bed Here I am this morning, Readers, struggling with the concept of getting up.  It was far too early, as usual, and I simply wasn’t ready to face the day at 6.15am.  So I put my head under the pillow and pretended that it was still the middle of the night. Have you ever tried this? It was hard to sleep what with the noise of the hairdryer, showers, banging cupboards in the kitchen and the very noisy central heating.  I was quite irritated to be honest.

Nobody cares.

Eventually I was dragged off and had to go downstairs.  Lad was having much the same trouble as  me and I fear he may have missed his bus.  Again.

I had a lovely day today, as I went to dear, dear Pippa’s house for daycare.  We had a marvellous walk and I spent the rest of the day sound asleep.  It goes without saying that I was impeccably  behaved at Pippa’s house – much the same as yesterday when I was impeccably behaved at dear Ebony’s house.  

Alas, She had forgotten that Young Lad had football training after school last night and wouldn’t be able to collect me, so Ebony’s Pack Leader very kindly took me home.  Now this wise lady moved all sorts of things out of my reach – a tub with two rather solid home-made apple pies in, a packet of biscuits and the like. How wise and thoughtful this was.  Ebony’s Pack Leader went home, safe in the knowledge that I could not be naughty.

mess Oh dear, a fool doth think he is wise.  Seconds after Ebony’s Pack Leader left me, I was in the cupboard under the stairs, jumping up and knocking down a tub full of nails, screws and a football pump.   They went all over the floor in a pleasing mess.  Then I found a blackening banana skin in the back porch and dragged that onto the lounge carpet.  Not quite satisfied, I discovered yet another fat ball for the Stupid Starlings and chucked that on the lounge carpet as well.  Readers, I feel this was quite an impressive effort in the barely twenty minutes that I was on my own.  I try not to waste a single minute.

She could not believe her eyes when She got home.  Of course there was nothing to do but simply laugh whimsically and say ,”Oh Russell you little rascal,” or words to that effect.

Dinner last night was a meagre affair of sausages and mash in a half-hearted attempt at giving the family a warm, comforting meal after a long day at school.  The home-made apple pies went down like a lead balloon quite literally – the pastry was far too thick and like a rock. Even I would have had to take a couple of bites.  Nobody was terribly impressed and I don’t think slapping lots of ice cream over the top did much to disguise the poor pastry.  I feel Lad and Young Lad deserve better than this.  Mr Kipling would have turned in his grave.

Poor Young Lad is injured.  She received a phone call at work this afternoon, which She made the mistake of thinking might be urgent, and indeed it was from Young Lad’s school medical officer.  However instead of having one of his funny turns, Young Lad had simply fallen underneath a rather large pupil, who had landed on his thumb.  Thus Young Lad’s thumb was swollen and “injured.”   Reluctant to dash to collect him and spend six hours at A & E, She rather coldly said, “we’ll see how it is later,” and made little effort to go home early.  Readers, you’ll be very glad to know that Young Lad was managing to operate the Xbox controller okay, even with his injured thumb.  He couldn’t pull the curtains shut in the house, apparently, as this is difficult with only one hand, but it is perfectly feasible to control the Xbox when incapacitated in this way.  Well done, Young Lad.  There has been a slight increase in sympathy this evening as Young Lad’s thumb is indeed very swollen, but I feel they have been lacking in their empathy.

Lad has been to the gym again and is showing more energy than he has done for a very long time.  She says if he applied the same bldyeffort to his bldyAlevels he would be doing much better than he is.  Parents’ Evening is coming up for Lad, and this isn’t promising to be an uplifting experience.  Lad isn’t looking forward to it either.

Tonight’s Dinnertime Debate was all about the best way to ‘take someone out’ when fighting them.  Young Lad said there is a special part of the neck that renders one unconscious if hit hard, and Lad agreed with some demonstration.  Young Lad then wondered if thumping someone hard on the cheekbone has the same effect and so the tedious conversation went on.  I slept heavily under the dining room table, rousing only to see if any broccoli had fallen to the floor.  Then He, Lad and Young Lad discussed which type of alcoholic drinks Young Lad might enjoy when he is older, with He feeling that Jack Daniels won’t be to his liking.  Again, I was bored beyond belief and had no choice but to wander to the kitchen looking for things to eat.

Last evening, Friends, I felt quite playful!  Yes!  I had a look in my toy basket which has been tidied up recently, and found a cuddly husky dog thing.  I dragged it around the lounge and threw it up and down in the air – then Lad got hold of one end and we played tug-of-war for, oh about thirty seconds before I tired of the whole affair.  Fancy that – me playing!  I don’t know what came over me, and was absolutely exhausted afterwards.

Tomorrow, Readers, I am actually having a day at home for once as She is not working in the morning.    It’s nice to think I might have some company in my own home, just every once in a while.

It should be football training for Young Lad again tomorrow evening, but this of course depends on how badly injured his thumb is.  I will keep you posted.

Bye for now,


Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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