Here I am in dear, dear Ebony’s bed. As you can see, Readers, there is plenty of room in this bed. It is nice and spacious and I can stretch out comfortably. I am the guest in their house and it is important that I am able to relax. Ebony’s Pack Leader has bought a second bed as Ebony and I used to fight over this one. The second bed is much smaller and more cramped. Ebony, who is three times my size, has to sleep in that one. I’m sure she doesn’t mind. I think they were looks of adoration she was giving me across the kitchen, not resentment.
Well what a funny start to the morning. When She got up today, there was a round brown thing on the bedroom carpet. Assuming that Gingercat had been knocking the conkers around again, She kicked the conker-like object back into the corner of the room.
Readers, it wasn’t a conker. It was another brown, hard spherical thing.
I refuse to take responsibility for this being on the carpet and I have no idea from whom it popped out during the night. Thankfully it was extremely firm in texture and very easily mistaken for a conker. I did laugh though!!
Last night was Slovenly Pizza night and I did more than my fair share of whining and begging. I was treated to a crust of garlic and rosemary flatbread, which wasn’t as nice as it sounds. I liked it though. Young Lad and She seemed to be in their pyjamas at an inappropriately early hour, and I don’t feel that a ‘bldy long bldy difficult’ week is any excuse for this lowering of principles. Gordon popped round, of course, in rather a large glass with two ice cubes and a mouldy lemon end. Desperate times call for desperate measure, apparently. He had a nice Rioja on the go and Young Lad had to make do with sugar-free tropical crush. It was a cosy evening, watching two episodes of Chicago PD back to back, which some might find depressing but Young Lad and She do love a bit of medical or police drama. And where was Lad, I hear you ask? Lad was out with his friends in a town far away, and rocked home after everyone had gone to bed. Nobody had left a light on or a welcoming snack out for him. Poor Lad.
This morning I needed a comfort break at 5.30am but as someone had forgotten to unset their alarm clock from the working week, no sooner had I settled back to sleep than the ruddy thing went off. This was very annoying. I do wish people would be more considerate and remember when it is the weekend. When it eventually WAS a sensible time to get up I jumped on top of He just as he was trying to sit up, and unfortunately head-butted Him hard across the eyebrow. Luckily my head is extremely solid and I didn’t feel a thing, but He had a swollen lump for half the morning. I don’t feel it required quite the fuss He made.
It is Lad’s birthday this coming week and so a trip was made to a town far away, for a look round John Lewis. I doubt very much whether this had much to do with Lad’s birthday, and frankly needing ‘the unbiased, sensible sales advice’ is just a euphemism for needing to be in a clean, well-organised environment. Now, Readers, rather worryingly John Lewis is in some financial difficulty at the moment or so I’ve read, and there are fears for its very future. I know! The bastion of Middle England with their Orla Kierly duvet covers and good quality towels! So you will be very pleased to know that She single-handedly helped to stem the tide of John Lewis’s demise with the purchase of a pudding bowl, at £3.99 and a carpet cleaning spray at £3.50. Loadsakids says this is a fun new game; what can you buy in John Lewis for under £5, but I think we all know the answer to that. Not much.
This afternoon there has been loads of bldy cleaning done as the house is bldy filthy and nobody else ever bldy does it. Young Lad was forced to do his homework, which was some dreary English followed by some pointless Art. Young Lad does not enjoy Art and did not enjoy making a collage of interesting textures. The pieces of random things Young Lad has stuck on his collage look as though I chewed them for him, such is his finesse with a pair of scissors.
Lad, too, finally knuckled down to some Boring Biology this afternoon and made a small effort to organise his piles of notes. Lad is cross that in Year 12 nobody gives you books to write in any more and you have to do it all on bits of paper to put into a folder. Lad says this is crap and what’s the point? I quite agree and I feel Lad is right as usual.
Then I was dragged out for a walk in the rain. Normally this would annoy me but to be honest I fancied some fresh air, and what do you know? Dear, dear Pippa was down at the river! We saw each other from afar and raced together, oblivious to all the other dogs down there. Then Pippa jumped on my back quite hard and I snarled at her, and we played like this for ages. To everyone else it looked like we were fighting viciously, but Pippa and I know the truth. A bit of rough play does everyone good once in a while Readers, and it’s not often you hear me say things like that.
There were some strong winds the other night – you will remember I was vexed by the clematis on the trellis banging into the window – and there were quite a few branches down on the ground. I also found a bird’s nest that had been blown out of a tree – this was exciting and I rushed up to see if there was a baby bird or at least an egg that I could eat, but there wasn’t. This was disappointing.
I was tired out when we returned home and no choice but to get into my bed for a sleep. I was also soaking wet and have made the house stink of damp dog.
Tomorrow we are going to Grandma’s for lunch! I am very excited about this. Grandma has promised me roast chicken and I will do my utmost to sit in the middle of the kitchen floor and get in everyone’s way. The standard of the cuisine there will hugely outweigh the cack that has been dished up here latterly. Bring it on.
Bye for now,