Now that got your attention, didn’t it!¬ Yesterday I was very bored while they were all at work/school so I went into the cupboard under the stairs – I haven’t had a good look in there for ages – and found a new packet of fat balls for the stupid starlings. I dragged them out and tried to eat some – I’m not going to divulge how successful I was, but I will let you know that He was very surprised to find one buried in the bedroom. It is perfectly possible that I buried several others all over the house, but they haven’t found them yet.
I’ll let you known when they find the others.
The morning had started well yesterday, Readers, as I went to daycare at dear, dear Pippa’s house and she had someone there that I hadn’t seen for a whole year! I greeted him like a long-lost friend and licked his face whilst making my silly whinnying noise; I was SO pleased to see him! I think he enjoyed this encounter. When She arrived at lunchtime to collect me, I was busy begging for food in the kitchen as there were some cheese sandwiches being prepared and I really do love a cheese sandwich. Or anything, really. Of course I was moaned at for being rude and taken home.
It was lasagne for dinner last night, Friends, which made a right mess of the kitchen as usual. I managed to get inside the dishwasher far enough to clean the plates, and Young Lad managed to get lasagne all over his PE top. Unfortunately Young Lad hadn’t checked his timetable and thus didn’t realised he had PE again today when he chucked his kit in the washing basket. So early this morning Young Lad had to retrieve his PE kit from the washing basket and do Indoor Basketball wearing a lasagne-covered PE shirt. Poor Young Lad – this is clearly neglect. The shame of it.
This morning was quite a laugh, as She took me for a long walk by the river and up through Far Field. The reason it was a laugh is that there were loads and loads of my friends down there. This wasn’t the thing that made me laugh, and I largely ignored them. But their Pack Leaders had treats with them, which I begged and cadged from them. Oh the dogs all ran round me wanting to play – Colin the Cockapoo, Teddy the Australian Labradoodle, even Chuck – but I was simply not in the mood, Friends, and had challenged myself to grab as much food on our walk as possible. Teddy the Australian Labradoodle’s Pack Leader gave me a biscuit, and then I found some bread thrown out for the birds. This was a good start.
Two minutes later, who did I see in the distance but Sausage Sue and the older chap with the Westie who always has biscuits. I ran up to Sausage Sue and sat very, very nicely until she gave in and produced a treat for me. Then the older chap with the Westie gave me a biscuit. This really was an excellent morning so far.
And on the way back up the road – there was a finger of kitkat dropped outside one of the houses! Clearly this had fallen from some poor child’s lunchbox on the way to school but never mind, I looked after it for them. Result.
Once home I needed a sleep as I was tired out from all the begging. She said I am rude and greedy, but I couldn’t give a monkey’s.
After some frantic hoovering, there was a peaceful hour while She faffed around doing important things on the laptop and I snored lightly in my chair. Then She went to work and it was even more peaceful. I had a look round all the rooms, but the bathroom bin had been put into the bath (I know), the kitchen bin was outside the back door and all the bedroom doors were shut. This was disappointing, and frankly unusual.
Poor Young Lad was forced to attend school football training last night, as he has been a little remiss in the sporting activity department since the cricket season ended. Young Lad is going on a bldy expensive school football trip abroad next spring, and so it is ruddy well non-negotiable that he plays some sodding football between now and then. Poor Young Lad. He didn’t even have his football socks with him, but received no sympathy and was told to pull his black school socks up as far as they would go.
Not to be out-done, Lad has some school trips coming up too. One is a Biology study day that sounds utterly riveting. The topics covered on this day include “the science of high altitude survival, the secret life of strange plants, a microscopic journey into the unseen” and my personal favourite – “a practical guide to being a primate.” Lad is very, very excited about this trip.
Lad’s other trip is to a Philosophy conference to consider Aristotle’s Virtue Ethics and Direct Realism. There are no words.
Dear me, there was an attempt at a warming home-made cream of parsnip soup tonight. It had the taste and colour of parsnips, in all fairness, but the consistency of baby food. Thick gloop doesn’t begin to describe it. Nobody liked it much. Really you would think by now the lesson had been learned – stick to what you know. Fish fingers.
There was a need for some more fresh air after dinner apparently, so I was dragged out down to the river for a second time. Young Lad was told to check for homework while we were out, and quelle surprise! Young Lad says he hasn’t got any. It was nearly dark at the river and I can’t for the life of me see why I needed to be down there rather than in my chair. There was a dog with one of those silly light-up collars, and I imagine mine will be coming out of the cupboard soon. Ridiculous.
I am at dear Pippa and Ebony’s for the rest of the week, Readers, such is the extent of my family’s love for me.
Bye for now,