Yes, Readers, you’ve guessed it. Today we had a family board game afternoon and Gingercat argued for a long time with Young Lad about who was going to be banker. Young Lad won the argument and set up neat piles of banknotes which Gingercat proceeded to mess up with his paws and lie on the board to stop play. In actual fact there is some important action going on underneath Gingercat’s right shoulder as the car has just landed on Leicester Square and somebody owes somebody else money.
How did this harmonious state of affairs come about, I hear you ask? Well it is the last day of the half term break, and He thought it would be nice for all four of them to do something together. This was discussed once Lad was finally dragged from bed at midday, in order to attend the family conference. Nice long dog walk together? No. (Phew). Nice long dog walk and stop at a pub? No. And so it went on, you get the idea. In the end an agreement was reached over the cinema so long as Lad still had a whole hour in which to wake up properly and look at his phone for ages.
Alas, Readers, organisation and foresight are not friends of this family and by the time She had fired up the bldy laptop to book the bldy tickets, realise the laptop had 1% of charge, search for the bldy lead, navigate through the Cineworld website to book 4 tickets (choosing the no thank you I don’t want to save 10% by joining Cineworld Plus option) and FINALLY, FINALLY get to the selected seats page…..there were no seats left. At least, none together. And whilst She is usually perfectly happy to be far away from the rest of them, it seemed churlish on this occasion when the point was to do something together.
After much huffing and puffing it was decided to give up on the cinema and have a board games afternoon instead. This pleased Lad as he wouldn’t have to get dressed for board games. However, Lad needed to attempt some homework BEFORE any family fun got underway as he has done diddly squat all over half term.
Thus Young Lad was dispatched to the kitchen to make some sandwiches, and She dragged me out for a walk. Young Lad’s sandwiches were a triumph apparently – cheese and pickle – but he only produced one small square per person which was a little on the meagre side.
In the meantime I was having a splendid time in Top Field rolling in three different loads of cack, so that I was shouted at and called “bldy dog” really, really loudly. Put on the lead rather firmly, I was led back down and over the bridge with loads of moaning about needing a bldy bath now. Luckily there weren’t many of my friends out to hear all this nonsense as it was Sunday lunchtime and most people were indoors having civilised roast dinners. So my walk was cut a little short as we now needed to factor in time for having a bath plus it was raining.
I had hoped that Lad would be able to bathe me as he is much nicer and more gentle but Lad was still failing to get to grips with any Chemistry homework and thinking of ways to make money from the comfort of the sofa instead. So Young Lad was ordered to help She bathe me, which was ok as generally Young Lad finds the whole process funny and we just laugh. We especially laugh when I wait for exactly the right moment to shake my head violently from side to side – this is to remove all the bath water from my ears – and it has the added effect of spattering the entire bathroom in dog bath water. It’s a scream, it really is. Every single time She tries to throw a towel over my head just before I start, but sometimes I do a double bluff and then manage to shake my head when the towel isn’t there. You have to take your entertainment where you can find it, Readers.
Then of course I was banished to my bed in the kitchen because I stunk of wet dog.
Out came Monopoly and a very jolly hour or so was spent,mostly in jail in the case of Lad and Young Lad, who both managed to end up there four times. On one glorious occasion She had to join them, so that He was actually the only playing piece moving on the board. Now, it is normal for Lad to win all games with very little competition, but Lad was off his stride today, Friends! By three o’clock Lad had still failed to secure Mayfair or Park Lane, and thus couldn’t build any huge hotels on them which is his go-to tactic. I was half expecting Lad to storm off in a silly temper, as he did when losing Subbuteo the other day, but all credit to him, Lad hung on in there even though he was clearly not going to win. Well done, Lad.
In an unusual turn-up for the books, She won Monopoly today, by the effective though unglamorous method of buying all the train stations and utilities. Water works has to be the most boring place on the board, but combined with the gasworks, can generate a good income.
Yes, I know.
It was quite nice having them all home, I suppose, and then a big hearty roast was cooked which meant a fantastic time in the dishwasher for me. Plus there was something with summer fruits for pudding and I have a bright purple smear across my white face.
So here endeth such days of fun, as tomorrow everyone is back to work and school and there will be lots of shouting and grunting from 6am. Young Lad has football training after school which will exhaust him for the rest of the week, and Lad is quite keen to try a week without a detention for being late. He will still be late, of course. I am going to dear, dear Ebony in the morning and I cannot wait,as I haven’t seen my dear friends for ages.
I’m very tired after listening to all the enforced family fun this afternoon, and need to get my head down.
Bye for now,