Here I am, Friends, looking as miserable as sin this afternoon when I went to visit some friends. There were some positives in visiting Sicknote today – I managed to sit on some very nice furniture, actually trying out two chairs and a sofa whilst there, and Sicknote did give me a treat from the Chedigree Plum tin in the kitchen, but really I was quite morose for much of the time. I do find it incredibly difficult to get down and have fun with young whippersnappers like Delilah, pictured here, and it doesn’t help that Delilah and I look very similar and she seems to think I’m her fun-loving brother, of which she couldn’t be more wrong. We also smell very similar. I just couldn’t bring myself to play in a carefree and whimsical way and felt I had no choice but to snarl at Delilah and snap quite aggressively at her once or twice.
I also felt obliged to go out in Sicknote’s garden with Charlie the brown lab, and bay hysterically at everyone walking past on the path – this had the effect of setting off all the other dogs in the neighbourhood and there really was quite a racket. Of course She and Sicknote took no notice and carried on drinking tea and talking.
So it was quite a stressful afternoon. On the way home we had to collect Young Lad from after-school football training, and we also gave a lift to another pupil who lives over the dry cleaner’s at the top of the road. There was much guffawing and laughter when they heard me snoring from the back of the car, but they had no idea how exhausting it had been, being anti-social and barking loudly for hours at Delilah’s house.
Young Lad had rugby last session for PE, followed swiftly by Football Training. This represents a huge increase in Young Lad’s physical activity lately and I feel it is too much for him. Thank goodness a hearty roast was prepared for dinner tonight, as Young Lad really needed the nutrition of a decent meal for once. I also benefited from the hearty roast as I pre-rinsed everything in the dishwasher and it was in an awful state. Gravy and Paxo stuffing all over the shop. It was lovely.
Over the weekend Gingercat patted She on the forehead very lovingly one morning in bed, and forgot to sheath his claws. Gingercat always forgets to sheath his claws when patting people on the face or head, only this time he drew blood and She has a big red scratch on her forehead not dissimilar to a Hindu bindi decoration. Serves her right. At this moment Gingercat is trying to chase the laptop lead, thinking it is a mouse, and has started chewing it. Lad is cross with him. Gingercat needs to grow up.
Tonight’s Dinnertime Debate over the hearty roast was all to do with Lad’s Philosophy course. Lad was explaining about primary and secondary qualities and used his mobile phone as an example. The weight of the phone never changes, therefore it is a primary quality, but the shade of grey of the phone might appear different to different people, and therefore is a secondary quality. I did think about asking what happens if you send the phone into space and it doesn’t have any weight, but decided to stay out of this discussion. It was very dull. However, Lad’s Philosophy teacher really liked his essay about the cavity wall insulation that I mentioned in a previous blog – she felt it was very interesting. And unusual.
This philosophical discussion went on for ages and was boring. Then Young Lad decided to contribute something about his day at school and told us that his Science teacher is really fat.
This morning She took me for a lovely walk at the river and we bumped into lots of friends. Several people mentioned my book – I have to say that sales have been dropping off lately, come on – and we had to stand and chit chat for ages. I rolled in some fox poo under the willow tree, as I knew I was going to see Sicknote later and tried to make myself smell nice for her. I was moaned at, and scrubbed at with a baby wipe when we got home.
On Saturday I saw Barney The Oh So Adorable Beagle on my walk. Of course he rushed up to She and lay against her legs in his oh so adorable way, and there was much comparison between Barney (a nice beagle) and me. It got on my nerves.
Yesterday was a strange old day, Friends. It being Sunday, I was fully expecting a nice lie-in and a leisurely walk, possibly with a board game in the afternoon, but no. He, She and Young Lad were all up at the crack of dawn and shoved me down the road to dear, dear Ebony’s house as if it was a work day. Then they climbed in the car and drove off. This upset me, as normally I go with them on a Sunday on the odd occasion they do anything ‘fun’. (I use the term very loosely.) Anyway. I was well looked after at dear Ebony’s house as usual, and taken for lovely walks and allowed to sit in the armchair by the window without sharing.
In the meantime they had to drive for forty bldy minutes to collect Lad from the friend with whom he’d stayed overnight, then drive for 3 hours to a town very far away. It was a lovely family celebration, and pretty AD was there as well, but I was dismayed to hear that She and pretty AD refused to move away from the food table in case the sandwiches ran out. This is rude and socially inept. There is no logic in the “we’ve driven the furthest so need the most food ” argument that they came up with, and I’m ashamed of the pair of them. Most people mingle and socialise at these events, not stare frenziedly at the dwindling smoked salmon- on- granary plate with their sharp elbows out. You would never catch me exhibiting such awful manners.
So by the time they came home last night everyone was weary and had seen enough of the M4 for a while. I was very pleased to see them and showed this by sleeping heavily in my chair all evening.
Anyway for the rest of the week everyone is at bldy work or bldy school, so I will be shipped out to the neighbours as usual. Oh to have a family that loves me and doesn’t have such boring conversations over dinner.
Bye for now,