Today was a little different from the normal humdrum, Readers, as I went out visiting. It all started the same way, with alarm clocks at 6am and lots of shouting of hurryupandgetintheshower/where’smytie/idon’tknow/lookforit!!! for about forty minutes, which bored me so I had a sleep. It was so cold out, that when She ‘popped into town’ after the school run, I didn’t even move from the fleece on the sofa to empty the recycling bag everywhere. I was quite tired after another ridiculous amount of walking yesterday – two walks, total just over four miles. Unnecessary. Once back from town (apparently Costalotta need to turn their heating up as it was brass monkeys in there), we went for my walk nice and early. It was BITING, Readers, BITING. Lots of friends were out, including poor Teddy the Australian Labradoodle with his rather harsh haircut; it makes you wince looking at him in this weather. Chuck was on fine form, his coat shining more than ever, but it was so cold that neither of us hung around to sniff backsides today. Brrr. Still, intrepid souls that we are, we marched briskly around Top Field to the rhythm of Donna Summer, “On the Radio” – no, I’ve no idea either. I took a comfort break in the middle of the field while She had stomped back down to the beginning, so yet again there was moaning and groaning as She had to stomp all the way back up to Look For It. I also tried to roll in some cack, but was shouted at and grabbed frantically as, “we’re going visiting in a bit!!” On the way back home, we bumped into Nicedogwalkerlady and her husband, and the three hundred brown labradors, and I was asked why there was no blog last night. A very good question, Readers. Apparently She had, “too much work to do.” Priorities. Wrong.
Enough of this. The excitement of the day was being put in the car to go and visit her friend, let’s call her Sicknote for the sake of this blog, who Was Off Sick. Now, Readers, it is down to Sicknote that I have ended up living here with my family – it is all her fault. I was perfectly happy where I lived before, grabbing loads of snacks and not being marched out on four mile walks in the cold, but did anyone ask me? No, of course not. But I’m not one to hold a grudge, so agreed to go and visit Sicknote and her brown labrador (yes, another one) called Charlie. Well, it seems I, “stunk the car out,” on the way there, so despite it being minus four, She rolled the window down. As soon as we arrived, I jumped up at the kitchen counter to see if there was anything to eat – apparently this is rude. Then I tried to go upstairs for a look round, as I imagine they have High Standards of Bedding there, and fancied a kip, but this is Also Rude, and I was dragged back down. This annoyed me so much, Readers, that I had no choice but to climb into a chair and go to sleep. I felt sorry for Charlie the Brown Labrador, as She had sat down in his chair – who’s rude now? Initially I sat on her lap, but was very squashed and She refused to get off the chair for me, so I had to make do with another one. Poor Charlie had to sit on the floor. Anyway, She and Sicknote talked incessantly for the best part of two hours , which bored Charlie and I to tears. Then I refused to get off the chair when it was time to go home, as I was perfectly comfortable there. I was moaned at in the car for being an, “unsociable git” – Readers, did I get any credit for not farting at Sicknote’s and stinking the house out? No, of course not. Sicknote did say I’m very handsome, and clearly appreciates me a lot more than my own family do. It was nice going to visit, and if I’d been allowed to look around upstairs, I wouldn’t have been so grumpy. But there you go.
Lad has been at home today with another of his ‘headaches’. What’s that you’re saying? Was Games on the timetable today? Well, blow me down, it was! He was given lots and lots of sympathy at home, in the form of a Chemistry GCSE past paper and the Wifi being switched off. Amazingly, Lad has rallied and managed to do all his homework plus the Chemistry Past Paper, without leaving his pyjamas. I’m helping him, by lying on his lap while he tries to draw a graph on top of me. Young Lad has had a busy day at school, playing Futsall in PE (no idea) and going to Handball Club at lunchtime. We are all rather worried about Young Lad’s sudden burst of physical effort in the last week or so – it is not in his nature. Plus he looks like a walking XRay at the best of times, and all this exercise could make him disappear completely. This would be a shame, as I often sleep on Young Lad’s bed with him. There isn’t much room for him, but that’s okay as he’s so slim. Of course, any caring family would buy a double bed for the two of us, not expect me to be squashed up like that all night.
Well, my Regular Readers might remember my young friend J who was having nasty things done to him in the Marsden when I started my blog, back in the day. J is doing really well, and his
Evil Vets doctors are pleased with him. He still has some nasty things done to him, but hopefully not for much longer. One would like to think that the positive vibes from my blog and all you Readers have helped him and his Pack Leader on their journey, but that is New Age Bollocks, it seems.
Readers, thanks to Oscar the Border Terrier’s Pack Leaders, I now have an Instagram account. Yep, really, thanks for that. She has no idea what to do with it, but has managed thus far to post a couple of pictures of me with inane comments. What’s the point? None at all. Just more time-wasting when cupboards/the oven/the fridge could be being cleaned out.
It’s meant to snow tomorrow, Friends, so I hope you are tucked up in the warm. Although the two of you in Australia will obviously be enjoying a heatwave and laughing at us.
Bye for now,