Well, Readers, you will have noticed the absence of a blog for several nights. This is due to having been away for a couple of days, as She had another party to attend, and this time Lad, Young Lad and I were taken along as well. This makes a refreshing change, as normally we are dumped with other people or just left here to fend for ourselves. So it was that yesterday morning, I was put into the boot of the car and off we went. First of all we had to collect Lad from the friends with whom he had stayed after school on Friday. Lad had been given strict instructions to be ready at 10.30am sharp, as the bldy Bank Holiday traffic would be a mare. Lad was not quite ready at 10.30am, Readers, and was wandering around in his boxer shorts brushing his teeth. Eventually Lad was ready at 11am. This was not sticking to the original plan. Additionally, He had taken the bldy satnav to cricket, so we had no bldy satnav with us in the car. Young Lad was forced to navigate by looking at the phone for directions. The result of this was that Young Lad then threw up, but being very organised in this respect, he managed to contain it in the special washing detergent pot kept for this purpose. So it was all a little fraught by the time Lad finally got his backside into the car.
Then, Readers, we did indeed experience Bank Holiday Motorway traffic, and the journey took a little under three hours. This was punctuated by cries from Lad of, “did you bring my white trainers?” , “did you bring my deodrant?”, “did you bring my hair styling products?” and many more versions of the same. The answer was no in each case, if you’re wondering. Lad is quite old enough to pack his own bag for a night away, he was told sharply and rather heatedly, during a long tailback at junction 5. I slept throughout this, and behaved impeccably.
Once we arrived at our destination, Lad and Young Lad were thrown out of the car to go and see Nana aged 87, but I was driven for a further five minutes to the beautiful park, where She and I often go after these epic journeys, to have a walk, comfort break and bldy large coffee. I had a lovely walk through the park, but it was extremely hot by now and I couldn’t be bothered to chase the sticks She insisted on throwing for me. Once in the lovely, cool Big House in the Park, I lay down on the marble floor and had another snooze while coffee was drunk. I didn’t lay down on the marble floor, however, until I had launched myself under the tables to hoover up any crumbs from breakfast. Once I’d tidied up every morsel of croissant pastry from under the seats, then I lay down on the cool, marble floor.
We spent the afternoon at Nana aged 87’s house, where I lay in the garden in the hot sunshine. Lad was supposed to be doing the gardening, but found it tricky to get started for some reason. With some gentle encouragement, Lad finally pulled a few dandelions up. Young Lad didn’t go quite as far as this, as it was a very hot afternoon. Well, Readers, I had thought that I would be taken to the party as well, but apparently I hadn’t been invited yet again. And do you know what annoyed me? Knowing that I was to be left with Nana aged 87 all evening, the assumption had been made that I would Be A Pain. To try and head off any trouble, I had been bought a HUGE bone. Nana aged 87 was given instructions to Stand No Nonsense from me, and give me the HUGE bone to shut me up if I behaved badly. This is hurtful in the extreme, Readers, and you will be very pleased to know that Nana aged 87 and I bonded during the evening, and she now likes me. I was a poppet, to be honest, and slept upside down on her sofa all evening. Apart from when I charged up the garden after a squirrel, but the rest of the time I was Adorable. Nana aged 87 now likes me, and has learned that having a biscuit in your hand really helps to develop a relationship with me. Furthermore, I was so well-behaved that I didn’t even need the HUGE bone! I was pleased to see that She, Lad and Young Lad had all been caught in a downpour whilst waiting for 45 minutes on the seafront for a taxi, and I feel this serves them right for thinking the worst of me.
Anyway, they were out rather late, Friends, and we didn’t get to bed till well past midnight. Lad said they only left the party because the music was too loud, but this seems wrong to me. Isn’t it normally the parents complaining about the music? What did impress me was that TWO, yes TWO, people at the party said they still read my blog. How wonderful that they still find me interesting. I find myself interesting, too.
I slept like a log last night at Nana aged 87’s, but had an unfortunate leakage on the nice duvet. I don’t know why my anal glands always do this at her house. So the whole duvet had to be shoved in the washing machine to get rid of the smell. Oh dear. Then, as I was lying in the sun in the garden, something mysterious happened to my sore paw (remember? the nail varnish?), and now I can’t put it on the ground. It is so, so painful, Readers, and I’m walking on three legs. You would think they might take me to the Evil Vet tomorrow, but it’s Bank Holiday, and they don’t want to pay bldy out-of-hours fees. So it looks like I will have to wait until Tuesday. It’s nice to be so cared about. The good news is that I’m allowed to sleep in my chair without being dragged out for walks. Another good thing about today was that Funnygit and The Cousins came for lunch. This involved much banter and silliness, mostly at the expense of Young Lad, who was made to climb the apple tree for a bit of entertainment. I like Funnygit and The Cousins, as everyone laughs a lot when they’re around, and they always have picnic type food which drops everywhere. I’m not so keen on Funnygit calling me Rothmans, which has something to do with the history of Beagles.
Well, I’m back home now, and Nana aged 87 likes me so much now that she has come back here with us! Yes! She is spending a few days here, so that she and I can bond even more over a biscuit or two, and she will probably give instructions how to tidy up the assortment of weeds that is our garden. Excellent. They are bound to go out for lunch or a coffee at some point, so I’m hoping someone will forget to put the bin out, though my sore paw might be a real disability in raiding the bins. We are very pleased that Nana aged 87 is here, and I’m looking forward to a good week.
Apart from Tuesday’s trip to the Evil Vet’s.
Bye for now,