This morning, Readers, was very disappointing. I was excited as we headed over the bridge and into Top Field on our walk, and really looking forward to what lay ahead for me. Well. All I could think was that dear Ebony had been out for her walk in Top Field VERY early today as the supply of rabbit droppings was extremely meagre. I hoovered up what there was but it was abundantly clear that either the entire rabbit population of Top Field had been constipated overnight or else someone had got there before me. I searched all round the place but there were very few.
Readers, I was so disappointed that I had no choice but to cheer myself up by rolling in some fox poo. I had a large streak of it down my head and over one ear, and plenty along my back. It did cheer me up a little. I was called a bad name and put back on the lead for the rest of the walk.
Well what a busy weekend it’s been. As if all the going out and coming in wasn’t exhausting enough on Friday, yesterday was just as bad. I had just gone back into a heavy sleep after my 5.30am comfort break in the garden, when the ruddy alarm went off – I thought that thing wasn’t being used over the Easter break? Admittedly it was later than normal but that’s not the point. And what was the reason for this? A nice early walk for me to catch all the fresh rabbit droppings in Top Field? Early breakfast for me?
No Readers. Someone was going out FOR BREAKFAST yet again. Yes indeed, this week She was meeting her dear friend Chelseagirl in a town a VERY long way away for breakfast. I knew full well this would mean smoked salmon and scrambled eggs again and really I feel that twice in one week is just over-extravagant and showy. I of course, had my usual bowl of dry dog food, Young Lad had a piece of uninteresting toast, He had Shreddies and Lad had a strange mixture of many things, but NOBODY here had anything as nice as smoked salmon and scrambled eggs. With chopped chives on! The selfishness!
So I didn’t get my morning walk yesterday, due to this selfishness, and had to make do with He walking me to the cricket club in the afternoon. This was quite fun, in fairness, as Regular Readers will remember that I like to eat the bird poo off the grass at the cricket ground – well it’s important to help the groundsman out by keeping the boundary clean and hygienic – and so a happy afternoon was spent walking round several times seeking out pigeon droppings. Then there is always an outside chance of some crisps on the ground under the picnic benches, so all was not lost.
This was substantially preferable, if you ask me, to what She and Young Lad spent the afternoon doing. Young Lad’s football team were ‘mascots’ and ‘ball boys’ for a local men’s football team yesterday, which involved three hours standing in a bitingly cold wind. Yes, three. They had to be there an hour before the match started, for warming up and the such like, and then during the match Young Lad and his team-mates had to throw the ball back on the pitch whenever it was kicked off. This sometimes meant climbing over a large wooden fence to try and retrieve it, and Young Lad was battered and bruised by all the climbing. Poor Young Lad. He seemed to enjoy the experience though, unlike some of the adults who were close to being frozen solid. This really isn’t the right attitude and I feel more in the way of encouragement is needed.
Lad had the right idea yesterday and spent the day indoors on the sofa, doing some schoolwork and watching some rubbish on the telly. This is a far better use of time.
Today started well, with a proper lie-in for once and no alarm clock, and a fairly peaceful morning. What I liked about this morning (apart from having a bath due to the fox poo incident) was that in a sudden spurt of energy, it was decided to do some baking. She thought what a marvellous idea it would be to try a new recipe for cookies and send them with Young Lad to football training this afternoon.
Of course in the usual disorganised way of things, nobody checked the ingredients before they started, and so a panicky Whatsapp message was sent to dear Ebony’s Pack Leader in the hunt for brown sugar. There is no end to the advantage we take of our friends and neighbours, and I would like to point out that there is an Express Tesco at the top of the road.
The cookies were a triumph, I’m told, and one of Young Lad’s team-mates ate three. Nobody gave me one, though I did pre-rinse the mixing bowl when it went in the dishwasher. I would have preferred a whole cookie, had anyone bothered to let me try one.
After football training this afternoon – at which Detention Friend was injured which makes a refreshing change from it being Young Lad – there was some frantic hoovering and cleaning. To be honest, it was well overdue. I don’t feel it’s my place to say anything but really, the state of the carpets! It would be so embarrassing if anyone popped in without prior warning.
Then a hearty shepherd’s pie was made; the thinking being that it was warming and nutritious after an hour and a half of football training. Young Lad came in and said he thought he would prefer chips. Young Lad was spoken to quite sternly about nutrition and proper food and told to eat his shepherd’s pie and vegetables without the whingeing. I liked the shepherd’s pie – there was a dollop on the kitchen floor and I thought the mashed potato on the top had been seasoned just right.
I’m ready for bed, to be honest Friends, as all the walking, rolling and unsatisfactory hoovering of rabbit droppings has worn me out. I know I won’t be allowed to go to bed for at least another couple of hours, however, as Line of Duty is on at 9pm and they are all very excited. Gordon is popping round for She, and Young Lad will be on the blackcurrant squash. Give me strength.
Lad isn’t here tonight. Lad has gone to his friend’s house in a town far away to watch the new series of Throne of Games which starts at silly o’clock in the night. I would imagine Lad and his friends will be having some delicious snacks and drinks while they are watching Throne of Games. Lucky them.
Well, I think I’ll get my head down in my armchair until it’s time for bed.
See you soon,