This diagram, Readers, shows the problems I had with one of the cushions this morning. I simply could not get comfortable with the damned thing, no matter how I pulled it around. In the end, I decided to pull all the insides of it out, which made all the difference. Oh don’t worry – the zip on the cushion has been broken for well over a year and nobody in this slovenly house has bothered to sew it up. I didn’t break it; I’m not wilfully destructive you know. Anyway, don’t I look comfortable here?! It was worth the effort.
Yesterday it rained rather a lot ALL day. Nonetheless I was dragged out for two walks, and we both came home extremely muddy each time. Lad was working hard again all day on his revision, and Young Lad wasn’t working hard at all. In fact, at 5pm Young Lad realised he’d accidentally left his pyjamas on all day, but obviously it wasn’t worth doing anything about it at that stage. Disgusting. In the morning She ‘popped into town’ and met an old friend. Just for a change they swapped stories about teenagers, exams and Life in General. Sigh. In the afternoon, Readers, after Lad and Young Lad had gourmet fish finger sandwiches for lunch again, She went out to visit someone, who for the purposes of my blog will be known as Batch. Readers, I simply will not go into details about what they discussed – it is really rather ridiculous and I don’t know what the matter is with them. All I will say, is that it concerns the Future Of My Blog. Now Batch, who knows a thing or two about these things, started fiddling around with the Text Widgets of my blog, because, he says, it is rather bland. The rudeness! I know what I’d like to do to his Widgets!! Bland, indeed. But to be fair, he is only trying to help so I will let that one go. For now. But I will be watching him carefully.
Readers, I am rather worried about Lad and his state of mind. At lunchtime yesterday, whilst revising, he asked her if She had a ouija board he could borrow. I know! Who asks their mother that kind of question?!! Aghast, She said of course I haven’t got a bldyouijaboard why do you want a bldyouijaboard? Lad said he wanted to file a sharp piece of nail. Lad needs to learn the difference between a ouija board, and an emery board. Then today, whilst studying Maths, he asked whether a constant was a letter. After much discussion, he realised the difference between the mathematical term “constant” and a “consonant.” I fear Lad is working way too hard and needs to have some fun.
Last night, dear, dear Ebony’s Pack Leader sent us a message, to say she’d been baking again. Remember the Easter Sunday carrot cake of which Ebony checked the consistency? Well, lessons have not been learned. This time it was an apple cake, which sounds delicious, and had been pushed to the back of the working surface to cool down. This was a mistake. It should have been locked in the garden shed if they didn’t want Ebony to eat half of it again. I fear people need to learn from their mistakes, not repeat them.
I was rather bored this morning, and unusually for me, decided to play up a bit even though there were three people at home. (Only poor He is still getting up at 6am and going to work.) So I had a look in the downstairs toilet to see if there was a snack in the bin.
There wasn’t, but I threw some rubbish round the floor anyway. The JUNK that Lad has been eating and drinking over this Easter break is shocking. I suppose he needs some pleasure in his life. Early on today, Lad and Young Lad were left here yet again (I suspect they are beginning to feel as unwanted as I do) while She met Loadsakids for brunch. Now normally this involves them both hugging a cup of coffee tightly for comfort, whilst shaking their heads about bldy dogs/bldy teenagers/bldy exams/ bldy school holidays/bldy clearing out the loft etc etc. How much more satisfying this was for them today, as they were able to jab forkfuls of scrambled or poached egg in the air to emphasise a point! Really rather therapeutic. I think they’ll be doing this again.
Down at the river on my first walk today, I saw in the distance the petite but bouncy form of my dear friend Lola, the smaller beagle. Now Lola is smaller than myself, Barney the Oh So Adorable Beagle, or any other of the ruddy beagles down there. Lola is sweet and pretty. And prone to naughtiness. It was entirely Lola’s fault the other day, that I ended up running into someone’s back garden after her – it was Lola’s idea, and I was simply following along like a responsible friend, to ensure her safety. There was no need to scream GETOUTOFTHATGARDEN at me and run like a banshee across the grass waving the pink ball flinger thing. I needed to make sure Lola was safe. Do I get thanked for this sense of responsibility? Do I heck. Lola was down there again today, and we had so much fun leaping around. I decided not to push my luck and head to the back gardens again though. On tonight’s walk – quite a balmy evening, the sun nearly came out! – I waded through the floods in the field which may or may not be sewage infested. I was shouted at, yet again.
Paperwork has been attempted here today, Readers. This involves opening all the house insurance/pet insurance/car insurance reminders that came in February and there hasn’t been bldy time to look at. They have, of course, auto-renewed at three times the price of those She’s found on Moneysavingsupermarketty thing tonight. There is now a bad mood and tomorrow’s jobs include ringing each of the insurance companies to see how much it will be to cancel and transfer to a cheaper one. This is a rightbldyfaff and She is annoyed. Friends, how many times have I said it. Time. Management. It is now April, and Moneysavingsupermarketty thing should have been looked at in February. It’s not difficult.
Readers, Young Lad left the house today! Yes, showered and dressed too. He hung out with his friend in Dreggs and Poundworld for an hour, having a lovely time. Such simple pleasures. Tonight, it’s Boys Night in the lounge, as He, Lad and Young Lad are all watching Manchester City in the Champions League. It’s dull, but less so than the ScandiNordiNoir drama thing that will be on in the other room. Over dinner, the outcome of tonight’s match was predicted by Lad, who is bound to be right, and there was a Heavy Discussion about the right to protect one’s property. Lad feels strongly that if one’s property is being burgled, one has the right to smack the burglar as hard as you like, and if you kill them that’s not your fault. Lad has chosen to do A Level Philosophy, remember.
Golly I’m ready for a kip in my chair. Keep well, Friends.
Bye for now,