Oh dear. As you can see, Readers, I had a nice time rolling in some cack today and had pleasant streaks all down my back when I arrived home from Pippa’s house. Of course I was shouted at and Lad was told to get me upstairs and bathe me – this was quite nice really as Lad is gentle and makes a good job of my bath. If truth be told I don’t know what the cack was that I rolled in but it was a slimy pink/brown colour so I leave it to your imagination.
But really it would be nice to come home after a long day of doggy daycare to soft, soothing voices and a cuddle rather than screeching “look at the state of him.” Is this too much to ask?
It had been a traumatic walk home as it was, without all the screeching when I got here. I had to walk past a man whose skin colour was of the hue I don’t much like, and he was ON HIS PHONE! I was incensed by this rudeness and such poor standards – plus I had no idea to whom he was talking and it was VERY intimidating! So I had no choice but to bark ferociously at him to show how very brave I am and how he was not to mess with me. He took this on board and didn’t try anything.
Yesterday, Readers, was lovely as we went to Grandma’s house for lunch. As I raced through her front door I was greeted by the smell of a chicken happily roasting in the oven – it was heavenly. I think the chicken was happy, anyway. I was. So I dashed straight into the kitchen, ignoring Grandma completely, and looked pointedly up at the work surface as it was time for a snack. I was told this was rude and that I should make more effort to socialise before asking for food. Rubbish. Before long, drinks and nibbles were served in Grandma’s lounge which was excellent as I could do some more scrounging for snacks. To my intense irritation there were no Tempura Prawns for hors’ doeuvres! This is very poor – we ALWAYS have Tempura Prawns and I am given the dry tail bits. Instead, Grandma had served up mini spring rolls and prawn wanton things. They were ok in my opinion, but lacked the crispness of the Tempura Prawn tail. I hope Grandma takes note of this for next time. Some smoked salmon wouldn’t have gone amiss either.
Anyway I was extremely well-behaved and sat under the table while the big family lunch went on. Although, when it was time to carve the chicken I decided to sit in the middle of the kitchen floor so that should a piece of chicken come flying off the electric carving knife I would be able to catch it. This didn’t actually happen but I live in hope.
This was funny, Readers. Later in the afternoon, She said it was time for my dinner and looked everywhere for the little bag with my food portion in it. She searched and searched, knowing full well She had put it somewhere safe. No sign of my dinner anywhere. In the end, with some bad language, She had to give in and I was given a dinner of roast chicken, sprouts, peas and gravy. It was wonderful!
When we arrived home that evening, She found the safe place in which She’d put my dinner. It was inside one of her wellington boots.
Yesterday afternoon He, Lad and Young Lad all went to the pub to watch Wet Sham. I would not have enjoyed this, as it is noisy and there was no food involved. How dull. When they returned from the pub, Lad said that Yamalenko missed a sitter, but I had no idea what he was talking about and was bored rigid.
It was chaos here this morning, Readers. At 7am Lad proclaimed that he was not well enough to go to school, due to one of his ‘heads’. We all know what was probably on the timetable today, don’t we. Not to be out-done, Young Lad said he had a stomach ache and pulled lots of unconvincing faces to illustrate his level of pain and lack of fitness for school. There was some sharp discussion and raised voices, which annoyed me and I think it woke up Gingercat. In the end Young Lad was told to stop being so bldy ridiculous, and Lad was told that if he was not well enough for school he was not well enough for ANY electrical gadgets, and these were all removed. Lad seemed quite happy with this arrangement and went back to bed where he slept for five hours. Poor Lad.
Young Lad received a text message after school tonight, which read, “the Xbox controller is in the tumble drier.” You really couldn’t make it up.
Despite the fact that I was wet from my bath and I had already had plenty of walks today, it was decided after tea tonight that She needed some fresh air, so I was dragged round the Rec. This was rather chilly and with a damp coat, I won’t be at all surprised if I have caught a chill. How irresponsible and selfish. I’ve had to hunker down in my chair to get warm, and thankfully someone has had the presence of mind to pop the heating on for me. Really.
Dinner was not the best tonight, Friends, and whilst there was some effort made, the execution was poor. Thinking it would be warming and comforting, She made Delia Smith’s leek and potato soup, which is usually a firm favourite here, but Delia didn’t use leeks that had been in the fridge for over two weeks and had no colour whatsoever. Plus Delia’s potatoes were probably not sprouting tubers and rather soft to the touch. So all in all, the leek and potato soup had a dreadfully anaemic, watery quality to it and Delia would not want to be associated with it. It was shocking.
Well, I really am worn out after all the walks and barking at the man with the skin colour, and then the palaver of having a bath.
The Xbox controller is in the tumble drier. Meghan, come and get me. Please.
Bye for now,