The other night Young Lad fell out of bed. This was exceedingly irritating as I was trying to sleep, and the noise of him crashing onto the floor woke me up. I do wish Young Lad would be more considerate. It wasn’t entirely my fault that he fell out; he was right on the edge of the bed and I was spreadeagled across the middle of it when I moved very slightly. He really should allow me a little more room and then these problems wouldn’t happen. Of course I was moaned at and told off. Young Lad wasn’t even hurt, just surprised, so I don’t see what the fuss was about.
I’ve been dragged out for an inordinate number of walks over the last few days, and it’s become a habit to take my long pink ball flinger thing. There has been an attempt to make me ‘play’ – I’ve done my best and chased it around, just to shut them up, but I’m still useless at dropping the ball or bringing it back. To entertain myself yesterday, I ran off with the ball to the very long soaking wet grass down by the river, knowing full well that She was wearing flipflops as She had stupidly anticipated that we would be walking on the short grass. I did laugh as I dropped the ball far, far into the long soaking wet area and she had to search through the whole bldy drenched jungle in her bldy flipflops. I did this several times and there was much bad language.
I’ve seen loads of friends down there lately, and everyone stops to talk to me. This is because I am a Published Author and quite famous in these parts. It’s also because I am exceptionally handsome and personable. One very kind lady last evening made a HUGE fuss of me, so I sat on her feet and went all cuddly and loving. This nice lady said that she feels she really knows me, through my blog, and I’m glad that someone thinks positively of me – it’s just a shame that this isn’t my own family.
On the way down to the river yesterday, I saw the older chap with the West Highland Terrier, who always has snacks in his pocket (the older chap not the Westie.) As usual I rushed up and sat down very nicely with a perfectly straight spine and a beguiling look in my eyes, and of course I was rewarded with a snack. She said I have no shame and told me off for begging, but a little further on I saw another Pack Leader that always has snacks so I rushed straight up and sat down very nicely with a perfectly straight spine and a beguiling look in my eyes, and was given another snack. Really, you can get anything you want if you sit up nicely with a straight spine and a beguiling look in your eyes – you should try it. Let me know if you have any success.
It was quiet at home yesterday as Lad and He went to watch Wet Sham lose at home to Tottenham, which caused much bad temper. I really don’t know why they bother going. Anyway, after much frantic bldy hoovering, She and Young Lad took me over the Rec for my second walk of the day, so I was exhausted by the evening. Then Young Lad was dumped with Lovelyneighbourontheright yet again as She was going out (that’s the second time in a week – selfish) and Lad/He weren’t back from Wet Sham. I was left on my own but the bins were put outside, which annoyed me.
This morning I was shoved in the car and driven a long, long way to visit Nana aged 87. There was a lot of bldy traffic on the bldy motorway as usual, but I slept throughout. I’m glad I did as Lad didn’t pause for breath all the way down, and there is only so much Backseat Philosophy one can take when driving; I don’t feel it was necessary to look quite so longingly at the Costalotta sign at Clacket Lane, though. Well done, Lad, for having such an active mind and keeping the conversation flowing so well. Occasionally Young Lad tried to join in but was generally drowned out.
Well, I was excited to arrive at Nana aged 87’s, and ran straight to the kitchen to see if Nana aged 87 had left the cat food down. She hadn’t and this was disappointing. Never mind, I won’t hold it against her. So we sat down and had lunch (well, they did) and blow me down, the doorbell rang! I rushed out to see who was there, and to my delight it was Funnygit, his lovely wife and One of The Cousins – I like these people as they are always nice to me. Imagine my horror though, Readers, when they brought in with them – A SPANIEL PUPPY. Yes! You know full well that I don’t like puppies as they are fun-loving and energetic, and to be FORCED to spend time with a new one was simply too much. Readers, I bolted out the front door and had to be dragged back in.
Well. I was made to sit in the front room with all the people and the ruddy spaniel puppy while everyone had a cup of tea. I found this quite upsetting as the spaniel puppy was intrigued by my rear end and wouldn’t leave it alone. I sat on the sofa with a very, very dejected expression on my face and everyone laughed at me. Such is the sympathy I receive.
It gets better, Readers. A decision was made that we would ALL go in the park as it was such a lovely day – and the spaniel puppy would be coming with us. So not only was I forced to socialise with it in the house, I then had to let it chase after my tennis ball in the park! I simply was not having it, Friends. I’ve never moved so fast in my life as when my ball left the long pink ball flinger thing – I was DAMNED if that spaniel puppy was going to beat me! It did, of course, a couple of times but only because youth won over age – I was quite impressed with my pick-up rate actually.
Young Lad and Lad have spent the entire day asking when the next meal will be – they were STARVING in the car all the way down, and were STARVING straight after lunch, and then were STARVING when it was time for fish and chips. I do sympathise and really feel more effort should be made in giving us the right level of sustenance.
Well I’ve no idea what tomorrow will bring, Friends, I just know that I am completely cream crackered tonight.
See you soon,