In this diagram, Readers, you can see me really enjoying a game of Subbuteo. Regular Readers will know that Gingercat and I love it when anyone gets a board game out at home, as we like to lie/walk all over the middle of it. So when Young Lad set up his Subbuteo, I was very excited. You may be wondering why you can’t see any players, and whether I’ve chewed them up. I haven’t. Young Lad has arranged them all in one corner of the pitch, having a fight.
This was yesterday, and our walks both then and today have been to the rhythm of My Perfect Cousin, by the Undertones. More dated early Eighties tunes. This is because there is a line in that song about Subbuteo, so whenever Young Lad’s football game comes out (twice a year), we have to sing, “he always beat me at Subbuteo, cos he flicked to kick, and I didn’t know.” Dear Lord. Other than that, it’s been a reasonable couple of days, I suppose. Yesterday I was FINALLY left on my own for an hour, while Young Lad and Lad were dragged bodily out of the house and forced to go into town. Some bribery was needed, in the form of lunch at Costalotta, but this was a necessary evil in order to get them out in the fresh air. Anyway, I made the most of my “me” time, by playing the Let’s Remove an Important Ingredient game that I made up. I opened the food cupboard, dragged the half-full packet of macaroni into the lounge and ate it. It was crunchy. I hid the packet under the table, as I’m not always untidy. Then I was still rather bored, so I pulled her big winter coat off the banisters and into the lounge. I knew darned well that there had been some dog treats in the pocket on our walk in the morning, and was determined to find them. So determined, in fact, that I ripped a massive hole in the pocket, looking for them. This was worth the effort, as I found them and they went down a treat after the crunchy macaroni. Of course I was shouted at when they came home from town, with the silly, “WHO did this?” rigmarole that we go through each time, but I wasn’t bothered.
The weather was still rubbish yesterday, but of course I was dragged out for two long walks, totalling nearly five miles. Hideous. We bumped into Rocco the Inspirational Three-Legged dog, and of course had to stand there for absolutely ages, telling him how inspirational he was, as he rolled around on the grass waving his three paws. I was bored witless. Rocco thoroughly enjoyed all this, and milked it for all it was worth. Tedious. The evening was more enjoyable, as it was Friday Slovenly Pizza night, so I whinged and whined quite a lot, to make the point crystal clear. There was some success in terms of thin crusty bits and some carrots. It was peaceful in the lounge in front of the telly all evening, although we could hear Lad playing something called Fortnite on the Xbox in the other room. This seems to be very exciting, because he frequently shouted, “Dear Me How Vexing!!” and things like that. I’m glad he was enjoying himself.
I had hoped for a lie-in this morning, being Saturday, but no, He had to go into work very early, so I was disturbed at 6am as usual. But Readers, the sun was out! What a beautiful day today at last – warm sunshine in which to bask. They had lunch in the garden, which I always enjoy as I can sit with them and beg, and really everyone had a spring in their step and extra energy today. For example, Lad did a couple of hours of gardening, interrupted every so often by the need for a break or ice lolly. He even Took His Top Off. Lad pays much attention to detail when weeding. What he lacks in speed, he makes up for in thoroughness. Slightly annoyingly, Lad dug up what appeared to be an old bone of mine, that I had buried a couple of years ago. There was a mushroom growing out of it. I’ve now got to find a new burial place, but that’s ok as She dug over the big tubs in which they attempt to grow carrots etc. These tubs are now full of nice freshly dug soil, so I will bury my bone back in that. It will give me something to do. So Lad was out in the sunshine for a long time this afternoon, and so was Young Lad! Now Young Lad didn’t do any gardening – he was tired out from putting away four huge bags of food shopping – but he was made to stay out in the sunshine for several hours in an attempt to make his skin look less transparent.
When He came home from work, we were all out in the garden! Yes, you would easily have mistaken us for a normal family, chatting to the neighbours and everything. All that because the sun came out. She popped over to ToysRPetsRVetsRuS or whatever it’s called, and bought me a new whistle at long last. Of course there was a lengthy conversation with the lady on the till about bldy beagles and what a bldy nightmare they are. Nice.
Readers, I don’t like the exposure to chemicals with which I’ve been confronted today. Firstly, the Oven Has Been Cleaned. It was utterly disgusting, and some very heavy duty Oven Cleaning Stuff had to be brushed all over the shop this morning, and left on for hours. There were lots of HAZARD!! warnings all over the box containing this stuff, with severe warnings of what would happen if anyone touched it. Well She ignored the advice about wearing gloves up to your shoulders, and some of the stuff splashed on her arms, so we’ll find out how caustic it really is. Then, if hydrogen peroxide wasn’t enough, I was grabbed roughly by the scruff of the neck this afternoon, and Flea Treatment was squirted on me. I now have nasty sticky bits on the back of my neck. None of this can be safe.
After my second long walk tonight, we came home to find Lad, Young Lad and He all playing football in the garden! It was really rather remarkable. Admittedly Lad was in bare feet which wasn’t a great idea on the wet muddy lawn, but they were having such a nice time. A family game of football! So I joined in, by running around frantically with a tennis ball in my mouth, growling. I wasn’t sure how to play football, but it was important to embrace the Good Mood brought on by some sunshine. It’s meant to be cloudy tomorrow.
Well, I’m worn out from the long walks, football, Subbuteo and general goings-on. Time for a kip.
See you soon,