Phew what a scorcher today! The temperature reached over 30 degrees this afternoon, and I had no choice but to lie in the full sun on a garden chair. Oh, I was told this was stupid and moaned at, but I ignored her and carried on basking. Only when I was about to pass out did I move back inside, where I lay on the lounge floor panting dramatically. I haven’t even been taken for a walk yet – it was too hot during the day, and we are waiting for it to cool down apparently.
Well, it’s been an eventful couple of days. I stand corrected, Readers, because I WAS taken for an evening walk on Saturday night, over the Rec, as it was decided we would be brave and face our fears of teenagers and illegal smells. There were no teenagers or illegal smells over on the Rec on Saturday night, so I don’t know what the fuss was about. We all had something of a lie-in on Sunday, though not a particularly good one as Gingercat started yowling at 5.30am and Young Lad decided to get up at 7.30. Most of us slouched around the lounge all morning, apart from She who met her dear friend Loadsakids for a coffee before the big food shop. She and Loadsakids held their usual conversations, which this time covered the prospect of a lovely family holiday in accommodation where, it has only just been discovered, there is no wifi. They mused over the possibility of four teenagers being happy to go there for a week, and decided the chances were slim. Some re-thinking is needed.
Next door’s Cockapoo puppy came round for the morning as usual, but I told it straight away not to bounce at me. It took no notice. Then we had a marvellous barbecue lunch, as it was such a warm day and England were playing in the World Cup. It seems that a barbecue is obligatory at such times, and I must say it smelled fabulous. Real succulent, meaty thick burgers dripping juice everywhere, and some outdoor-reared pork sausages to assuage anyone’s guilt about the meat industry. I’ll be honest, I didn’t like the look of the two dried up vegetarian sausages that sat there looking miserable – really, why bother. I mean, I would have eaten them if push came to shove, but infinitely prefer the genuine article. So we all sat around eating lunch and watching the football. I just watched the lunch. None was forthcoming – not one morsel of sausage or Jersey Royal came my way. I did, however, actually climb into the dishwasher at loading time, to pre-rinse the plates, and they were lovely.
Well, then I was a little upset as I found her packing the overnight case upstairs. This means one thing and one thing only. Yes indeed, would you believe it; She and Lad headed off to London for the night, as Lad is doing something called Work Experience at the Important Place in London for a whole week. Pity was taken on Lad, as he has to catch a train at 6.30am each day, so in a clear case of over-parenting, he was taken up the night before to stay in a hotel round the corner. This had the benefit of enabling Lad to roll out of bed, shower, eat breakfast and be where he needed to be for 8am, without the lottery that is the railway network. For the rest of the bldy week, however, he is at the mercy of the bldy railway network he has been told. So last night, I was here alone with He and Young Lad. We had a very peaceful evening watching “Where Eagles Dare,” and having a sensible short walk over the Rec when it had cooled down. He and Young Lad are far more reasonable about these things.
Well, Readers, I was left here all by myself this morning until She returned from London. I had a good long kip on the beds and made quite a mess of the sheets by rumpling them. It was fun. Gingercat and I still haven’t owned up about who made the canary yellow mess on the white John Lewis duvet the other day, and our lips are sealed. Once Pack Leader returned, there was some frantic hoovering and cleaning, which included, for a rare change, washing the kitchen floor. I walked over it soon afterwards to make a point. When She went out this afternoon, I pulled open the cupboard that used to have food in it, and threw a few carrier bags onto the floor. It still irks me that all food has now been put out of my reach, so the occasional protest of a few carrier bags thrown around is necessary. And some irritating Tupperware boxes, to make a further point. In the back porch, I found a greeny coloured box and pulled it down – I thought it might be food, but in fact it was Miracle Gro. Now, Miracle Gro is a dark green crystally type thing, which, it turns out, makes one heck of a mess when you knock a box on the floor. I didn’t eat any, you’ll be pleased to know, as I know for a fact that Miracle Gro isn’t good for dogs. But it did make a fantastic mess, and I felt my protest was complete.
Poor Young Lad had cricket training after school tonight, which I personally think is downright cruel in this temperature. It turns out they went inside for cricket training, but that’s not the point. Pity was taken on him, especially as he hadn’t been over-parented last night like Lad, so ice- cold bottles of water and Maryland cookies were bought for Young Lad and his friends after cricket. Nobody provides me with ice-cold water and Maryland cookies, you notice. She said to Young Lad, “I can’t be bothered to do lasagne for tea, it’s just too hot, I’ll do salad, ” but Young Lad protested and due to guilt issues, lasagne was duly made amongst much swearing and bad temper in the kitchen.
Well, alleluia; it has now cooled down by three degrees so I am to have my evening walk. Young Lad has already fallen asleep twice on the sofa this evening, and poor Lad has to get up at 5.15am tomorrow in order to catch the train. I feel far too much is expected of us all, and things seem to be going downhill. The only silver lining to the endless cloud of work/school is that I will be going to dear, dear Ebony’s tomorrow so that I can lie in the sweltering sun in her garden. And eat a lot of birdseed.
Keep cool, Friends.