I have spent some considerable time this evening hoovering up the floor of the clubhouse at cricket. It was in a disgusting state, to be frank, with a shocking number of crisps and crumbs all over the shop. I found it very difficult to get right underneath the sofas and had to lie on my side, digging my paws as far under as possible. This was uncomfortable and to be honest, it wouldn’t have hurt someone to pull the sofa out for me. But no, they were all busy chatting over their chilled white wine and occasionally saying “well done” for cleaning up the carpet. Without doubt the floor looked much cleaner after my efforts and nobody will have to get the hoover out now.
Sadly this is the last cricket training session of this summer, and I am quite upset about this. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself on a Wednesday evening now, and will miss the frantic screeching of “HURRY UP” and “HAVE YOU GOT YOUR PADS/BOX/HELMET?” every week. It’s been a lovely summer of cricket, with warm evenings and plenty of bird poo on the boundary. Here’s to next season.
It’s been a very industrious day at home. She decided it was high time we had a doorbell that worked, as the last four that have been purchased and installed have been rubbish. The current one gives out a half-hearted “bing” in a whisper as if apologising for the fact that someone is at the door, and nobody can ever hear it. So armed with an electric drill and a £7 doorbell from Asda (why do my family never learn?) there was some furious DIY going on for while. We now have a working doorbell with 24 possible tunes, but being very dull in this house we’ve selected Bing Bong.
Lad has also been working hard in order to earn more money. He has sorted out all of his clothes and those of Young Lad so that their drawers are no longer full of socks with holes in and pyjamas that are aged 6-7. What a horrid job. I feel Lad is being exploited and this is not acceptable.
Yesterday we had a long drive back from seeing Nana aged 87. I slept throughout this journey, and was exceptionally well-behaved in the car. It was nice to get home and I’ve made it perfectly clear that I don’t want to go out visiting anyone else for a long time – I need some time in my own home, to settle. I really shouldn’t have to point this out to them. Young Lad and Lad had to unload all the bldybags from the car after visiting Nana aged 87, and there was some bad temper as everyone is a bit sick of packing and unpacking bags after their Amazing Trip. Tough. Serves them right for going.
In the evening we went for a lovely long walk at the river, and I was jolly glad to be back on familiar territory. I had hoped we might bump into dear, dear Pippa but she is “in season”, whatever this means, and is not allowed to see me. This really is unfortunate and I hope Pippa sorts this out quickly. She must be missing me dreadfully. We did see lots of other friends and I waded into the river, but slightly misjudged how deep it was, and went in much further than I normally do. Rarely do I let my shoulders get wet in the river, but it happened last night. This was rather scary so I clambered out quickly and tried to look brave.
It was rather nice to have everyone at home in the house last night. He, Young Lad and She all watched telly in the lounge with me (24 hours in A & E on catch-up, I ask you) whilst Lad was shouting heartily on the Xbox in the other room. I do like these sort of evenings. Actually I was rather tired and took myself off to bed during some boring medical emergency at St George’s, Tooting that was taking their attention. I do like an early night. And a long lie-in.
So today has been busy on the Home Improvement front ( a working doorbell). She and Lad also attempted to fix some lights to his bike, but this didn’t end well as She dropped the little nut on the lawn and couldn’t find it, so now the screw doesn’t actually screw into anything. You would not believe the language I heard, Readers, and it wasn’t from Lad! Really, what sort of a role model is this, to be swearing in front of one’s offspring when you lose a nut. Lad will learn nothing about resilience and keeping one’s temper from this. I was appalled. Plus, of course, the light is hanging on the wonk and looks ridiculous.
Then there was the painful annual trip to A Sensible Shoe Shop to have Young Lad’s feet measured and new school shoes purchased. This is akin to ripping out one’s own eyelashes slowly, apparently, and not a pleasant couple of hours. But what a surprise! There was no queue and the suspiciously young assistant (possibly unable to tie their own laces let alone anyone else’s) who was measuring feet was quick and efficient. Young Lad suggested celebrating this turn of events with some fruit toast in Barstucks. Nobody brought any home for me, of course.
In a further attempt at Household Efficiency, a mug of brand new pencils and a separate mug of blue biros have been put on the table. We all know they will have disappeared by the end of the week. It does make me laugh.
Well, Readers, tomorrow is an Important Day. Do you remember all the tortuous hard work Lad had to do for something called GCSEs? It went on for ever, didn’t it? Tomorrow Lad and thousands of other Lads and Female Lads across the country will receive their results. It is very exciting. Lad says there is a big party tomorrow night – to be frank, this seems a little premature as nobody knows if they have anything to celebrate yet, but there you go.
I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
See you soon,