on her phone. Thus I am reassured.
Well, what can I say – Lad had his last exam today. Thank heavens for that. But let’s just remember that despite the weeks nay months of stress and revision, these are only the ‘pretend’ exams. I will have to endure this all again next summer. It really is too much. So Lad now has a few days off school and She is already writing a list of things for him to do, although I imagine Lad has different plans. Lad has been told that he needs to take me for a walk each day – it wouldn’t surprise me if Lad ‘forgets’ to do this, especially if it rains as much as it’s meant to. I couldn’t care less and will be perfectly happy asleep on the sofa with him. I don’t feel Lad should be made to do jobs in his free time, and should be allowed to relax.
Do you know who’s coming round here later this week? The Carpet Cleaning Man. Regular Readers and purchasers of my book will remember this annual event and the chaos it causes. Everything has to be lifted off the floors – which turns up all sorts of unusual pieces of Lego and a dried-up contact lens, you name it, it’ll be there – and we have to move the sofa into the middle of the room for Carpet Cleaning Man to get underneath it with his noisy contraption. It is always FILTHY under the sofa and it shames me that I have to live in such conditions.
Oh look! Who will get the job of clearing all the toot out of the lounge and study before Carpet Cleaning Man comes? Why it’s Lad of course, as he has so much time now! Poor, poor Lad going from tedious revision to heavy-duty furniture moving in a mere couple of days. I know for a fact that Lad was ironing the school shirts at 11pm last night – admittedly he had said he would do them before tea, but seemed to keep getting distracted. Where is the fun in his life?
On an entirely different note, Young Lad recently had a careers advice lesson at school. Young Lad has announced he wants to be a Field Sales Executive. He announced this while he was lying horizontal on the sofa watching Family Guy. Nobody really knew what to say. I feel some words of encouragement might have been nice.
It was a marvellous day for my family’s sporting achievements on Sunday. Young Lad took two wickets at his match, and HE scored 130 runs in his! Golly! I was very proud of them but still think it might have been nice to take me along.
It is like a winter’s evening, Friends – grey and dark outside, and everyone sitting here with the lights on under cuddly blankets. Blazing June my foot.
Bye for now,