And so, Readers, to the new cricket season. Tonight I have spent a very pleasant couple of hours at the cricket pitch, walking round the boundary in an anti-clockwise direction and hoovering up the pigeon droppings. There were, much to my delight, two and a half dead pigeons on the outfield – I’ve no idea who or what managed to catch and half eat them, but what a nice surprise for me. Of course I was yanked away on the lead very harshly and shouted at, every time I attempted to eat them.
It really was lovely down there. I saw lots of friends that I haven’t seen since last summer and they all made a great fuss of me. This was wonderful. One very kind person even offered to hold my lead while She faffed around for ages with the signing on and paying part of proceedings – I truly feel valued and wanted at the cricket club. Which is more than I can say for my home.
Occasionally we did sit down for a few minutes in the clubhouse, as someone seemed a little tired and grumpy tonight, and I went along with this up to a point. What I really wanted to do was go into the kitchen at the clubhouse and empty the bins for them, but I wasn’t allowed to. And, Readers, there were no crisps under the tables and chairs for me to clear up – this was disappointing but I suppose it is early in the season. I’m sure next week there will be some food on the floor.
This morning I found it very hard to get up. Well, I got up just fine at 5.30am for my comfort break, but unfortunately I then went back into a very heavy sleep and just did not want to rise from my bed. What do you know, I was still sound asleep when Ebony’s Pack Leader came to collect me just as She was going to work! This is unheard of – normally I am sitting on the bottom stair looking at the front door, waiting. But no – today I was still in bed.
This theme pretty much continued throughout the day, and after my morning walk with Ebony I slept soundly all day. The only time I woke was at lunchtime when I went into the kitchen at Ebony’s house to look for a snack. Then I went back to sleep for the afternoon. Life is hard sometimes, Readers.
One possible cause of my exhaustion is the number of baths I’ve had to endure recently. On Monday I rolled in not one but TWO loads of fox poo and She had to bath me with a lot of moaning and whingeing. Then yesterday – yes the very next day! – I was at dear, dear Pippa’s house for the day and managed to find exactly the same pile of fox poo when we were out for our walk, that I had rolled in the day before! This meant that Pippa’s Pack Leader Male had to bath me again, and I have to say it was a much nicer experience with him. There was less of the calling me names. Anyway, Friends, I don’t know how you find having a bath but I find it rather tiring, and two on consecutive days has worn me out.
Lad did make me laugh last night, Readers. He did something called ‘pushing his luck.’ She came home from work and made grilled salmon, creamy mashed potatoes and spring vegetables for dinner – well, I use the term ‘mashed’ potatoes loosely. During the meal, Lad held up his fork and said “what on earth is this?” It was a large beige/greyish clump of matter. Yes Friends, it was an enormous lump of unmashed potato and really looked most unappetising. However it was quite brave of Lad to bring this to She’s attention in this way, and he was told what to do with it. Poor Lad. Really, how much effort would it take just to check that you’ve mashed out ALL the lumps of potato? Fancy serving this up to one’s offspring – it’s like school dinners from the 1970s at our house sometimes.
On Monday I was left alone for a few hours in the morning, which is never a good idea. The bins were all put out, the bedroom doors were shut and there was a good check round for any food that I might find. As they all left in the morning I was thrown my Kong with a smear of Philadelphia cheese in it – this was supposed to keep me happy for four hours. It didn’t. First of all I found She’s coat on the banisters and pulled it into the lounge where I went through the pockets looking for treats. Sometimes these are well hidden so I had no choice but to rip the lining into holes. The pockets no longer work as pockets as they have big holes in them.
After a while I became bored with this so I opened a kitchen cupboard and pulled out whatever I could reach, which was the carrier bags. I took the biggest, strongest one of these into the lounge and ripped it up, taking care to spit bits over a wide area of carpet. It was fun.
Dinner here tonight has been farcical. I know it’s Wednesday night which is always a bldytightschedule (yawn), but even so. Young Lad had been home alone for AGES since he returned from school and spent this time wisely on the Xbox. She came in from work in a blaze of huffing and puffing, and Young Lad was immediately removed from the Xbox and told to get ready for bldycricket while a shockingly inadequate meal of potato waffles, scrambled egg and baked beans was prepared for him. Luckily Young Lad had eaten two large pieces of lemon drizzle cake when he came in from school (I had some too) which shows remarkable foresight into how poor his evening meal would be.
Lad had to cook his own meal when he came home, as he was a little late, and thank goodness Lad had popped into Tesco and bought a pepperoni pizza, so that at least he had a healthy, nutritionally-balanced meal.
Once home from cricket training, Young Lad was hungry so was presented with a plate of something called malt loaf and butter. I’m not a great fan of malt loaf – I’ll eat it, obviously, but the ruddy stuff sticks to your teeth and you have to spend ages picking your teeth with your paw to try and remove it. It’s very annoying. Anyway everyone seems quite content now, as there is a football match on the telly, I’m about to sleep soundly in my chair, and She is watching 999 What’s Your Emergency in the other room with Gingercat.
Golly I’m tired.
Bye for now,