Carrier bags are very useful, aren’t they? So today while they were all out at work or school, I dragged a load of bags out of the kitchen cupboard and chucked them on the lounge floor. They looked nice there. Pippa’s Pack Leader came in to take me for a walk, and tidied up a bit which was a shame.
Anyway, the first few days of Extra Working Hours have been interesting. Yesterday I went to dear, dear Ebony’s house and to be honest I couldn’t wait to get down to her house. I barely looked back at Pack Leader as I ran down the road with Ebony’s Pack Leader. It’s so refreshing to feel wanted and loved. I was extremely well behaved at Ebony’s house all day, and on our walks, unlike Ebony who was naughty when we got home. Ebony went out in the garden and dug large holes where the bulbs had recently been planted, so there was soil and bulbs all over the shop. I would never behave like this.
When I returned to my own house, I went out in the garden and threw the recycling all over the lawn. In particular I found a Young’s cod in batter box and a Sparks Means Marks lightly dusted plaice box (fewer calories), so I ripped those to shreds and threw them around. The garden looks appalling now.
The other night, Lad was eating a bag of chilli peanuts on the sofa. Rather carelessly he wandered off to the kitchen to get a drink, so I felt I had no choice but to snatch the bag of chilli nuts and ran under the table. I finished them off. Lad tried to crawl under the table and pull the bag out of my mouth, but I snarled and snapped at him until he retreated in fear. They were nice. A bit hot, if truth be told, and I did need a lot of water for the rest of the evening. And I’m sure you can imagine the effect they had on me.
I had a really quite stressful night on Tuesday. We were very excited to be visited by His sister, and she came to stay for the night. This was lovely, although she would insist on sitting on the lounge floor right up against my chair which made it tricky to get in. At bed time there was some changing around of who was sleeping where, and Young Lad ended up sleeping in the big bedroom where I usually sleep. I simply did not have enough room on the bed, and in the middle of the night I FELL OFF THE BED! Yes, Readers, there was a loud thump as I landed heavily on the floor. Did anyone get up to see if I was ok? Of course they didn’t. The next morning they all said that they’d heard a loud crash in the night, but nobody had bothered to check that I didn’t break a leg or shoulder in this terrible fall. You would think that one of them might have cared. In the event I stormed out of the big bedroom and flounced off to sleep on another bed.
I had been shouted at before this, would you believe, for sitting on Young Lad’s face while he was asleep. How am I supposed to understand all these changes of arrangements? That pillow normally has plenty of space on it, and the fact that Young Lad happened to have his face there when I sat down is hardly my fault.
So today everyone had left the house just after 7.30am, and I was left. I had been given a Kong with (you’ve guessed it) out- of -date hummus in it, mixed with a teaspoon of out- of- date bean salad. I know! They only have themselves to blame. It was rank but I ate it. It took about forty five seconds to clear out the Kong. Next I played with my silly dog toy puzzle, in which some more out of date hummus had been smeared along with a chopped up carrot. Did I gently nuzzle the star shape around and around until I could get into each section? Did I heck, Readers. I banged it hard on the hard hall floor, until it broke apart. Then I gobbled up the hummus and carrot. It took fifty five seconds. What to do with the rest of the time until Pippa’s Pack Leader came for me?
- go through the bathroom bin and chuck make-up remover pads on the floor
- go through the bin in Lad’s room and chuck God knows what on the floor.
- go through the bin in She’s room and chuck tissues and a box on the floor (ripping them up first.)
- go through the bin in the downstairs loo and chuck tumble drier fluff on the floor.
I know. All they had to do was shut the doors, but this was Young Lad’s responsibility as he was last to leave the house and Young Lad failed in this respect.
So there was quite a lot to tidy up once She got in tonight which pleased her greatly. Young Lad has been spoken to about the Routine Before Leaving The House in the mornings.
Tomorrow they are all at work/school again so the goodwill of Ebony’s Pack Leader has been called upon yet again. How the people in this neighbourhood tolerate all this relying on them, I really don’t know. Young Lad is thoroughly enjoying his daily lifts to school from someone round the back, although he does have to walk all the way home, to be fair. She says that all this is called “community spirit” and “having good friends” but I think it smacks of being indolent and badly-organised. Honestly.
Golly I’m tired tonight, what with all the ripping up the recycling and dragging the carrier bags around. I don’t know where I find the energy.
Bye for now,