Beast from the East

IMG_20180228_101123_270 This diagram, Readers, shows you how keen I was to leave the house and go for a long walk in several inches of snow today. I tried hard to disguise myself as the red fleece on the sofa, but unfortunately my nose was sticking out and I was spotted.  So, the snow finally arrived with a vengeance, and bldy inches of the stuff was dumped during the night.  When I needed my comfort break this morning, I had to DASH down the garden, under the bushes for cover, and then try to find a suitable spot on the lawn.  This was very, very difficult and I went round in circles for ages, trying to find somewhere my bottom wouldn’t actually come into contact with the snow.  Then I dashed back to the house and straight  back to  bed.  It was traumatic.

Just as traumatic was Lad and Young Lad’s wait to see if their schools were open.  Young Lad showed a bit more willing, by having a shower and putting on his uniform, whereas Lad took the less positive option of staying in bed with a coffee.  Ping by ping came through the emails and messages bringing those words of pure joy; “school closed.”  Young Lad ran round the lounge cheering, and Lad stayed in bed.  Only one person seemed less than pleased about this. She is such a killjoy.  Poor He, on the other hand, went into work extra , extra early to clear paths and make everywhere safe.  He has been out in the cold again ALL day.  He and I are both exhausted tonight.  So, an unusual day with nearly everyone at home, and piles of freezing cold snow everywhere you look.  Hideous.

Would you think there would be some respite from all the ridiculous walking, in these conditions?  Well, you would, wouldn’t you.  Scott of the Antarctic didn’t say, “Come on Rover, it’s beautiful out there, a couple of miles will do us good.”  Actually, I think Scott of the Antarctic ate his dogs because his Forward Planning was abysmal.  Or was that his horses. Hmm. Well, of course I was dragged out into the morning sunshine and taken down to the river.  I have to say, it was pleasant to see hundreds of children out sledging  down the one very slight hill, and there were lots of dogs watching.  One of them was Rocco the Inspirational Three-Legged Dog who was even more Inspirational than usual as he was coping with the snow on his three legs. The snow made some of the other chaps rather frisky, and as if it wasn’t bad enough going out in the first place, some of them wanted me to play with them!

20180228_110959 Here is a diagram of a very bouncy dog trying to make me play with him.  I didn’t want to.  I did make a quick dash for the houses where they often put bread out for the birds, but the snow was so deep I couldn’t find any.  Irritating.  The trouble is with this weather, one minute it’s blue skies and sunshine and you could be quaffing schnapps at Val D’Isere, but then seconds later Storm Norman blows in and you are blindly groping around in a blizzard trying to stay alive.  This is exactly what it was like at the river this morning.  Thankfully once the blizzarding thing started, we headed home.   On the way back I picked up a particularly attractive  stick.  Something went wrong, though, and I ended up with a large piece of stick wedged in my mouth.  I just couldn’t get the darned thing out, and it was stuck at a funny angle behind my teeth, so I couldn’t shut my mouth.  I looked ridiculous.  Once home, I was given a carrot to chew on, and this did the trick.

As well as Lad and Young Lad’s company today (I use the term ‘company’ loosely here), we also had The Friendly Electrician round to Do A Job.  This was nice, as he pays  me compliments and says how handsome I am, which is something that rarely happens in this house.  Occasionally during the morning, I wandered upstairs to check on the quality of his craftmanship and sniff through his toolbox.  There were no sandwiches in it, which was disappointing.  I can report that his Wiring is to a High Standard and he will be allowed back one day. Lad surprised us all by getting up soon after 8am and starting some studying!  This really was worrying.  It all made sense a bit later, when he asked to be driven to a town Far Away to Hang Out with His Mates.  It had to be explained gently and calmly to Lad that this wasn’t a great idea.  He accepted this without question.

Lad has, at least, done some studying today, as well as a fair bit of time on the Xbox with his friends.  Young Lad has done no studying.  He, too, has enjoyed lots of time on the Xbox, but to be fair, he did don Layers, Coat, Hat, Gloves and Boots this afternoon and go out sledging with his friends.  This is a Normal and Healthy pastime for Young Lad, and he kept it up for two hours.  Lad was persuaded out for, ooh, fifteen minutes.  I was dragged out for a second walk this afternoon to watch the sledging.  Lad threw some snowballs for me and I played along for  a while, jumping up and catching them, then eating them in case there was any food inside. There wasn’t.  So I became bored of that game.  Readers, you have no idea what hard work it is walking through deep snow that comes up to your elbows. I am exhausted tonight, and have been snoring loudly through Look East.  He had to tell me to be quiet, as it was important to watch the weather forecast so we all know What To Expect Tomorrow.

My dear friend Pippa was two years old yesterday.  Her loving Pack Leader has made her a Liver Cake – yum – and has just texted to say would I like a piece, or will it make my flatulence play up.  Honestly, the indignity of it.  Is there anyone who doesn’t discuss my intestinal comings and goings?  It’s so rude.  And yes I do want a bit. Please.

Well, Readers, who knows what tomorrow will bring.  Lad and Young Lad are praying their schools are shut again, but She’s told them not to hold their breath.  I feel like I could sleep for a week, as it’s a well known fact that cold weather makes you tired.  Oh yes, Australian Friends, thanks for telling us that it’s 33 degrees where you are.  That was nice of you.

Keep warm, Friends, and Friendly Electrician, please put something to eat in your toolbox next time you pop round.

Bye for now,

Russell

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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