Today, Readers, I have chucked a bag of potato peelings over the floor, and knocked the recycling all round the back porch. They should have put it outside in the bags. I’ve also dragged the bag with carrot ends and a broccoli stalk into the lounge, and eaten them. These were on the shelf in the back porch, ready to give Lovelyneighbourontheright’s rabbit. The rabbit will have to do without. I had shocking wind to begin with, way before I did all this, so it’s only going to get worse. I was bored this afternoon, while they were all at work/school and needed something to do. Now, Lad has left a rucksack in his bedroom (the one I chewed through), and I know damned well that there is a Blueberry Cereal Bar in it, somewhat squashed at the bottom. I had planned to deal with that this afternoon. But Lad’s bedroom door was shut, which scuppered my plans and annoyed me. I was also tempted to walk mud all over the John Lewis White Duvet Cover, as I was exceptionally muddy from my walk earlier, but oh no. That bedroom door was shut, too. So I had no option but to chuck the peelings around and leave rubbish in the lounge.
Yesterday I had to be dragged from my chair in the morning, as I REALLY didn’t want to go for a walk after that ridiculous 5 mile business, the day before. It was drizzling and grey, and nobody in their right mind would swap a comfortable armchair for 3 miles of grey drizzle. As it was, I bumped into her friend from work, Madame, who was out running in the grey drizzle. Clearly she is not in her right mind, either. So we plodded on through the rain, and just to spice things up a bit, I ran off towards the houses again. It was a carefully timed, unexpected burst of speed from me, and She was miles ahead before She noticed I had disappeared. So running across the bumpy field in Wellington Boots, shouting, was the order of the day, yet again. It does make me laugh. We went over the bridge into Top Field, and marched round it fast. Well, I didn’t. I took my time and dawdled, as there were some particularly ripe smells. Eventually I was put back on the lead and told to bldyhurryup. I was FILTHY and wet from yesterday’s walk, and was sent to my bed in the kitchen to dry off. Until I sneaked out when the door was opened and legged it to my armchair. It was felt that a hearty, nutritious meal was needed for Young Lad, Lad and He when they returned home at the end of the day, so the entire saucepan collection was used to make lasagne. This is always a good choice for me, as I give the filthy plates a pre-rinse in the dishwasher. Then the kitchen had to be cleaned up from the multi-saucepan lasagne making. It was a quiet evening, although Lad and She started watching a new comedy series on Sky Atlantic that was bldyhilarious but Highly Inappropriate and I was shocked that Lad was allowed to watch it. The sniggering got on my nerves, in the end.
Today it has been lashing down with rain all day. Was I allowed to spend the morning, dry and warm in my armchair? Of course not.
In this diagram you can see how much I enjoyed my walk in the sodding rain. I was drenched when we got home, and had to sit in my bed again. I suppose I should be grateful that the walk was cut short by half a mile, but really. There were very few dogs down there today, as most Pack Leaders weren’t as
deranged hardy as the few that were out. I did bump into dear Ebony on the way, but lucky Ebony was coming back from her walk, and would have been dry and warm a lot sooner than me. Nicedogwalkerlady was, of course, down there but really, that was about it. It’s all very well saying, “it’s only a bit of rain,” and “it’ll do us good,” but it’s very easy to say that when you are wearing a thick coat, bobble hat and have an umbrella. So think on. Mind you, I did see one poor dog with a ridiculous purple coat on. If anyone tried to put a purple coat on me, I’d have their hand off. Golly, we were soaked through. Our march was in time to “Miss You Nights” by Cliff Richard. This is what happens if you listen to Radio 2 whilst making fish pie for dinner. Though it was an acid house version, judging by the tempo at which we marched.
Young Lad had to walk all the way home from school tonight. Oh, hang on, luckily he was given a lift by a friend’s grandparent. Young Lad also had to walk to school yesterday morning and this morning, both in the rain. Oh, hang on, he was given a lift by a friend’s Dad. Young Lad hasn’t in fact walked anywhere this week, and this suits him just fine. He is rather perturbed as there is a chance Football Training is on at school, tomorrow, followed by Indoor Cricket nets. This will be exhausting, and I can only hope he is given plenty of lifts by friends’ relatives. Lad is supposed to be doing his English homework, but is looking up designer belts on his phone again. This has nothing to do with Romeo and Juliet, as far as I can see. “Romeo, Romeo, shall I buy Versace or Gucci,” does not ring any bells. It worries me.
He has just come in from a very long day at work. Thankfully they have left him some fish pie, and there will be one more plate for me to pre-wash in the dishwasher. There is some healthy Banana tea bread for afterwards, as there is some concern about how much Sugar and Rubbish Lad and Young Lad ate over half term. Young Lad says he’d rather have a bag of crisps than the Banana tea bread. I think he’s missed the point, but I can see what he’s saying.
Well, Readers, it’s Wednesday tomorrow. As you know, this is a day I am Left All Day and my family show no care for me whatsoever. Thankfully, I’m off to dear Ebony’s house for the day, but I’m hoping to get to that Blueberry Cereal Bar beforehand. I know exactly where it is.
Bye for now,