Last night, Readers, I was very lucky indeed. Due to someone’s indolence after a ‘busy week’, dinner consisted of ready meals and a few ageing vegetables. This meant that I was allowed to clear out the ready meal plastic trays – oh happy day! There were two macaroni cheese and one lasagne – to be honest I preferred the latter as there was some meat to it, but beggars can’t be choosers and being allowed to clean out THREE ready meal trays was such a treat! There was not a speck of bechamel or cheese sauce left on them by the time I’d finished. I do pride myself on a high standard of work as you know.
Well. What a turn-up for the books that was. It had all been a little disappointing up until then, as Young Lad thought he was making macaroni cheese in Food Tech yesterday and we were all looking forward to the results immensely. Imagine our distress when Young Lad came home from school and said he’d got the wrong week and that macaroni cheese is next week. My heart sank, I can tell you. What a good job She popped into the supermarket on the way home from the busy week at work and bought a substitute. Poor Young Lad – there he was, all geared up for making a lumpy cheese sauce and over-cooking some pasta, only to be told he was a week early.
Apart from that yesterday was pretty good. I went to dear Ebony’s house for daycare having been to dear Pippa’s for the previous two days. There I have been loved and cared for, while my own family choose to be out at school or work all day. It’s so hurtful.
Today on the other hand was unusual. Everyone was at school or work as normal, but neither Ebony NOR Pippa were able to look after me! Oh the panic. Of course they can’t leave me in the house on my own for any length of time as I go through the cupboards, find things to eat and generally chuck everything over the floor. What to do? Well of course – the same as we always do. Rely on the neighbours. So Lovelyneighbourontheright was roped in to letting me in the garden this morning – but as Lovelyneighbourontheright happens to be very lovely as her name implies, she not only let me in the garden for a comfort break but stayed out there and played fetch with me!!! I know! When does ANYONE from my own family play fetch with me? Oh how I laughed and ran round the garden, carefree and happy that I was actually having some attention. Then Lovelyneighbourontheright had to go home so that was the end of that.
In a pang of conscience, She had left me with a large guilt bone this morning so at least I had that to gnaw on for a bit. Eventually I tired of this, and wandered round the house to find something to do. Nobody had shut the bathroom door in their haste this morning, so I went in and emptied the bin over the floor, eating a few disgusting things as I went. It made quite a mess. It was funny.
Then I went for a kip on Young Lad’s bed. Nobody had made the beds before dashing out to work this morning – slovenly – which annoyed me as I like to sleep on a nicely made bed, but anyway I made do with the scrunched up duvet and made sure I walked some mud over it. (Gingercat was fast asleep on one of the other beds – this is how he spends his days.) Anyhow I was exhausted from gnawing the bone and trashing the bathroom bin so I slept heavily and soundly for the rest of the morning.
This annoyed me, Readers. After lunch, Lovelyneighbourontheright came round again to put me back in the garden. I had no intention of leaving the bed. She called me, and promised me a biscuit and tried to bribe me with all sorts, but I refused to come downstairs. Then Lovelyneighbourontheright had to come upstairs and try to drag me bodily off the bed but I simply put all my weight against her and wouldn’t give in. Lovelyneighbourontheright conceded defeat and left me in peace. Honestly.
Later this afternoon, once He and Young Lad were home, our peace was shattered yet again by the arrival of a new tumble dryer. Really, the never-ending saga of white goods in this house gets on my nerves. So of course there was a huge van outside in the road that I had to bark at, then two sinister -looking delivery men stealing our broken tumble dryer that I had to bark at and then the same two sinister-looking delivery men bringing in a new one. I barked at them again and they soon got the message.
It is Friday night, Readers, and Lad is out with his friends in a town far away doing the sort of things that people of Lad’s age tend to do. Sometimes She flares her nostrils when She thinks about this. It’s Slovenly Pizza night here on the sofa and I’ve been given diddly squat despite a lot of the silly high pitched whining that worked so well last week. I’ve noticed a large bar of Cadburys’ Dairy Milk in the bag on the kitchen floor – with luck Young Lad will be bringing that in for a Friday night treat soon, and I will do some more whining and begging.
Yet again I’m in for some hideously long walks over the weekend as She has missed the fresh air and exercise this week – I don’t see why I have to be dragged for miles up and over fields to make up for this. It’s hardly my fault! Neither was the problematic flatulence I had last evening, which happened to be abnormally loud but it didn’t necessitate all the snorting and laughing. They are so immature.
Meghan Markle’s beagle isn’t laughed at in this horrid way. Come on, Meghan, hurry up and finish reading my book and get in touch with me.
Bye for now,