Up the pub

s-l300 Yesterday, Readers, I was forced out on not one, not two, but THREE walks.  This is utterly ludicrous.  It started well enough in the morning, when He and Young Lad took me down to the river – this was a nice, pleasant, relaxed walk which is exactly how walks are meant to be.  Then, after lunch, She needed her bldy exercise quotient, and dragged me out again – but of course it was the usual speedy stomp, with lots of shouting at me to hurry up.  Neither pleasant, nor relaxed for two miles.  And THEN, Readers, soon after we got home, He suggested we all go for an evening drink up the road and blow me down, my lead was put on yet again and I had to walk up to the pub!!  I could barely move.  Once in the pub, I spread myself out across the swirly carpet and slept.  I was shattered.

Today has been SO much more reasonable.  He, She and Young Lad had all left the house by 7.30 this morning to go back to school/work, and I curled up on Young Lad’s bed with Gingercat for a peaceful lie-in.  Lad was in his bed, as there was a Staff Training Day at his school, and I was very happy with this, as I knew for a fact that Lad wouldn’t be dragging me out for long walks, even though he had been instructed to.  In fact, Lad gave me a very sensible walk up to the Post Office, through the rec and home again.  Perfect.  No shouting at me, no stopping to gossip with all the other Pack Leaders, no checking the Runkeeper app to see how fast we were going. Lad has the right idea and it was a lovely day – when not walking to the Post Office, I slept soundly by his side on the sofa.  Lad did more revision, and frankly I don’t know how he still has the will to live.  He ate a very healthy balance of tomato soup and crisps for lunch, as yet again there is NOTHING to eat in this house.

Young Lad’s first day back was very full-on, and I should think he’s worn out. Not content with PE this morning, Young Lad went to Handball club at lunchtime and then Cricket training after school! This meant three separate lots of shoe-changing during the day, which is exhausting in itself.  It gets worse as the week goes on, with Wednesday being a non-stop whirr of activity (school cricket at lunchtime,  local cricket in the evening….) Poor, poor Young Lad.  Whilst I am glad that he is enjoying Healthy Outdoor Pursuits such as these, I do think the last two weeks spent lounging on the sofa were very important preparation for all this.   One has to have a balance in life.  Young Lad has also just announced it’s Food Tech day tomorrow, but before he was moaned at, realised it’s Theory so there is no need for the stressy look through the food cupboard for ingredients. One less drama.

I’m in a very barky mood tonight.  Being a light evening, there are lots of people walking past my house taking their dogs out for an evening stroll.  This is annoying me intensely and I feel the need to bark loudly and rather hysterically at each one.  Young Lad and She keep telling me off.  Lad is upstairs doing something about his pigsty of a bedroom – he came  back after thirty seconds, saying that he’d finished, and was sent back to try a little harder.  Wet Sham are playing Stoke tonight, so He has gone up to London to watch the match.  Good luck with that. He hasn’t missed out on a great dinner, to be honest; it was macaroni cheese (yes again), but  She wasn’t concentrating whilst making the sauce, and it was decidedly lumpy.  This is what happens if you try to top up Young Lad’s  school dinner money account (£3.20 in arrears today), text your friend Sicknote and whip up a smooth roux all at the same time.  Something has to give, and it was the consistency of the roux.  Not enough beating at the flour and butter stage.   Disappointing.  However all was not lost, as Young Lad, Lad and I enjoyed it. Lad and Young Lad had HUGE portions, seconds and thirds, whilst I had a tiny scrape as the bowl was put in the dishwasher. I don’t get offered seconds, you notice.  There was apple crumble for pudding, and I wasn’t offered this, either.

Readers, I feel very sorry for dear, dear Ebony today.  Feeling inquisitive, she jumped over her garden fence into the neighbour’s garden, misjudging this slightly and landing on some sharp stone, which cut her paw.  She received very little sympathy from her Pack Leader, who said she shouldn’t have been jumping over the fence in the first place.  However she did bathe it and put a bandage on, and now poor Ebony looks quite sorry for herself.  Ebony and I don’t get the right level of sympathy from our Pack Leaders – it saddens me.

Young Lad has just announced that he does, in fact, need his PE kit for tomorrow for Basketball at lunctime. Unfortunately it has macaroni cheese and apple crumble down the front, so now has to be bldywashed and bldydried by tomorrow morning.  I sense some displeasure about this.  Poor Young Lad – instead of celebrating his new-found enthusiasm for Physical Activity, he is being moaned at for being a messy eater.  Young Lad is unappreciated at times, and I know how he feels.

Golly, those three walks yesterday have really taken it out of me, and I have no choice but to sleep heavily and snore extremely loudly all evening through whatever they are watching on telly.  It’s probably rubbish, anyway.  I have my clinically depressed facial expression on at the moment, which is actually sheer exhaustion but they choose to say I look miserable.

Meghan Markle would never say I look miserable, or make me walk up the pub.

Bye for now,

Russell

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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