Eleven mince pies

mince pie T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house I looked in the cupboards for a festive snack.   At long last they had all gone out and left me alone for an hour – so whilst they were having a jolly time next door with Lovelyneighbourontheright, I had a jolly time at home.  The last person out of the house may have shut the bedroom doors and the lounge door. but alas!  THEY FORGOT THE KITCHEN DOOR!!   Oh wondrous moment.

Quick as a  young reindeer I opened the main big food cupboard , and pulled out all the carrier bags.  I also knocked a jar of mincemeat onto the kitchen floor – really it was a marvel that it didn’t smash.  Nestled at the back of this shelf, way behind the mincemeat, was a new box of Tesco Finest luxury mini mince pies.  I was pleased about this, especially as they were made with all-butter pastry and some French cognac.  Excellent, I thought to myself, so I climbed into my bed with the pack in my mouth and ate the lot.  There were only eleven of them, as She had scoffed one with a cup of tea this morning, but even so.  Eleven good quality mini mince pies is not to be sniffed at.

Sensing that there may be more possibilities on the same shelf, I had another look and found a packet of Knorr vegetable stock cubes.  I took these off to my bed as well, but decided I didn’t fancy them after all.  One doesn’t like to be greedy, Friends.

So where things have been poor this year on the Christmas Tree chocolate front,  there has been some compensation in the form of fruit-laden pastries.

Nana aged 87 is staying with us for Christmas and she is disappointed about the mince pies as she had intended having one this evening with a cup of tea.  Oh well.

So there you have it.  It’s been a very busy couple of days with Nana aged 87 coming to stay, which is rather lovely even though I’ve generally ignored her unless she’s been eating something.  I did try leaning against her on the sofa last night and lolling my head backwards to look appealing, but it didn’t seem to have much effect.  I was not allowed to sleep on her bed last night, which annoyed me.

Today there has been yet more supermarket food shopping, and a vow sworn never to set foot inside Tesco again.  This might last until the 28th.  The fridge is crammed to the point of explosion and I’m not convinced this is altogether healthy as I don’t feel the air can circulate.  I would happily help them out with clearing some room in the fridge but nobody has asked me.  The mix of smells is intriguing, with some splendid cheeses and meats.  

Actually, we nearly lost out on some of the splendid cheeses as Lad was spotted last night at the fridge, long after everyone else was in bed.  Now, Lad was binge-watching Peaky Blinders and enjoying a cold beer, when he felt a little peckish and decided to start on the Camembert.  Who can blame him, Readers?  But no – She came downstairs and started screeching on about “Christmas Day cheeseboard” blah blah blah with lots of “PUT IT BACK!!!”  Poor Lad.  Do you know what he was offered instead?  A bowl of cereal.  It seems this does not feature on the Christmas Day menu.

Lad is finding the whole Christmas food thing perplexing, and I quite agree with him.  Tonight he was ordered to HELP OUT in the kitchen and make some bread sauce ready for Christmas lunch tomorrow.  Lad was tasked with chopping an onion – this was a difficult task for Lad, and he made the mistake of wiping his hand across his face at one point.  Thus his eyes were badly affected by the onion and after much moaning and tears, Lad proclaimed that onions are the most stupid vegetable EVER and WHAT IS THE POINT OF  VEGETABLES THAT DO THAT TO YOU?!!!

Young Lad too, has been forced to do jobs today.  He has had to empty the airing cupboard, sweep up the mud in the front porch and take presents to my good friends Pippa and Ebony.  Young Lad is very tired tonight, and finding it hard to wrap the one present he needs to do.  Poor Young Lad.

Talking of my dear friend Ebony, she has been in trouble again.  Ebony fancied a snack the other day and helped herself to the Lindt chocolate Father Christmases that were intended for the place settings for Christmas Lunch.  Ebony was told off and sent to her bed, but I imagine she didn’t really care as the quality of Lindt chocolate is much like the quality of the all-butter mini mince pies with cognac.  Sometimes you just have to rise above the scoldings.

I had a lovely walk at the river this morning, and we power-walked for over three miles through extremely muddy fields.  Of course I wasn’t allowed off the lead in case I rolled in something, which I found quite vexing.    But even so, it was a pleasant enough walk with a quick hello to a few friends on the way.  I’m quite tired tonight, mind you, as three and a bit miles combined with eleven mini mince pies takes it out of a chap.

Do you know what we had to do while we were out walking?  Look for Dead Bodies or Anything Suspicious.  This is due to a ridiculous conversation She had with the Lovely Hairdresser recently about the fact that dog-walkers are notoriously helpful to the police, as they often find clues and Dead Bodies in the undergrowth.  She admitted – and I find this quite embarrassing – that She often keeps her eye out for such things when we are out walking.  Dear God.

Well, my dear Friends, it is Christmas Eve and very nearly time for the bowls of snacks to be put out on low lying tables.   I enjoy this yearly ritual as you can imagine.  Tomorrow we have lots of family coming for Christmas lunch and the house will be full of people, food, laughter and smells.  When they have gone it will just be full of smells, but even so I am really looking forward to it.

I hope you all have a very happy and peaceful Christmas – those of you in Australia have already started – and thank you so much for reading.

Bye for now,



Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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