Beagle Takes America By Storm!

american flagWell ok, more of a light breeze but even so!  My blog has suddenly been discovered by friends across the pond in the US and Canada, and in the case of Australia across several ponds, some enormous continents and down a bit.  Yes!  There are now more than two readers Down Under – my relatives in Cobram and Scott’s Head are no longer isolated fans! And as for the USA – HUNDREDS of views in the last two days, and some jolly nice comments to boot.  I really am flabbergasted.  How did this come about, I hear you ask?  Well, through the magic of social media She has discovered lots of Facebook Beagle groups worldwide and joined me up.  Please don’t think this was down to any technological skill on her part – Facebook actually suggested these groups.  It wasn’t that hard.

But suddenly there are people reading my musings all over the place.  Already I have joined in a discussion about whether it is ok to let one’s Beagle lick out yogurt pots – I advised that this is absolutely fine – and I feel I have a lot more to offer.  In fact, I don’t want to get ahead of myself but I could actually see myself as the Gwyneth Paltrow of the Beagle world, and write a lifestyle column….rather than Gloop I’d call it ‘Gulp’.  You could send me your questions – mainly about food – and I could answer them for you.  The answer will be the same every time, but still valuable I feel.  Really this is too exciting.

Look, Regular Readers you could skip over this paragraph if you like as you’ve heard some of these bits before.  Several times.  To my new Readers – welcome! It’s so lovely to have you on board.  The thing is, I’ve been writing my blog for a year now – I know, I don’t know how I do it either.  It is going to take you newbies a terribly long time and a lot of eye strain to go back to the beginning to catch up, and half of it won’t make sense unless you do.  So guess what?  I’ve published the first six months as a book and you can buy it on Amazon (if you’re quick you’ll just get in for Christmas but don’t dilly dally) and so you can read the first half year of the blog at leisure.  Unfortunately it is only available as a paperback; we did try to do the ebook version but She is rubbish at anything technical and it failed miserably.  About four people bought it but it didn’t download.  Pathetic.  So in the interests of being right and proper we’ve taken it off sale until someone comes along to help.  But the paperback is excellent and raises funds for something important.  I know for a fact that it’s available on Amazon Australia as my two relatives in Cobram and Scott’s Head have purchased it.  There is the slight worry that you overseas people might not understand some of the references or my sense of humour, but really it can’t be that difficult.  Just try.  It’s called Bored Beagle; My Winter of Discontent.  Make the effort, go on.

So that’s that out the way.  I was still being moaned at this morning for my behaviour yesterday when I raided the cupboards and ate loads and loads of stuff that I shouldn’t have.  You will be relieved to know that my stomach is absolutely fine and other than needing a comfort break in the garden at 1.15am last night, I have been tickety boo.  Anyway, the moaning finally stopped and we went for a lovely long walk at the river in the winter sunshine this morning –  it really was glorious.  Up into Top Field we went, and the rabbits had been busy overnight with loads and loads of piles of droppings everywhere.  There were so many wondrous smells I didn’t know where to start – I suspect the deer had been roaming around too, and there was definitely evidence of foxes.  Yes indeed, there was some lovely evidence of foxes so I rolled over and over in it, rubbing it hard into my neck and beneath my ears where it’s bldyimpossible to get out, without a full bath and shower.  I was shouted and and She came running across the field in her wellies screeching at me, but alas it was too late.  I was plastered.

Thus I had to do the walk of shame all the way home, with She snapping “don’t get near him he STINKS” every time another dog came near me.  How rude.   Once home, I thought I’d got away with it as there was some frantic tidying up of the kitchen undertaken first, but no – before long I was dragged bodily up the stairs and shoved in the bath.

20181217_113737Does this look like mis-treatment to you?  I mean look at my face.  The strange dark thing in the bath water isn’t some sort of conga eel; it is my collar, as this had taken the brunt of the fox poo.

Well, it’s taken me all afternoon to dry off but I am now smelling fragrant and my coat is glossy.  I usually need a pre-Christmas bath anyway, so She is hoping that today was it, and that I won’t roll in anything else before the 25th as it’s a lot of bldyeffort cleaning the bath up afterwards.  

Lots of stale bread has been put out for the Stupid Starlings today, so I’ve had to run in and out all day clearing up the lawn.  It’s been exhausting.  

Young Lad had a nice day at school and didn’t get into any trouble, allegedly, but failed to go to after-school football training.  This is because Young Lad has football training for his team on Wednesday nights, and matches on Sundays and Young Lad feels that this is enough.  I quite see his point.  So instead he has been sitting by the Xbox playing Fifa since he got home.  Lad will be home a little late tonight, due to another  after-school detention for poor time-keeping.  Too much is expected of Lad – I’ve said it many times, but nobody listens.  Poor Lad.

There is a large chocolate cake in the kitchen, baked for He on His birthday yesterday, and so far I have not been offered a morsel.  I find this so uncaring.  Usually I can rely on someone to drop some crumbs, but after my behaviour yesterday I’m being denied everything.  I may have to take matters into my own hands if someone pulls the chocolate cake just a little closer to the edge of the work surface.

Well, Friends, due to the rest of the week being Busy At Work,  there won’t be a blog for a couple of nights.  I know how disappointing this is.  But tomorrow night there is a Carol Service to attend and then on Wednesday it’s Young Lad’s football training and one can’t do everything, I’m being told in a rather hysterical tone.  I’m off to dear, dear Ebony’s for daycare tomorrow which will be marvellous.  I’ll catch up with you all later in the week.

Thanks so much for reading!!

Bye for now,

Russell

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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