Now this, Readers, is what I call a perfect start to the day. Gingercat and I like to sleep of a morning on a nice white duvet and this indeed used to be a nice white duvet. At present it is plastered in muddy pawprints and bits of leaves that we’ve walked in, but to be honest I prefer it that way. I also prefer it if the duvet is completely scrunched up and in a dreadful mess rather than smooth and pristine – smooth and pristine is dull. Oh it was terrifically comfortable there at 7am today, Friends, and I had no intention of getting up.
Then at 7.30am dear, dear Ebony’s Pack Leader came to collect me so I had to get up.
I do feel that dear Ebony and her Pack Leader have been taken advantage of this week. Pippa has been unavailable so I have been to Ebony’s house FOUR DAYS RUNNING. I know they enjoy my company a lot and that’s understandable but my family should have a little more thought for their neighbours if you ask me.
As it happens I haven’t put a foot out of line during my four days at Ebony’s house. I have behaved impeccably and only rolled in some cack once, but then so did Ebony and I was just being polite by keeping her company. Today there was some spillage and stealing of food in the kitchen, but I wasn’t responsible for this, Readers! No indeed – it was my dear friend Ebony who opened a cupboard and took out a packet of crackers and another one of nuts. Like Delilah the Basset, Ebony has learned all she knows from me and I’m quite proud of my coaching ability.
It’s been a very busy week in my house, with everyone late in from work and school. Evening meals have been poor, if I’m frank, and ranged from an unpopular sausage casserole which at least required a little effort on She’s part, to potato waffles and beans. This went down better with both Lad and Young Lad than the healthy sausage casserole. Wednesday night of course was the stressy pushed-for-time Football Training evening, so Young Lad and Detention Friend were playing on the Xbox when they should in fact have been putting on their football boots and there was some shouting. Thankfully off they went, leaving He, Lad and I here in peace to watch the telly or fall asleep. When they came back, poor Young Lad looked like a drowned rat and dripped all over the hall floor, as during dribbling practice, a cloudburst came out of nowhere and torrential rain joined in with the dribbling. Poor Young Lad and Detention Friend – they were soaked through and cold. I don’t feel they should be made to take part in such dreadful conditions.
This week at work Colleague gave She a book that reminded him of me. I was quite excited to hear about this, and was eager to find out what literary masterpiece it was. “A Dog’s Tale” by Mark Twain? “Whitebrow” by Anton Chekhov? No, Friends. It was a book about a cat that eats so much his stomach blows up and up and up and eventually explodes with flatulence. This was disappointing and I find the endless focus on my eating habits and gastro-intestinal system rather childish.
Having said that, I did have quite bad wind last night.
Lad is out tonight. He has gone to the town far away to hang out with his friends and do whatever people of Lad’s age do. It’s best not to dwell on it. It is pouring with rain out there – I can hear it slashing down the windows – and I am concerned for Lad’s welfare in case they are hanging out in the rain. Well, I’m actually asleep and snoring at the moment but deep down I’m concerned for Lad. Lad has not said what time he will be back, which means midnight, by which time Lad will be hungry and need to cook himself a full meal. I rather enjoy these midnight feasts of freezer food, but last time Lad tried this he was moaned at for cooking hash browns under the grill at 1am and making too much noise. I feel this is a little harsh and doesn’t recognise Lad’s independence and initiative.
Gosh it really is slashing down and if it keeps this up there is an outside chance the football pitches will be water logged at the weekend, fingersbldycrossed.
This weekend looks unexciting to me. Lad and Young Lad have LOADS of homework to do and will have to do it tomorrow as they aren’t home on Sunday. This will be difficult for Lad as he doesn’t get up until halfway through the day on a Saturday and takes another few hours to get going. This will also be difficult for Young Lad as it means trying to fit in homework around the Xbox. This is all rather unreasonable if you ask me, and it should be remembered that weekends are for relaxing. That’s what I do. All weekend. Only then are you refreshed and ready for the week ahead.
Oh for the love of God. I am trying to sleep after an exhausting week, and they are binge-watching Luther on Netflix. Something scary has just happened, as Young Lad and She have just jumped a mile off the sofa at the same time and then started doing that silly nervous laughing that people do when they’ve been scared witless. The violent movement of them jumping has woken me up and I had no choice but to give them both a filthy look.
Well, Readers, it’s been a difficult week for lots of people we know and my heart goes out to them. Life is very hard, Friends, at times and my top tip is to immerse yourself in eating as much as you possibly can, then sleeping. In this way the days pass by quite happily and you don’t have to think too much. I do hope my advice helps.
Enjoy your lie-ins tomorrow, Readers, for it is the weekend at last.
Bye for now,