Deer Me

Muntjac This morning, Readers, there was an abundance of wildlife down by the river.  As well as the usual sarcastic squirrels, who laugh at my attempts to catch them, there were ducks flying overhead, moorhens paddling around and – over in Top Field – a deer!  I’ve never seen one of these outside of Hartyfarty Forest, and I had no idea there were any living so close to me.  To be fair, I didn’t actually see the deer this morning, because I was lagging behind rather a long way.  There was the normal fast marching around Top Field and I really couldn’t be bothered, so stayed in the middle having a relaxed sniff around the rabbit droppings.  All of a sudden She saw Fast Movement up ahead, and wondered whose dog was legging it across the field, but no!  This was no dog.  With the swiftness and grace of a gazelle, a deer dashed from the top of the field to the bottom.  She says it was a Wondrous Sight, but I was about half a mile behind and didn’t spot it.  This is disappointing, as I’m a hunting dog, but I was concentrating hard on the rabbit droppings.  Next time I’ll be ready.

Yesterday there was an incident that caused me some dismay.  We bumped into Teddy the Golden Australian Labradoodle , and again he was with his Pack Leader’s friend whose skin colour I don’t like.  Now,  I thought he had learned his lesson, and knows quite well to have treats in his hand, and that way I can see beyond the skin colour.  But it appears not, Readers.  Yesterday he had no treats with him.  So, even though only the day before I had run up to him wagging my tail,  I had no alternative but to bark furiously at him, backing away and cowering.  I was shouted at and told I’m rude and disrespectful, but hopefully this young man will not make the same mistake again. Thankfully other Pack Leaders at the river had treats with them, and Sausage Sue in particular responds well to my begging.  Further on, I had to bark frantically again as there was a woman with No Clear Purpose by the bend in the river.  This lady didn’t have a dog with her, so had no reason whatsoever to be standing under the willow tree.  I cannot bear people loitering like this, and I knew that danger was imminent with this person of middle age.  I barked and barked, to make sure she realised I would fight off any attack. Oh I was shouted at again, but really there is no need for anyone to be standing quietly by the river on a beautiful day at 10.30am. It’s downright nasty.

Yesterday afternoon was excellent, however.  We went to visit Sicknote again, and I spent a very pleasant afternoon in her sun-drenched garden, which She says has a bldy microclimate of its own, as it was bldyfreezing in our garden.  Sicknote was extremely pleased to see me, and I barged my way  straight through the gate and into the kitchen, as there was bound to be some food in there. Charlie the large brown labrador was pleased to see me too, and it makes a pleasant change to actually be wanted.  I behaved very well, I felt, barking at anyone that walked past the hedge and particularly at the yappy terrier things that live next door.  They got on my nerves after a while, so Charlie and I went inside and had a kip on the lounge carpet.  Now, I don’t normally lie on a floor, as you know, so did try to get into a rather nicely upholstered armchair, but was shouted at so had to give up on that idea. I was given a treat from the Chedigree Plum treat tin, to reward my excellent behaviour, and then I made it clear that one biscuit wasn’t really enough.  I wish we had a Chedigree Plum treat tin.  I had a lovely afternoon and didn’t really want to leave.

Last night Young Lad had cricket training, and yet again I was left at home as it was too bldycold to keep walking me round the bldypitch.  It’s now week two of the cricket season, and I haven’t been taken anywhere near the cricket ground yet. This has been remarked upon, by people who are used to seeing me wandering around the perimeter of a summer’s evening, eating the bird poo. I have been missed, and understandably so.  We can only hope that I’ll finally get there in week three.  Young Lad was so excited today, as tonight was going to be the first cricket match of the year!  There was frantic packing of pads, helmet, bat, kit, box (I’m not sure what sort of box) last night, so that he would be Ready for Tonight.  Alas, three drops of rain fell last night, and the match was called off.  Poor Young Lad. Luckily there was Table Tennis at lunchtime, and Cricket Training after school so he has not been totally without activity. Young Lad is now lying on the sofa watching Police Interceptors, as he is quite worn out.

Poor He still isn’t home from work and I haven’t seen much of him this week.  I might wag my tail when He comes in, but I won’t get out of my chair to greet him as that’s pushing it. Lad has had a hard day of Art all day.  The good thing about this was that he didn’t have to wear school uniform, which made Lad very happy.  Pity was taken on Lad, having such a hard day, and a Four Cheese Ravioli from SparksMeanMarks was bought for his tea.  This, in turn, has made me very happy as I always run out to the garden with the plastic tray. It’s a tradition.

Tomorrow I’m at dear, dear Ebony’s house, and I’m looking forward to this.  I will be keeping a wary eye on what sort of heavy duty bandage she has on her sore paw, as I’ve been thumped round the head twice lately.  We have such fun.

Do you think Meghan Markle has a Chedigree Plum treat tin?  I bet she does, and it’s probably next to the Paxo stuffing mix.

Bye for now,

Russell

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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