This diagram shows what happens, Readers, if you force me out for TWO long walks in one day. I fall asleep sitting bolt upright. Unprecedented levels of exhaustion hit me today – partly due to too many walks, plus, it being Sunday, we ‘look after’ Lovelyneighbourontheright’s Cockapoo puppy. Well. The young whippersnapper came round this morning and got on my nerves, frankly – he does not stop bouncing around and jumping on my head, and it drives me INSANE. Everywhere I went, he followed – he even re-distributed the recycling I had carefully placed round the garden! SO annoying. I have special places for the things out of the recycling sacks – certain things go under certain bushes, and I wasn’t happy that he changed my system. The Harry Ramsden Cod in Batter box does NOT go under the rose bush! Grrrr. After an hour and a half of me snapping and barking at the youngster, he was taken Back Home. Even Gingercat arched his back and hissed at Lovelyneighbourontheright’s Cockapoo, but the darned pup still seemed to enjoy himself!
Then we went for a 3 mile walk, which was lovely, but just about finished me off. As we were going down the alleyway to the river, She suddenly stopped because her foot was uncomfortable in her wellington boot. When investigated, it transpired there was a Drill Bit in her boot. I know. It gets better. Up in the fields, when I was rolling in poo, She tried to pull the whistle out of her coat pocket, and instead pulled out a different Drill Bit. It beggars belief. Thankfully I was saved the embarrassment of her actually blowing the Drill Bit, but even so. How many other Pack Leaders are wandering around with random items of hardware in their pockets and boots? None. Never mind, it was a stunning day down at the river – cold, mark you, but a beautiful blue sky and bright sunshine. There were many dogs and children down there, all having a lovely time. It was a slight mistake to vary our route, and go down along the river bank, as this was Extremely Muddy and potential falling face first scenarios were a real risk. Legs and wellington boots were completely caked in mud, and there was some sliding backwards up the hilly part. Good job there was nobody else around to see, as they had all sensibly stuck to the path. As we should have done. We went over the bridge into Top Field, but some people were riding BMX bikes in there today – ruddy noisy things. I hate them. I barked menacingly at one man in a helmet and muddy overalls, who was sitting astride his BMX by the gate. He knew I meant business.
Once home, I was more than ready for a kip, but no – some dried up French bread was put out on the bird table, which meant I had to run in and out for another hour to snatch up everything the birds dropped. It being a lovely day, some Gardening was done – the first of the year! Apparently the Ruddy Buddleia needed to be chopped right down – this is one of the Most Hated Jobs of All Time and has to be done twice a year. With a lot of moaning and groaning, She climbed up a ladder and hacked the poor ten foot bush to death, and then paid Lad to chop it all up and cram it in the green bin. There was no way it was all going to fit, so both Lad and Young Lad were forced to climb into the green bin on top of all the branches, and jump up and down. This is not the way they wanted to spend their Sunday afternoon, and it seems cruel. At any rate, the garden looks a little better for having some light in it now, but I wasn’t thrilled that Lad had to clear up all my recycling collage as part of his payment.
Yesterday, Readers, was the main cause of my tiredness today. He had a day off from work, and decided to take me for a lovely long walk in the morning while She was out. He and I have lovely walks together – He doesn’t shout at me or tell me to hurry up all the time. Though I did run off to the houses (to look through the bins) at one point, so He had to put me on the lead after that. Then, in the afternoon, She decided to take me for a long walk as well!! This is for the Exercise Quotient, and my regular Readers will know that we Can’t Afford Gym Membership And A Dog, as we like to remind me once a week, so I had to go for another power walk, even longer than the morning’s! I could barely move when I got home – yes, most dogs thrive on this kind of lifestyle and enjoy the exercise, but I am not Most Dogs, as you should know by now. I was shattered, and slept heavily through Chicago Fire and CSI Los Angeles all evening.
Well, Loadsakids took the advice you’rebldymadwoman when considering a trip to Ikea, and changed her mind, so they met up for coffee after all. There was the usual comparison and sniggering about teenagers and dogs. and a lovely time was had by them both. The staff at Costalotta were rather surprised to see her splash out on a Latte instead of the cheapest coffee on the menu, but sometimes caution has to be thrown to the wind. In the afternoon, much cleaning and tidying up was done in an attempt to get On Top Of Things. It won’t last. And no, it didn’t extend to the cupboard under the stairs.
Lad had a slight lie-in this morning and was finally ejected from his bed at 1pm. Just in time for lunch. This was a shoddy affair, really, considering it is Sunday – whilst most families sat down at a table to a Lovely Roast today, Lad and Young Lad had fish finger sandwiches in front of Come Dine With Me. The irony was not lost on them. This was because He wasn’t here today, and She couldn’t
be bothered find the time to cook a roast for the three of them. They had ‘proper dinner’ tonight. Well, if that’s a proper dinner………..Talking of which, I’m a little anxious that my food is about to run out. The next delivery isn’t due until later this week, and if you remember, I’ve helped myself on a couple of occasions recently, so the carefully calculated how much left/delivery date is a bit skewed. The answer, it seems, is to reduce my portions until the new box arrives. Yet another example of neglect, Readers.
Tomorrow will be peaceful, Friends, as Lad and She are up in London all day at An Important Place, and they will be gone from early morning until the evening. Young Lad, He and I have the place to ourselves all day. Marvellous. There may not be a blog tomorrow night as She will be Far Too Tired after coping with the Central Line in the rush hour. Twice.
Well, there are in fact nearly two hours to go before the Finale of McMafia (thank God that’s finishing at last), but the blog has to come to an end now so that we can Get Ready for it. I will happily sleep through the Russian dialogue for an hour.
See you soon,