I had a problem with my ears, Readers, during my walk this morning. Up in Top Field, I had a lot of difficulty hearing her as She screamed at me to hurry up – there were some interesting smells right in the middle of Top Field today, fairly rank admittedly, but they interested me. I was so absorbed in finding the source of the smells that I didn’t notice She had stomped all the way round Top Field and was back at the beginning waiting to Move On. However loud the bellowing was, I just couldn’t hear it. Strange. Then later, near the river, the same thing happened! I was concentrating so hard on the manky odour on the flooded field (I suspect some raw sewage lies not far beneath), that I failed to hear my name being barked at with me. Many times. When we got home, She rushed to ToysRPetsRVetsRUs or whatever it’s called, and bought some ear cleaning stuff to try and improve things. I doubt it will.
But really, an excellent day today. I had a lie in, as I’d hoped and boy was that nice. Lad had to get up much earlier than usual for a Saturday, as He and Lad were going to Wet Sham again. They left here at 12.30pm, so you can see how early Lad had to stir from his room. Poor Lad. Young Lad and He went into town before this, to do some Shopping For Mothers’ Day, and then Young Lad went back into town again this afternoon to hang out with his friend. He was given some money as a treat, to buy a sausage roll or such like in Dreggs, but preferred to spend this on some sort of silly points for his Xbox game. What a waste. I would have loved a Dreggs sausage roll. But what a lot of movement from Young Lad on a Saturday! Two trips into town. By car, both times, it has to be said. I had a lovely long walk this morning, as mentioned earlier – didn’t see many of my friends but was dragged for three miles. I pretended I was Really Tired when we got back, and lulled her into a false sense of security.
When She dropped Young Lad in town this afternoon, I dashed upstairs and found Lad’s school rucksack in his room. Rummaging through, I was delighted to find some left- over packed lunch and ate that, chucking the foil wrapping over the floor. Then I found the remnants of a bag of sweets, and threw that around so that the sugar went all over the place. I went back for another look in his school bag, but it was difficult to see with all his school work in there, so I pulled out all the sheets of paper and dumped them on the floor as well. Success! Right at the bottom of his bag was an old, stale Hobnob bar thing. I took it downstairs and tucked it in the corner of my chair, to have later. Not bad for the twenty minutes She was out the house.
Readers, I had to laugh this morning. There has been Frantic Hoovering of the bldyfilthy house, and I was very amused by this. In the lounge, the hoover didn’t seem to be sucking anything up. Puzzled, She had a look up the nozzle thingy, and guess what? It was full of uncooked penne pasta! That must have been the day I threw the packet of pasta round the lounge, and someone has helpfully tidied up by hoovering it all up, so the hoover was completely clogged and it took a long time to bang every single piece of bldypennepasta out of it. V funny.
Then, I was dragged for a second walk this afternoon as we are on a Weight Loss mission. It isn’t working for either of us. This was a much more fun walk, Readers, as I bumped into dear, dear Pippa and she knocked me over, jumped on me, sat on my back and lots of fun things like that. I chased her, and she chased me, and I snarled and snapped, and we had a splendid time. We walked another two miles, so that is Five Miles today, Readers. Unnecessary. I am absolutely exhausted now, and fit for nothing tonight. By the way, you know the carton of chopped tomatoes that I ate? Not great for the flatulence problem. Also some interesting little presents for her to clear up in the garden this morning. You really wouldn’t think that chopped tomatoes would cause this much gas, but I think they are packed with fibre, wherein lies the problem. You live and learn. And the chopped tomatoes that were bought this morning are in a tin.
The assistant in ToysRPetsRVetsRUs or whatever it’s called, apparently has a beagle. There was some discussion about a) how badly behaved we are and b) a world record attempt at gathering together the largest number of beagles in one place ever. This sounds a marvellous idea. I don’t want to go, though, as I like to be the Only Beagle In The Village, as my Regular Readers will know. All that braying and appealing big brown eyes will get on my nerves, to be frank.
An update on the Recycling front. Some recycling bags have been obtained at long last, and the recycling has been bagged up properly. I then dragged it all out and ripped up boxes in the garden. This was fun. It has taken quite a while for all the little bits of Capn Birds Eye fish fingers cardboard box to be picked up. The recycling sacks have now been tied, which is what should have happened in the first place. Shoddy. So as you can see, I’ve had a busy day even without the 5 mile walk. He and Lad are due back from Wet Sham soon. They will be sad. Wet Sham lost 0-3 at home. This is very poor and rather disappointing, so I expect there will be An Atmosphere. I’ll just sleep through it.
Good Lord, I’m exhausted.
See you soon.