Readers just look at the size of that carrot!! Compare it to my paws – it’s massive. You can see quite clearly that I am gripping on to the kitchen counter tightly with my claws – I had been there for ages before this, trying to reach a large lump of cheddar while tonight’s macaroni cheese was being made. That ploy had failed, so I had no choice but to try my luck again with the unfeasibly large carrot. I fared better with the vegetable and was given the top and bottom chunk of it to eat.
The kitchen was in a dreadful state by the time dinner had been prepared. Bits of grated cheese littered the surface and burned/melted dollops of cheese sauce covered the hob. Classy. Then some broccoli was chopped and so millions of green pieces added to the mess. Talk about a filthy cook – I feel some effort should be made to clear up as one goes along. What sort of example is this for Young Lad and Lad? Who knows; their bedrooms might be immaculate if only they had been brought up with a better role model.
It is very noisy here this evening and frankly it is getting on my nerves. Lad is upstairs doing weights and hitting his punchbag and the such like, with hideous rap music blaring out to create the right ‘working out’ atmosphere. Not to be outdone, Young Lad is playing music on his phone whilst having a game of pool with He – this is also hideous rap music though not the same as Lad’s, so I have bad music on surround sound tonight. I’m trying to blot it all out by chewing my large bone – I just found it under the dining room table! Result! – and the scraping of my teeth against the bone is adding to the vile cacophony, She says. In fact She seems a little irritated by it all.
Scrape scrape crunch. Scrape scrape grind. I do love a good bone.
I’ve had a lovely couple of days with my friends. Today I’ve been to dear, dear Pippa’s house and we’ve had two lengthy walks so really it is quite surprising that I have the energy for gnawing my bone. I will need a good sleep in a bit. It was lovely in here a little earlier, as She said it was bldyfreezing when She came in from work, and put the fire on. Now this rarely happens, and throwing caution to the wind like this is very unusual in my house. But put the fire on She did, and it was so homely and cosy. I could happily have slept in front of it all evening, but half an hour later it was switched off due to worry about the bldygasbill. Young Lad begged to have the fire back on as it looks so lovely and makes the lounge cosy, but Bills are Bills and No is No.
It really is rather cold at the moment and the thermometer didn’t make it above freezing all day today. I simply did not want to get out of bed this morning – who would! So while everyone else was running around like a headless chicken getting ready for work/school, Gingercat and I stayed put on the bed and snuggled down into the duvet. It was nice. I see no need to get up at this ridiculous hour.
Yesterday, being Wednesday, I went to dear Ebony’s house as we all know that Wednesdays in my own home are rubbish. Nobody gets in until late and I am LEFT ABANDONED for hours. It was very stressy here, actually, at tea time because Young Lad was meant to be going to football training with Detention Friend, and a lift had been organised for them and everything! (Of course no adults would be home from work in time to take poor Young Lad to football – such good parenting.) But plans can change, Friends, and Young Lad decided he didn’t “feel up” to football training after all; I suspect he based this on the appallingly low temperature outside. Thus arrangements had to be changed and there was a lot of ill-tempered text messaging and whatsapping. What on earth did they do before mobile phones?
After Pippa’s Pack Leader very kindly dropped me home tonight, I raced out to the back porch as soon as she had left and pulled down the bag of food compost. It was full to the brim of potato peelings, carrot peelings and broccoli stalks. I ate what I fancied and chucked the rest over the back porch. It looks dreadful.
In fact maybe you could try to picture what my home looks like tonight. There are the peelings all over the back porch. The grated cheese and broccoli bits all over the hob. Burnt cheese sauce on the metal bit in the middle of the hob. And an extremely large bone in the middle of the lounge floor. Does your house look like this? Of course it doesn’t. Because in your house people have standards.
I’m being told that I need to stop chewing the bone and be quiet, as “Dogs Behaving Badly” starts soon. Tonight this features a kleptomaniac basset hound, which of course is a fairly close cousin of mine, so I expect lots of parallels will be drawn. It’s so tedious. I suppose this will make a change from the tension of Prison Break, though, and there will be less call for gasping and covering Young Lad’s eyes with hands. Although it depends what the basset hound steals, I would think.
I found a Mr Kipling apple pies box in the bin yesterday – I was so excited, thinking I had managed to snaffle something really tasty. The box looked full, and the silver foil cases were all in their little plastic moulds but no! Lad had eaten the entire box and just carefully replaced all the packaging. I was exceedingly disappointed.
Well hooray. Young Lad has turned off his awful rap music and Lad has turned his down, so the only hideous noise now is Gingercat walking around and yowling like a mad banshee at the top of his voice. I will do my best to sleep through it.
See you soon,