I refuse, Readers, simply refuse to wear nail varnish. I have never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life. Oh it’s all very well the Evil Vet telling her to paint my slightly split toenail with clear varnish, but in all honesty it is girlie and inappropriate. So when an attempt was made to apply the horrid smelly stuff, I protested in the strongest terms by growling and snapping. The result of this was that the Hannibal Lecter muzzle was put on me, and He held me in a headlock while She quickly dabbed the nail varnish on. It hurt and I tried hard to attack them both through my muzzle. I made my point, because after this there has been no repeat application. I will not tolerate this behaviour.
I much prefer the painkillers that the Evil Vet gave me. These are squeezed onto my food of a day and I don’t even notice them. I have been limping slightly less today, but am still on Reduced Mileage which is annoying her. Of course, down at the river lots of people stopped to ask how I got on at the Evil Vet’s, and of course there was sniggering about the slightly split toenail. To be honest I’ve had about as much sympathy as the time I had Rudder Tail. This is a painful affliction caused by going in the cold river and getting cramp in one’s tail, and then you can’t bend it for days afterwards. Rudder Tail is no laughing matter. Though I was laughed at plenty. Meghan Markle wouldn’t laugh at these things – only a couple of weeks to go, Friends! I need to work out how to get up to Windsor. But I am determined to be there amongst the crowds, and throw myself into the open Landau carriage. I hope it doesn’t rain, as they will be using a closed carriage in that case, which will be trickier to negotiate.
Yesterday was a good day, as I was at dear, dear Ebony’s house and I was much nicer to her. And guess what?! Ebony has worked out how to open the food cupboard in her kitchen! Oh yes, she pulls out the chocolate digestives and tucks in just like I do at home. Needless to say I’ve been blamed for this. How is this my fault? Just because Ebony never opened kitchen cupboards before I went round there, doesn’t make it my responsibility. I resent the implication. Anyway. I had a nice time and wasn’t that fussed about going home, if I’m honest. I was upset to hear today that poor Ebony had been traumatised at the river this morning. Whilst trying to get out of the water, she grabbed hold of a log which then kept bobbing away. She simply couldn’t get the leverage needed to exit the river, and this was very frightening for her. I hope she was given more sympathy than I ever am.
Last night was, of course, Slovenly Pizza night on the sofa which was very pleasant. As it was the end of the bldyweek, Gordon popped out of the fridge for her, and He had a couple of nice glasses of red. Lad was extremely late home from school, as he dropped into the barbers for a haircut. Quite how this haircut took this inordinate amount of time is beyond me, but Lad seems very pleased with it. Lad spent the evening shouting at the Xbox as usual, fortified by chocolate and diet 7Up. Young Lad was also fortified by these things to lay on the sofa all evening watching telly. He needs to conserve his energy for a) revision for end of year exams which take place next week and b) a cricket match on Monday. Young Lad is wicket-keeper, which suits him well as it involves standing fairly still in the same position for a lot of the time. He will, however, have to bowl and bat as well so might break into a sweat at some point. Poor Young Lad.
In a pleasing change to routine, nobody had to get up early today! He had a rare day off, and so once Gingercat and I had our breakfast at 6.30am, and I had a leisurely comfort break in the garden, we went back to bed for a kip. This was most enjoyable. They have been home all day, which also makes a change, and Lad and Young Lad were forced to do their revision in the garden in order to get some sunlight. We’ve had a lovely day in the sunshine, and the hanging baskets have been planted, as have the tomato plants. Young Lad has played a lot of football which hasn’t done the tomato plants much good, and there are now bits of tomato plant lying on the ground. There was some moaning about this and why do I bldybother has been muttered a lot. Over lunchtime it was Boys Only in the garden as She popped out to meet pretty AD for lunch. The intention was to eat alfresco in the warm sunshine outside Bill’s; however, there was a misjudgement about which side the seating area was, and it had no sunlight whatsoever. This was disappointing, and the image of enjoying a sharing platter basking in the sun was rudely shattered. Serves them right for not sharing the sharing platter with me. I would particularly have enjoyed the breadcrumbed halloumi sticks, if anyone had given me the chance.
Ironically, Lad, Young Lad and He were served up with Young’s Cod in Batter and chips tonight. This seems unfair, when one family member has enjoyed grilled garlic mushrooms, tomato hummus (what is the appeal of that stuff?!) and corn tortillas. I feel this is selfish.
Tomorrow is meant to be another beautiful day, Readers, and I’ve heard that there will be a lot of baking going on here, ready for cricket on Monday. This means there will be lots of cake mixture to lick off the front of the cupboards. Excellent.
Bye for now,