I am In Disgrace, Readers. I was sent to my bed, and the kitchen door was shut on me. All I did was wandered into the study, and happened to notice that Lad had put down his plate with a slice of pizza on it, on the table. Whilst his back was turned, I felt I ought to tidy up a bit so snatched the pizza like greased lightning, and dashed off with it. Lad was very, very annoyed and raised his voice – he virtually never gets cross with me. He shouted, “RUSSELL! NAUGHTY!!” so I growled at him, to show how much I respect his authority. Then he sent me to my bed, but I had eaten the pizza by this time and it was jolly nice. I would do the same again. Anyway, it wasn’t long before someone opened the kitchen door and forgot I was In Disgrace, so now I’m back on the sofa cuddled up on the fleece. Look, my Regular Readers know quite well that Friday night is slovenly pizza night, and I think it would be nice to include me in this sometimes.
I’m pretty exhausted tonight, actually, and struggling to keep my eyes open. I’ve had a lovely day at Pippa’s house, and we had a fabulous walk this afternoon. The Bastard Swans weren’t there, but Pippa’s Pack Leader made a point of going and leaning over the railing to have a look. She pays close attention to my blog. I blotted my copybook rather, though, by finding a wonderful pile of fox poo and having a good old roll. Oh, it felt so nice! All down my back, such a special smell. This diagram shows the attractive streaks of fox cack all along my back, where I rolled over and over. Such long streaks, aren’t they! And a goodly lot round my collar, as you can see if you look closely. It was heavenly, Unfortunately Pippa’s Pack Leader didn’t agree, and when we got home, I had to be washed thoroughly. Again. Well, it gave her something to do. And she uses a lovely hypo-allergenic shampoo, not the Value Range that we have at home. Pippa didn’t roll in any fox poo, and was generally better behaved. I needed a sleep back at Pippa’s house, and before I knew it, She had turned up to collect me. By this time I was starving and wanted to get home for dinner, but oh no, She and Pippa’s Pack Leader had to stand there chatting for fifteen minutes……I was so bored. I tried barking and whining but they did the “ignore him” thing, so in the end I sat down and waited. And waited. It was rather selfish of them.
There was yet another Panic this morning, as Young Lad and She were driving to school/work. Young Lad had painstakingly written a piece of homework last night about the changes In England after William the Conqueror took control. He had thought of one thing. Thankfully, Lad has also covered this period of History and could think of a few more. Once they reached the other side of town this morning, though, Young Lad realised he’d left his History book on the snooker table at home. This is when the Panic ensued. He would be in a Lot Of Trouble. Eventually an agreement was reached – She would text Lovelyneighbourontheright and ask them to pop in and search for the History book, as they surely wouldn’t have much else to do at 8am, like get two children ready for school. Then they could deliver the book to her at work, and She would drive down to Young Lad’s school with it at lunchtime. Young Lad seemed happy with this arrangement – but I feel Young Lad hasn’t learned a lesson from this. Readers, this is Shoddy Parenting and involves relying heavily on the goodwill of neighbours. Yet Again.
Lad has had a long day and says he has a bad headache, but will doubtless manage several hours on the Xbox tonight, as he is such a Trouper. Young Lad is now watching Chicago Fire – yep, still Season 5 – which at the moment is focusing on a chef who has had an accident with a knife and cut his hand off. Readers, I’m thinking the same thing. A) what garbage and B) what’s it got to do with the fire brigade. He is reading the paper, and She has been trying to find out what’s happened to Nana aged 86. The last She heard (yesterday) Nana aged 86 had gone to hospital as she thought she’d broken her leg. The one that had a new hip only ten days ago. Only Nana aged 86 could manage such a thing. It turns out it isn’t broken, but it is a Medical Mystery like so many things about Nana aged 86, and she’s still in hospital while they try to work out what’s happened. Nana aged 86’s medical notes make War and Peace look like a comic, and a special trolley has to be used to wheel them around. I do hope she gets home soon, even though she hates me.
I needed a comfort break at 5.30 this morning – it can’t be helped! She was so grumpy about it, moaning that it wasn’t bldyworth going back to bldysleep as the bldyalarm would be going off in 20 minutes. Most people would have simply got up and seized the day, maybe taking the opportunity to clear out the cupboard under the stairs, but oh no. Back to bed we went, with much huffing and puffing when the alarm went off twenty minutes later. So I wasn’t popular. Again. Maybe because of this, my Kong filling this morning was, wait for it, cold baked beans. No word of a lie. Just look at the recent track record – cold porridge, cold fish pie, cold Brown Windsor soup gloup, and now cold baked beans. I mean, I ate it of course, but really.
Well, Friends, thankfully we all have a bit of a lie-in tomorrow! Nobody has to get up early. Gingercat will probably start yowling at 5am, then I’ll need a comfort break at 6am, but it’s a lie-in of sorts. I’m looking forward to it. Nobody is at school or work for the whole weekend. Marvellous – I’ll get some walks and attention. Young Lad wants to meet up with a friend and “hang out” tomorrow, and She has texted her good friend Loadsakids, whom She hasn’t seen for ages, to see if she fancies meeting for coffee. Loadsakids has said she was thinking about a trip to Ikea, so She said you need your bldyhead read woman, and Loadsakids might change her mind. Lad will spend the entire morning in bed, and will moan when told to get up at lunchtime. There was a suggestion that Lad might like to go to the cinema to see “Journey’s End”, which he is studying for GCSE. Lad pulled a very strange face, and said, “are you mad?” when this was suggested. That’s a no, then. Never mind, He and Young Lad might go to watch the film about Winston Churchill. Sounds dull beyond belief.
Oh, just a quick update. You’ll be glad to know that Young Lad’s Passport has now been countersigned. Colleagues 1 and 2 may have been a bit slack earlier in the week, but were virtually fighting over the chance to redeem themselves. Young Lad will now be able to travel, if She remembers to put it in the bldypost.
Golly, I’m exhausted.
Bye for now,