Well, it’s pouring with rain now, Readers, and what was left of the snow has gone. It really is a grim, grey afternoon, and I’m jolly glad it’s too wet to drag me out for a second walk today. I did have a lovely walk this morning before it started chucking down, and frankly that’s quite enough for today. Anyway, Lad has just put me in the bath – I wasn’t best pleased – as I rolled in some cack this morning and was very muddy. I really don’t see what the point was; I’m only going to get filthy again tomorrow, but I suppose it gave Lad a break from his Revision. Plus he had to clean the bathroom afterwards and has been spraying Viakal like his life depends on it. So today started well – a bit of a lie-in, He didn’t have to go to work and nobody had to get up early. A leisurely start to the day, just how I like it. Lad needed to lie in a bit longer than everyone else, of course, but He, She and Young Lad took me out for a Family Walk this morning. Young Lad did everything possible to get out of doing this, but they Stood Firm. He was bribed with a cheese sandwich to take with him, as he was moaning he was hungry; this confused me a lot, as I normally trot down the road facing the way we’re going, but today I had to sort of walk backwards so that I could stare at his sandwich and be ready to snatch a bit if it dropped. This gave me a neck ache, Readers, and was very ungainly. I didn’t see many of my friends today – I think I’d missed the busy slot- but it was gloriously muddy where the snow has suddenly melted and turned to bog. Oh, I did see Oscar the Border Terrier on the way back, and he jumped up to spatter mud all over her jeans, like he always does. Oscar can be relied on for this, and it makes me laugh as She brushes the mud off, pretending her jeans were filthy anyway. Bastard Swan was back there, gleaming whitely on the river, but was on his own so I can only hope the other Bastard Swans got stuck in the river when it froze. Young Lad finished his cheese sandwich and didn’t give me any, so I ran off in disgust. Readers, in attempt to look like a normal dog-walking family they took the long pink ball flinger thing with them. This never ends well. I pandered to them by chasing the ball a couple of times, but I find this quite dull so what I do is run off into the bushes and drop the ball somewhere. Then they spend half an hour swiping with the long pink ball flinger thing to try and find it, and never can. It’s amusing. He always gets very cross about The Loss of a Tennis Ball, and She says ohwell we alwaysfindanotherone. I wanted to turn left and go over the bridge to Top Field today, but Young Lad refused, saying it was too far, and they didn’t have any more sandwiches with which to bribe him. So we went to Far Field instead, where we did indeed find another tennis ball that someone else had lost, Proving Her Right, but it was pretty shoddy and not of the same standard as mine.
Once home, the Sunday morning peace was shattered by the arrival of lovelyneighbourontheright’s cockapoo, as we looked after him while they were out. He doesn’t seem to understand the very simple premise that if I wanted someone to jump on my head repeatedly, I would tell them. I got very cross with him after a while, and snapped. He even tried to jump on my head while I was doing the pre-wash of the dishwasher; this was most annoying. In the end, the cockapoo was shut in the lounge with Lad and Young Lad, and they were told to Play With It. Lad couldn’t as he was revising, and Young Lad was very busy on his phone, so the cockapoo entertained himself by running up and down with slippers, socks and other items of footwear. He was taken home just before Sunday Lunch was served.
Now, Readers, as you know there have been many Interesting and Intellectual discussions at the dinner table recently, and today was no exception. We’ve moved on from Is Trump Proving To Be a Good President After All, and today it was all about whether Young Lad would like to do something called the Duke Of Edinburgh Award Scheme when he’s a bit older. It was explained that this is Fun, and Educational, and Character Building, plus it looks good on your CV, whatever that is. Young Lad thought for a nanosecond, and then asked, “does it involve much walking?” to which the answer was er, yes, so he has politely declined. I quite agree with him – it sounds like Organised Fun and those sorts of things are hideous. He and She were rather disappointed and asked him to give it some thought. We all know how much thought he will give it.
Yesterday was quite marvellous, Readers, as I had two long walks. Now normally this would annoy me, but the second one was rather special as I met dear, dear Pippa down there and we went for a walk together. Pippa was pleased to see me and jumped on me very hard; she then ran and crashed into me, knocking me flying to the ground where I rolled over helplessly. It was hilarious. She’s such fun. We romped our way up through Top Field, where She said, “ok, we’ll leave you here and head home,” but I was not having that, Readers, and ignored her. She had no choice but to follow us up through the woods for another Long Walk. I was very upset at the end, when Pippa and I had to go home in different directions, and I sat down and refused to move. Only the thought of Pippa’s birthday cake (made with liver and cream cheese), tempted me to my feet.
It was rather stressful last evening. Lad had gone to a town Far Away to meet his friends and go to the cinema. Now, the cinema is in a shopping centre, but Lad and his friends had some difficulty finding an exit when they came out of the cinema. The shopping centre was closed and there appeared to be No Means of Leaving. This must have been very worrying for them and the other people who had just exited the cinema. Luckily Lad and his friends are Very Resourceful and managed to attract the attention of a Security Guard (they didn’t have to do much, just look the way they usually look with their hoods up) and they were escorted to a hidden exit. This meant Lad was quite late getting home, and She couldn’t get her friend Gordon out as She had to drive to the station to pick him up. I then picked a fight with her, as I had chosen my spot on the sofa for the evening, and not left her any room. She tried to squeeze in and bodily push me further over, but I wasn’t having this, either, and refused to move an inch. Sometimes you have to show people who’s in charge.
Well, Readers, after Sunday lunch it is Sunday tea which involves lots of home-made things, and moaning about spending the wholebldyday in the kitchen. Apart, that is, from the hour spent with Young Lad on his homework, finding out about the features of a town in the middle ages, and describing a picture of a bombsite. Both of which will stand him in good stead in the future.
I’ve no idea what the week will bring, Friends, but I’m bound to be dumped with Pippa and Ebony at some point. I look forward to this, as I’m not bored with them.
Bye for now,